I hate wondering

[EricInTheHouse]

I know this girl from another forum, and she is so sweet, and nice..looks hot too. Well she is married and we are just friends on the forum, but she post about her verbly abusive husband, and recently he threw a unopened can of soda into her side. She is always talking about leaving him(she has a kid too) and we all try to convince her to leave. She says she can't right now, because she has no money and depends on her husband for health insurance.

She needs the health insurance because she suffers from chronic pain in her back.... She has some sort of disease or something that screwed up her back..she takes lmeds and stuff...therapy ect ect.... Moving out away from that guy is not an option right now.. She has no family around to go too(she says)

She is always telling us things and keeping us updated, but NOW, she says she got the test results back from the doctor and NOW she has several tumors on her left Kidney:nervous: ......she's scared..ect ect....

This is the thing.......she's......23 years old. I don't know.. and she seems to be a really sweet, honest person, and I really enjoy writing to her, but.... geez all these problems she constantly is having, and now tumors on her Kidney?..... I hate to say this, and maybe it is true, but ..man..... I suspect a little attention grabbing here.

All her problems seem so extravigant.... I just have a suspision about her honesty to the point I hate writing to her or wondering if she is for real or not. The thing is, I considered helping her with money so she can get out of the abusive relationship, I understand that, and it I would LOVE to help someone like that... Now I just wonder if she is for real...it drives me nuts!

This is what I hate about online crap... There will always be the question "Is this person for real?"

 

[EricInTheHouse]

BTW, right now I WILL assume she is being honest, because I would not enjoy if I said something snarky and it turns out to be true.. She seems honest, so maybe she is telling the truth.

It would just really piss me off and waste my time if she turns out to be a fake.

 

[penkitten]

that's the thing with internet forums, we never know if people are really what they say they are in real life.

 

[EricInTheHouse]

that's the thing with internet forums, we never know if people are really what they say they are in real life.

Well I admit last year when I was a LoveShacker, I would come up with some new crap almost daily mostly just talking out of extreme frustration.
People sometimes questioned my honesty, and I was deemed a bit of an attention getter, but I tellya.. that Fvcked up, crazy person was really me dishing out all the emotion I had in me. I used the forum like LS as a public trash dump so I coud let out the frustration.

Well I got bad, and got myself perma-banned.

I know my crap was for real, and I REALLY HATE thinking this sweet girl is just playing attention grabber, but damn it seems she is near death now at 23 years old, yet she post in the "what did you eat last thread" with a happy smily..

I will continue to support her....she is really a nice person, and I'll just say yeah that she probably does have all these problems.....perhaps she just hides her true emotions from us by trying to act happy...hence posting in the
"what did you eat last thread"... I wouldn't feel like posting in a thread like that if I were in her position.

I hate thinking like this about her....dammit!... she has helped me so much, and I feel like an ******* now... I hate when my mind wanders like...so annoying.

 

[Phyzzle]

The nice thing about internet forums is that you can call people out. "We all know you will never do anything about any of these problems. I don't see why you're talking to us instead of a Social Security disability benefit clerk."

If you like, you can look for parts of the story that don't make sense. On the other hand, some people are idiots with train wreck lives. What's so hard to believe about that?

 

[EricInTheHouse]

The nice thing about internet forums is that you can call people out. "We all know you will never do anything about any of these problems. I don't see why you're talking to us instead of a Social Security disability benefit clerk."

If you like, you can look for parts of the story that don't make sense. On the other hand, some people are idiots with train wreck lives. What's so hard to believe about that?

She has actually inquired about disability benefits, but I think she got denied. She can't escape to a woman's shelter to get away from her husband, because she has a kid(according to her) No Family that she can turn to, or friends, it's like she has no options to try at all and anything we try to tell her she has a reason why she can't do it.

Right now she is secretly putting away money for her escape, and she just got the truck fixed and ready so she can escape when the time comes.

On top of this stuff about how abusive her husband is, she will say something about how she feels sorry for him, because his boss called him in on a day he had off and it was icy out... He had to walk to work, because the truck was busted.. Pfffttt the guy sounds like a douche bag yet she says she feels sorry for him, and that she even loves him.

