I get numbers fine but I can't get dates!

[skinnydart]

I've read extensivly on here, and from what I can tell I appear to be doing everything right.

Since school has started I've been asking 1 girl per day for her number after a convo and so far have a 100% success rate. Right now I have the phone numbers of about 7 really hot girls, several of which almost gave it to me or suggessted something like "we should hang out sometime".

So from that I gather that I'm ok looking, can flirt well enough and generate enough interest for her to give me her number. At that point I was feeling pretty good about myself.

So then I run into one of the girls whose number I had gotten. I see her on the sidewalk coming from the cafiteria. We talk for a few minutes with her and her roomates and the convo goes like this...

Her: "My computer still isnt' working." <I work for IT Support> "I think you're doing something with it so I keep having to come back and see you."
Me: "But why would I do that when you've already given me your number?"
Her: <no responce>
Me: "Hey, so do you want to come see Red Eye tonight?"
Her: "What's that?"
Me: "A pretty awesome movie"
Her: "Um... actually tonight I'm going with my dorm to go see Fantastic Four"
Me: "Don't go see that movie, it's stupid... you should come with me."
Her: <shruggs shoulders>
Me: "Just trust me, it's dumb, you'll have more fun with me"
Her Roomate: "She always has to find out for herself"
Me: "Ok, well in a few hours you'll be telling me I was right" <smiling>
Her: "Yeah, whatever"
<I turn and walk away>

So between stuff like that happening, finding out people have boyfriends, then getting the cold shoulder, I can't figure out why all these people are giving me their number if they aren't truely interested in me. I mean some of these people I haven't even done anything. I just run into them the day after they give me their number and they seem kinda cold.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

well... for starters you shouldn't be trying to set up a date the night of.

You gotta call girls in advance before they have OTHER PLANS, like what happened above.

Plus, it seems like you kinda got too ****y and she sensed it... you gotta make 'em giggle, not sneer.

 

[everywomanshero]

Dude, no wonder

Hey, please don't take this the wrong way , but I think you come across WAY TOO SERIOUS and not very fun or interesting.
I probably wouldn't go out with you either (assuming you were a chic and approached me like that, of course).


Next time try this:

Her: "My computer still isnt' working." <I work for IT Support> "I think you're doing something with it so I keep having to come back and see you."

You: Yup. You guessed it. I suppose the only solution is to give in and go out with me tonight! (laughing)

Her: O, really now.

You: Hell ya. I;ve got looks, brains, and I know what kind of sites you go to at night! HA HA. Plus I can referee any strange guys who might try approaching you. I'll just throw my arms around you to get rid of'em

Her: "Um... actually tonight I'm going with my dorm to go see Fantastic Four"
so you should come with us."

You: Alright. We can start with that and then see where this goes.


If this fails often, suggest something she'll likely say no to, then give her a lesser involved "alternative". After the big axe was dropped, she may be more likely to accept the smaller axe without a fight.

Just some ideas. I'm not there, so I have no idea what will actually work. Try to keep a humerous tone and incoperate bumping her shoulder or whatever kind of contact seems natural as you and her laugh together.

 

[00Kevin]

TELL the girl you would like to take her out and show her a good time.

That is all you have to do. Remember you are the man. you have your s-hit in order and you know how to take a girl out. Make her feel like you are a man by acting like one. Stop acting like a girl by flirting and waiting for her to make a move. She won't do that, that is your job!


Joking about taking a girl out is bullsh-it. Women will see right through that and consider you to be a coward.


Trust me, be direct and to the point with women and you will go places. Women know how to deal with that. They know how to react to a man. They don't know how to react to a man who acts like a woman. Women need a firm hand. They need a man who can lead!

With that said, just ask the girl out! Say, "hey, I would like to take you out someplace nice." Tell her that you will call her again soon. When you figure out what you are going to do with her call her and ask her when she is free. Then make the plans with her.

If you are a serious guy then BE a serious guy. Don't ****en change who you are for anyone. If the girl flakes then find another girl. Trust me on this and be your own man.

 

[nishbuk]

When you mean school, do you mean highschool?

I think alot of the problem that I orginally had with getting numbers into dates was that somehow around campus I would see these people again. I honestly think that for cold approaches, it's best if get the number, then have no contact for 4-5 days, and then give her a short and sweet call about a date:

"Hi, XXX, this is (your name), how are you doing?"
Her: Blah blah..blee bloo blah.
"Let's go out (Date night) and (Date idea)."
Her: Okay!
"Cool. BYE."

If she says flat no, you throw her number away.
If she is busy and counteroffers right away, that's fine
If she is busy and waits for you to counteroffer, and is still hesitant, that's not good, but use your own discretion as to whether her interest level is high enough for you.

The call should be short and sweet, to the point. No extranneous small talk.

 

[skinnydart]

TELL the girl you would like to take her out and show her a good time.

That is all you have to do. Remember you are the man. you have your s-hit in order and you know how to take a girl out. Make her feel like you are a man by acting like one. Stop acting like a girl by flirting and waiting for her to make a move. She won't do that, that is your job!

