i get nervous on first phone calls... wtf

[white_hype]

in 20 mins i will call this chick up i met on friday (i posted about this) and in person i am fine, i easily went up to her and talked to her for a while 30-60 mins, no idea how long, i was kinda drunk, and i would NOT have been nervous had i NOT HAVE BEEN DRUNK so that is not the question.

my problem is that i have like butterflies in my stomach and i get nervous and it pisses me off, theres nothing i can really do to make it go away

wtf is this?

what do you guys do about this and how do you deal with it?

do i just need more practice? in person i am fine, on the phone i am a nervous pu$$y. wtf

 

[Master Bator]

practice makes perfect,
this much is true,
but the real answer is reality,
and how it affects you.

you like the chic alot
dont try to lie,
so when ya go to talk
ya get butterflies.

you need some help
this we all can see
but instead im online
and you're left with me

all i can say is
dont start buggin
in a week or two
you'll realized you're just being a dork who needs to realize that no matter what, reality doesnt change, you can either grab life by the balls, or be life's lil b!tch.....

the choice is yours and yours alone,
and emotions is hard to control,
so take life by the balls,
and give it a pull.

 

[white_hype]

uh ok..

i dont like the chick, i hardly know, i just want to mess aorund with her really bad casue she is so dam hot (hb8.5, which is really high on my scale)

i just laid down cause i am tired and now i feel fine and i went over things like the worst that can happen is she says she wont go out with me, and if that happens i know i wont feel bad, but im nervous anyway, there are also so many good things that can come of this.. i think i just cured myself

 

[Master Bator]

Originally posted by white_hype
uh ok..

i dont like the chick, i hardly know, i just want to mess aorund with her really bad casue she is so dam hot (hb8.5, which is really high on my scale)

i just laid down cause i am tired and now i feel fine and i went over things like the worst that can happen is she says she wont go out with me, and if that happens i know i wont feel bad, but im nervous anyway, there are also so many good things that can come of this.. i think i just cured myself

ya dont like the chic but are nervous?? ......so either you're afraid of this new "telephone" thing, or you're lying to someone here....either me, or yourself...plz let it be me, and man should never have to lie to himself the way most chics do


peace easy

 

[MrSmooth]

dude, I feel ya. Sometimes I have more trouble calling a chick that first time than the initial approach ... I always think they might be busy .... not remember who I am ... have a friend there with them giggling ....

and then I make myself think is that gonna make me not call? Hell no! Sit down, chill out, turn down the TV ... think about the things you like about her, realise girls love getting called by guys, and there you go ! You just dialled her number and you're on your way!

 

[ShortyBrown]

Originally posted by white_hype
uh ok..

i dont like the chick, i hardly know, i just want to mess aorund with her really bad casue she is so dam hot (hb8.5, which is really high on my scale)

i just laid down cause i am tired and now i feel fine and i went over things like the worst that can happen is she says she wont go out with me, and if that happens i know i wont feel bad, but im nervous anyway, there are also so many good things that can come of this.. i think i just cured myself

This statement answers your quandry. You aren't genuinely interested in her, and when you go out with her, you're scared that she's gonna see you for the little boy you are.

 

[white_hype]

well after i posted that i was still kinda nervous, but then i just said F IT, and sacked up and dialed the number

i got the voice mail and didnt leave a message

when should i plan on calling her back?

thursday? (and im pretty sure she has caller ID)

and i know the next time i call her if she doesnt pick up i will just say
"Hi xxx this is white_hype from xxx, call me back at 123445666 when you get this, later"

that sound good?

 

[becker]

I've had a problem with this in the past too. I could talk to women in person without any problem, but calling them is difficult.

I think for me the reason is that I rely a lot on eye contact with a girl and my looks to sort of back up the stuff I say (I know that sounds a bit conceited, but that's not what I'm trying to make it out to be). I'm just confident in my physical appearance, so I sort of learned to rely on it to my advantage, to make me more at ease when I'm with a girl in person. I don't have that on the phone, so I will have to rely ONLY on talking, and I think in general most guys are not great at this.

Just goes to show you how important it is to be as little on the phone with a girl as possible and find a way to get her to go out with you as much as possible.

 

[Halo]

I am sort of a telephone-phobe myself. This isn't really just relating to girls, I just hate using the phone in general. I much prefer a face-to-face meeting whenever possible. But, since calling girls is a necessity, I will echo what another poster wrote in another thread. Stand up and pace around while on the phone. It somehow causes your voice to sound more upbeat and confident. Just keep it short and sweet. You'll be fine.

 

[Hendon]

You could call a friend to talk to first. Relaxes you and warms you up. Even better if you can find a flirtatious friend to talk to.