I've seen his picture and he does look like an a$$wipe.. She told us that he once pushed her onto the bed, pulled his pants down and farted like an inch from her face.. She said she could feel the air "wush" by her face.... but she loves him...

So annoying, and yeah maybe she is not dramatizing, but damn.... I'm thinking of backing away from it.... She has plenty of help there, so..... I have no more advice to her.... All I know is, if this guy truly is the way she tells us.... I would like to hit him in the head..

Uggg sucks so bad, because I can't help wonder if things are REALLY that bad for her, and at the same time, I wonder if it REALLY is that bad, and she isn't making a huge drama about it. She does describe her medical problems very well though... Some of the terms she says, I will google them to see if they match her condition.....and they do... It is unfortunate she has such chronic pain, so young, but then she gets abused and slapped by her husband, and now she has tumors on her Kidney?? I dunno...just seems way to dramatised for some reason..

Maybe all she says is true, I don't know.... This is what I hate about Fvcking internet friendships...

 

[KontrollerX]

She's either a bullsh!t artist or a severely fvcked up woman.

If she is legitimate she'd be a giant red flag for any man to get into a relationship with.

It doesn't matter how hot a woman is if her soul is rotten and some of the most vile human beings you can imagine in the world play on the sympathy card so please dude take this internet personality with a gigantic grain of salt and pull back a bit.

Stop caring so much and just focus on getting entertained by her zany stories.

If she's suffering so badly its her responsibility to get out of the bad situation and fix herself.

Not yours.

 

[Phyzzle]

Do you live near her? Maybe you could put it in 'er butt.

Heh, have you been here long enough to see the term "emotional tampon"? You have the virtual version going on. Actually, it's getting to be so damn common that the term becoming so cliche all over the country now, not just on forums like this. A stereotypical woman gets her emotional release from abuse by complaining about it to a nicer guy. When the pent-up anger is released, she can go back and get abused again with a fresh slate. You are one of her enablers. As long as she can vent, she has no reason to stop the abuse.

 

[romangod]

I
All her problems seem so extravigant.... I just have a suspision about her honesty to the point I hate writing to her or wondering if she is for real or not. The thing is, I considered helping her with money so she can get out of the abusive relationship, I understand that, and it I would LOVE to help someone like that... Now I just wonder if she is for real...it drives me nuts!

Send her all your money immediately and borrow some if you have to. Then you'll know if she's being honest. Cheers!

 

[untouchable_1]

sounds like shes a troll. it's probably some pizza faced 15 year old ******* laughing his ass off at all of you.

"I've seen his picture and he does look like an a$$wipe.. She told us that he once pushed her onto the bed, pulled his pants down and farted like an inch from her face.. She said she could feel the air "wush" by her face.... but she loves him..."

lol.

just because you typed what "she" says into google and it checks out doesn't mean its true, "she" has google too, and from the sound of it a lot more spare time as well.

 

[EricInTheHouse]

She's either a bullsh!t artist or a severely fvcked up woman.

If she is legitimate she'd be a giant red flag for any man to get into a relationship with.

It doesn't matter how hot a woman is if her soul is rotten and some of the most vile human beings you can imagine in the world play on the sympathy card so please dude take this internet personality with a gigantic grain of salt and pull back a bit.

Stop caring so much and just focus on getting entertained by her zany stories.

If she's suffering so badly its her responsibility to get out of the bad situation and fix herself.

Not yours.

I wasn't looking to get hitched, she is married and has a little baby... We are just web friends, but her stories seem real, and unfortunate. She suffers from authritis type problems that causes pain in her disc..

She has that problem plus spousal abuse(he hits her sometimes) and now....tumors on her kidnies...

I mean if I was her with so much going on, I would not feel like being on a forum and typing..let alone putting a sad smiley at the end of.."I got my test results back and I have tumors on my left Kidney" at the end of that she put a sad feeling smiley...

I would of tossed the computer through the wall if I had all this going on in my life.... I hate thinking this way, but I do believe she is dramatising quite a bit... HOWEVER... I will not assume it, because you never know.... the poor girl may be really dealing with all of this...

I wish I sure way to find out , because yeah.....damn right I would send her money, so she could get away from that A$$hole..