Joking about taking a girl out is bullsh-it. Women will see right through that and consider you to be a coward.

Trust me, be direct and to the point with women and you will go places. Women know how to deal with that. They know how to react to a man. They don't know how to react to a man who acts like a woman. Women need a firm hand. They need a man who can lead!

With that said, just ask the girl out! Say, "hey, I would like to take you out someplace nice." Tell her that you will call her again soon. When you figure out what you are going to do with her call her and ask her when she is free. Then make the plans with her.

hmm... I thought's that's what I did. I mean when she said no, I used one of David D's lines, basicly: "You have plans?... cancel them, going with me is more important than what you were going to do tonight"

I'm in college.

About who I am. I am serious but confident when I first meet someone. Because my sense of humor is primarily dry sarcasm, I don't like using it when I don't know much about a girl. I become more sarcastic once I know stuff about her to tease.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by skinnydart
hmm... I thought's that's what I did. I mean when she said no, I used one of David D's lines, basicly: "You have plans?... cancel them, going with me is more important than what you were going to do tonight"

I'm in college.

About who I am. I am serious but confident when I first meet someone. Because my sense of humor is primarily dry sarcasm, I don't like using it when I don't know much about a girl. I become more sarcastic once I know stuff about her to tease.

ok then.. find another girl. move on. you asked her out and she said no. that is her loss not yours

 

[Dee-Zy]

you are being too hard on yourself, give yourself a break. From what I read, it doesn't seem like you are doing so bad.


first, never set up plans on the day of, as AD said, a DJ calls to set up a date, because he is busy, he has mountains to climb and bridges to build, that's why he has to make plans. not the day of, sides, most girls have a life, or want to show that they have a life.

dont insult their choice of movies/plans, they will feel you are insulting them, hell they chose to do that didn't they?



and ask a date solo, not when they are around friends or roomates or whatever. That should help you increase your chances.



this doesn't seem to be a dead end, the fantastic four chick.


gl
DZ

 

[skinnydart]

ok then.. find another girl. move on. you asked her out and she said no. that is her loss not yours

Ok, but isn't it kinda weird that all these girls (several in the past few days) are acting much colder than when I got their numbers? I mean then they seemed so excited to meet me and couldn't wait to hang out.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by skinnydart
Ok, but isn't it kinda weird that all these girls (several in the past few days) are acting much colder than when I got their numbers? I mean then they seemed so excited to meet me and couldn't wait to hang out.

that's called playing hard to get, playing with your head, or just being immature .... choice whichever pleases you best.

 

[skinnydart]

that's called playing hard to get, playing with your head, or just being immature .... choice whichever pleases you best.

Well, from what I've learned, I assume the best way to respond to playing hard to get is to just say "ok" then walk away, which is what I did. When they realize I don't need them that bad and will that quickly walk away they might come back (I called from my cell, she knows my #).

As for the immature thing, yeah, they're all freshman. I'm a senior, but 18 so they're all my age. (I started early).

 

[Pettycoat Junction]

As a WAG I would recommend not hitting on young hot girls anymore (in my experience, many are disturbed because they don't know how to handle all the attention they get yet) and picking less hot girls.

Beyond that, this is probably just part of things the way they are. We are a culture that is extremely uptight and neurotic about sexuality (sex, meeting, breaking up, marriage, divorce) and as a result so are most people who live in this society. Most people in my experience have at least one really weird quirk, and many have several. I've read that 23% of americans have some kind of mental illness (mental illness being a mental condition that makes life painful or hard or engaging in activity that appears erratic), but with dating I'd venture its closer to 90% with most people having several problems. Either they are uptight, intolerant and overly critical, hate themselves, hate others, do a 180 on a dime (mood disorders), are overly dependent, etc. Point it, don't expect the inmates at the asylum to be something they aren't. If you accept that many people have problems and are neurotic about sexuality it makes it a bit easier to deal with it.

 

[Porky]

Her room mate was there?

She may have been acting strange because she was with her friend. I would be more reserved around a girl I liked if my room mate were with me and we saw her on the street.

She also may have dodged the date idea because her roomie was right next to her. Frankly I'd be a little embarrassed if a girl blatantly hit on me and my friend was just awkwardly standing there watching the whole thing.

You should try to care less about these girls.

I:

1) get the number.
2) tell them I want to see them (yes, that blatantly).
3) see when the girl is free.
4) set up a get together.

I think 00Kevin's method is best. If you're up front with a girl from the beginning then you set a precedent for not playing games from the start. It's a good way to weed out the keepers from the flaky ones and the mature ones from the immature ones.

 

[HuuBinh]

-skinnydart-

Attraction alone will generate a lot of FLAKES.
Develop some RAPPORT with her, then take her number.

You have to understand that Attraction is "in the moment" and it generates interest the moments you are there with her.

However, after you are gone, it dies down because no deep emotional connection took place.

You can CF her the whole time and have her laughing and giving you her number, but without rapport, it's mostly wasted effort because an emotional connection through rapport, not CF COMPELS women to further desire you.

You get laid through rapport not attraction.