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

The best way for me is to masturbate before the phone call and then straight away ring.

Why?

Cos the one time we men dont think about sex is straight after orgasm. Ring her up and she wont sense your desire and you will automatically be more relaxed.

 

[squirrels]

LOL...I'll tell you what I do when I get a girl's number. I'll sit on it for a few days, using this website's "3-day rule" as an excuse not to call. Then when 3 days are over, each day I'll debate the merits of calling/not callign on that day, usually saying to myself, "I'll call after blah blah blah" and I never do.

Then about a week after acquiring the number, I finally manage to get myself in a quiet place, then fumble with my cellphone a little while, laughing about how nervous I am to make the call, with that sick feeling in my stomach, then finally dial the number, thinking the whole time, "Oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this." Then she answers and I try my best to be upbeat and arrange a meeting.

She either rejects me or sets somethign up and cancels later.

The thing about the phone is that it's a tenuous link...either one of you can easily ignore the call or hang up and claim "interference" at any given time. Plus you can't read her body language, and it's very hard to be sexual.

Sometimes I get this way just calling friends. I guess the trick is to make it as much of a non-event as possible. When you get the number, don't dwell on "when you should call," or "what you should say," or "how you shoudl sound." Just decide at some random interval that you're going to call and do it.

Guys aren't phone people. They use the phone to conduct business when necessary. Women are very good at using the phone and bending its power to their whims. It's a skill we need to learn, I guess.

 

[MrSmooth]

LOL...I'll tell you what I do when I get a girl's number. I'll sit on it for a few days, using this website's "3-day rule" as an excuse not to call. Then when 3 days are over, each day I'll debate the merits of calling/not callign on that day, usually saying to myself, "I'll call after blah blah blah" and I never do.

Then about a week after acquiring the number, I finally manage to get myself in a quiet place, then fumble with my cellphone a little while, laughing about how nervous I am to make the call, with that sick feeling in my stomach, then finally dial the number, thinking the whole time, "Oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this." Then she answers and I try my best to be upbeat and arrange a meeting.

That made me laugh, exactly how it goes for me sometimes! Even as a kid I didn't like using the phone much, and that was just phoning stores and friends etc ... Now I gotta phone HBs !

Sometimes, I be sitting there after the 3 days or whatever thinking 'oh yeah, I'll call right after <insert crappy TV sitcom> is over' and then of course you don't, until its like 9pm and then its too late. Then you have to go through the same thing tomorrow ... so I quickly learned not to choke!

Actually the standing up or pacing around thing works well. Seinfeld fans can eat an apple as well Another thing I do is just think about the girl, what you like about her etc ... and sometimes you just grab the phone, dial and before you have time to choke, its ringing

 

[Bonhomme]

I've learned to expect crap

I think it's a sort of **** test gals do to see if we can keep our cool. Even some high interest ones do it, though the very high interest ones tend to do it less.

One gal gave me the 'ol "I'm on the other line, I'll call you right back," and didn't call me back. I called her a couple hours later, rather gruffly reminded her she said she'd call, and she said she didn't call me because my call was unidentified. Then I told her I was calling because I wanted to go to an outdoor classical concert, and she perked up and very enthusiastically wanted in, and we had a good date. But some plans got screwed up by the power outage, and the phone thing got weird again after that, and we haven't been out since.

Another gal blew me off in a rather gruff way when I called her, so I called her right back, and ripped her a new one in my message. Next time I ran into her she apologized, and said she was in the middle of something.

So I'm still learning the phone thing, too. Sometimes I'm "on," sometimes "off." Just keep at it, and with time you should improve.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by MrSmooth
That made me laugh, exactly how it goes for me sometimes! Even as a kid I didn't like using the phone much, and that was just phoning stores and friends etc ... Now I gotta phone HBs !

Sometimes, I be sitting there after the 3 days or whatever thinking 'oh yeah, I'll call right after <insert crappy TV sitcom> is over' and then of course you don't, until its like 9pm and then its too late. Then you have to go through the same thing tomorrow ... so I quickly learned not to choke!

Actually the standing up or pacing around thing works well. Seinfeld fans can eat an apple as well Another thing I do is just think about the girl, what you like about her etc ... and sometimes you just grab the phone, dial and before you have time to choke, its ringing

MrSmooth, you're not sounding too smooth here. heh heh j/k

Anyways, this is exactly that I've gone through in the past, and sometimes I do this as well, especially the whole sitcom/9pm thing. It's crazy how that's exactly what happens to me. I usually also just grab the phone, dial, and once it rings, I sort of loosen up. However, for me it seems like the only time I have a problem with this is when the girl still lives at home with her parents. Any other time, I don't have a problem calling. I don't know why.