She helped me a lot on that forum.... I hate thinking she's fibbing...

 

[EricInTheHouse]

Send her all your money immediately and borrow some if you have to. Then you'll know if she's being honest. Cheers!

The plan would be sending her a gift card to Wal-Mart(every town has one) so she could get supplies for her and the baby..

I do make great money... I'm single with no kids... Yeah if I knew for sure that she is really down-and-out like she says, yeah I would not have a problem doing that..

Not trying to look like a saint or anything, but rather making up for all the stupid SH!t I've done in my life.. It would feel good to know I helped...

 

[( . )( . )]

Not trying to look like a saint or anything, but rather making up for all the stupid SH!t I've done in my life.. It would feel good to know I helped...

So go to Africa and help the missionaries you bloody fraud.

Being a phony and sneaky, coward ("nice guy") is one thing, being a phony and sneaky, coward ("nice guy") here and expecting us to buy into your Captainsaveaho pity party is just pathetic. At least try and be a bit upfront.

I'd suggest stop talking to chicks in forums for a start and go meet some real ones.

 

[KontrollerX]

"I know my crap was for real, and I REALLY HATE thinking this sweet girl is just playing attention grabber, but damn it seems she is near death now at 23 years old, yet she post in the "what did you eat last thread" with a happy smily.."

Go with your gut instinct. With as supposedly many problems as she has doing something like this is just out of character. You know she's full of sh!t bro.

"I will continue to support her....she is really a nice person"

Thats how borderlines and histrionics always appear to be on the surface but appearances can be very deceiving. They are jekyll and hyde personalities, pathological liars to the core and attention wh0res above all else that will tell you many stories of tragedy in their life while appearing so sweet, gentle and broken and the sweetness act combined with the deep sob story draws the all too trusting co-dependent personality in under her spell. Co-dependent personality types are what we here on Sosuave ever so lovingly refer to as Capn Save a H0's. T!ttyman was a bit brutal with you with his post earlier but he does this out of love for the Sosuave brotherhood. He doesn't want to see you falling prey to this woman's schemes and being her knight. He wants to see you being successful and helping those people that can truly benefit from all that you have to offer help wise, love wise and otherwise. This chick just is not it. She doesn't pass the smell test and her stories have triggered your gut instinct where you doubt the sincerity of her stories on a deep level but try to brush off what you are feeling in that regard as being paranoid or something else indicating you are judging her unfairly.

My friend Histrionic Personality Disordered women as well as their more afflicted cousin the Borderline Personality Disordered woman thrive off of and live off of attention moreso than a regular woman. They will make up stories about how they are near death, how they might commit suicide, how their husband or boyfriends are so abusive etc etc and it is all in an effort to keep you listening, keep your attention focused squarely on them, keep you feeling guilty so that they can callously use you while you are tricked into thinking you are partaking in a genuine friendship when in reality the friendship is based on nothing but need and lies.

"and I'll just say yeah that she probably does have all these problems.....perhaps she just hides her true emotions from us by trying to act happy...hence posting in the
"what did you eat last thread"... I wouldn't feel like posting in a thread like that if I were in her position."

The way I see it you are trying to see the best in her so you are making excuses for her odd behaviour now. Its common of co-depenedents and other would be victims of these women to make excuses for their erratic Cluster B Personality Disordered behaviour. They seem so perfect on the surface kind gentle and sweet you just feel a natural protector to them.

"I hate thinking like this about her....dammit!... she has helped me so much, and I feel like an ******* now... I hate when my mind wanders like...so annoying."

She's only helping you if she is a borderline or histrionic to guarantee your continued presence and attention for you so that she may feed off of your goodness and use you as an emotional tamp0n. Do a forum search on Cluster B Personality Disorders, borderline and histrionic to find out if this seems to be what you've been dealing with in talking to her.

Even if her stories of woe are true she likely enjoys being abused by her man. Not the physical pain of it mind you but if she is a borderline or histrionic what she loves about this guy abusing her is that she gets to cry and feel wild emotions and she gets to vent to you and others then do it all over again a few days later. Its all extremely sick and you shouldn't take part in it any longer for your sake and for her sake. The best thing for these women is for men to leave them very alone. Attention only makes them sicker.

They use co-dependent men and men with Avoidant Personality Disorder mostly for false friendship and emotion management and sometimes give guys like this brief relationships with them only to callously betray their partner to go get railed by a sociopath, hardcore player that knows what he's dealing with or some other form of human scum.

In closing I'll tell you that when my dad and aunt both learned they got cancer they didn't run to me and say gee Steve how do I work that newfangled computer of yours so that I can post on forums and attention wh0re about my illness?!!!

No, rather they went to the doctor and got support from friends family and the community.

Yeah you might make the case this chick has nobody else and she can't leave the guy because of her situation but I'll say you don't really know what her situation is she could be making this all up and even if all that she's said is true she still has a choice to leave this guy and go to a battered women's shelter. You pretty much always have a choice in life if things get bad enough unless of course you live in one of those really broke down 3rd world countries and hell with all the relief work people have been doing in recent years even in those places women have a choice to not remain in their situation in certain cases.

 

[EricInTheHouse]

So go to Africa and help the missionaries you bloody fraud.

Being a phony and sneaky, coward ("nice guy") is one thing, being a phony and sneaky, coward ("nice guy") here and expecting us to buy into your Captainsaveaho pity party is just pathetic. At least try and be a bit upfront.

I'd suggest stop talking to chicks in forums for a start and go meet some real ones.

Try to be upfront?....lol.. I told that I was a bit of an "attention *****" myself, well I was assumed to be, because it seemed everyday on LoveShack I would have some other crap to be sad about. Truth was, I did have a lot on the plate and were extremely frustrated... I used the forum as a dumping ground, I was considered an attention *****, despite my telling the truth. This is why I keep "wanting" to believe this girl is REALLY having all this trouble, I made a pact with myself to NEVER deem anyone an attention *****. You never know if the person really is having this trauma despite it being a little over-the-top.


As far as talking to girls in real life rather than on forums..... I do both now, and I have a certain few on LoveShack that helped me to get to that point.. Oh and yeah ,two of them are girls...

My pity-party days are over, bro... I had enough of that life style, and got my a$$ together and did something about it.. Now I enjoy giving advice where need be.

 

[EricInTheHouse]

"I know my crap was for real, and I REALLY HATE thinking this sweet girl is just playing attention grabber, but damn it seems she is near death now at 23 years old, yet she post in the "what did you eat last thread" with a happy smily.."

Go with your gut instinct. With as supposedly many problems as she has doing something like this is just out of character. You know she's full of sh!t bro.

"I will continue to support her....she is really a nice person"

Thats how borderlines and histrionics always appear to be on the surface but appearances can be very deceiving. They are jekyll and hyde personalities, pathological liars to the core and attention wh0res above all else that will tell you many stories of tragedy in their life while appearing so sweet, gentle and broken and the sweetness act combined with the deep sob story draws the all too trusting co-dependent personality in under her spell. Co-dependent personality types are what we here on Sosuave ever so lovingly refer to as Capn Save a H0's. T!ttyman was a bit brutal with you with his post earlier but he does this out of love for the Sosuave brotherhood. He doesn't want to see you falling prey to this woman's schemes and being her knight. He wants to see you being successful and helping those people that can truly benefit from all that you have to offer help wise, love wise and otherwise. This chick just is not it. She doesn't pass the smell test and her stories have triggered

Well she could very much be just what you said, but the conflict being the internet, because people tend to let more emotion out than they would in real life(I know I do) Sometimes that makes their stories seem over dramatic at times..to the point it seems fake.. It may not be fake, and it is for real, but just enough to make you wonder and think twice about giving 100% effort to help.

Yeah I think I'm backing down and just see how this plays out... Eventually I'm dropping out of the advice giving part of it.. I'm probably not qualified for it.

 

[Lishy]

Eric, in all honesty you should try not to get to close to anyone online.

People can pretend to be whatever they want, and they do!

I have spent many years online in my spare/bored time and I have got into the whole 'cyber relationship' thing and it is so not worth it!

You will never know if she is for real or just an attention seeker so you have to just stay emotionless when you help her, I mean dont let it get to you and dont even think about sending any money.