I fell in love with F buddy

[PoZest]

I've known this girl for about 5 months and recently started meeting up for sex after she told me she was attracted to me.
We've met up about 6 times now and she said that she doesn't want a relationship because of things going on in her life, but wants to remain sexual friends only with no emotions.
I know this sounds perfect right, but I fell in love with her and I do want the relationship, although I obviously wont say this to her. But I don't want to ruin what we have now.
She said she is going to talk next time we meet (in two days) about her not wanting to fall in love etc.
And I am asking you guys for help on what to say.
Do I say that I don't want a relationship either even though I do?
Or try to convince her?
Thanks.

 

[Omerta]

If she doesn't want to be exclusive with you then its safe to assume she is not. You need to also have that mindset for yourself, if your trapped in a scarcity mindset then it will be much easier to fall in love with the one girl you are intimate with.

Play it cool and disciplined, do not pour out your heart... she should be the driver for monogamy not you. If she says that she doesn't want that then fine, agree with her... if you need some sort of outlet you can pull the "I love spending time with you" or which ever doctored version of it. Try to make yourself less 'available' so that she knows a relationship is happening on you own terms and not when she pulls the trigger. Spin more plates, you're not exclusive it will help ease some anxiety.

 

[TheGambino]

You remain the cool dude, let her bring up relationship stuff. Your the man, your job is to keep her interested in sex, and from what I hear your doing well.

She maybe just wants to figure out what your thoughts are since she 'wants to talk' and brings it up. Remain a cool relaxed guy, don't show emotions like I love you, I want to be exclusive blabla that's her job in my opinion, if she talks too much you grab her face and kiss her and bring the attraction to another level.

If she brings it up do whatever you want, it's about what you want.
Also I strongly recommend you: Don't get too attached to this girl, since she said 'I don't want a relationship'. F*ck her brains out, have lots of fun, and be on top of your game with her but keep your foot out of the door and don't get emotionally invested. Spinning plates is the key

 

[PoZest]

Thanks a lot good tips. An issue I have is the fact that I don't know what to say when she says she doesn't want a LTR, I do so I may struggle to just be like "yeah me neither". But I can't let her know this right?
And unfortunately no I don't really have other plates at the moment.
I work on this, do I hide from her the other plates or will it put her off telling her when I am meeting someone else?

 

[Mike32ct]

Just keep banging her hard. She might get attached to YOU over time or she might not.

Drop the romantic stuff. She's not the right girl for that.

Keep your eyes open for somebody else.

 

[TheGambino]

Don't tell her you see other girls. Just have other girls. She will notice in your attitude believe me, it's going to be all over you. If she asks just answer with maybe and give her a playful smile, be vague and mysterious.

If she says I don't want a relationship. You can agree with her, that you like it as it is know or just say shhh baby its okay, kiss her and change the subject. Probably the main thing here is: Don't tell her you want a relationship. Only if she says 'so were together know?' then you can agree.

Most important thing, don't get attached to her, see more girls, thats so important, if you got lots of girls around you, then it doesn't matter what you replie, she will feel that she has to work to keep you around. Youre attitude just gonna be indifferent and confident coz you know, you can have any fine other girl instead of her, she will fear loosing you.

 

[Omerta]

You need to know that it cannot be negotiated. If she openly states that she does not want a relationship that is being very overt and it is strong sign to tone down your own emotions.

Take a mental step back, and preferably not get to the space where she has to tell you she doesn't want a LTR. That means you are pushing her and she has ran out of ways to communicate that to you.

Play it light hearted... like "its cool I know you're waiting out for the [insert something contextually funny] guy"

No, do not tell her about the plates. The effect of spinning other plates will display itself in your attitude and behavior. If she calls you on it playfully divert and make jokes about her not wanting to be serious.

 

[Mr Wright]

And unfortunately no I don't really have other plates at the moment.

...and that's why you fell in love with her, if you only have one source you're going to cling to it like a baby chimp to it's mother.

 

[PoZest]

thanks for the help everyone these are the kind of things I need to hear before the next time I see her. Because yeah I don't want emotions to ruin what we have now as it is very good. I wont tell her I love her or that I want LTR or anything like that, I will update on what happens.

 

[Dan08]

Same situation as me brah but I'm not so far along as love, just a handful of feelings for my **** buddy of the moment. Just reign it in, keep stuff casual, bust a nut and get on with your life.

 

[trent_afc]

She said she is going to talk next time we meet (in two days) about her not wanting to fall in love etc.

Where is this coming from? Is she falling for you, and/or are you being too clingy?

 

[PoZest]

Where is this coming from? Is she falling for you, and/or are you being too clingy?

It is from nowhere really I don't believe I have came across like that I have hid pretty well. But she just brought it up the other day over text saying she is confused as recently left a LTR and hasn't had time to breathe. I wasn't pushing her to be exclusive honest.
And then she just brought up not wanting either of us to get hurt by getting feelings and just remain the FB

 

[VikingKing]

If you don't eject, your going to have a bad time.

 

[HyperAnalyze]

Make the sex more intimate and emotional. I bet she will start to fall in love. Don't bring up relationship jazz. That's her job.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Hey there! I saw this post, and thought it was worth me doing a podcast about to answer your question! Sooooo.... if you're interested in my answer to help you with your decision, click HERE!

Hope this helps!

 

[PoZest]

Hey there! I saw this post, and thought it was worth me doing a podcast about to answer your question! Sooooo.... if you're interested in my answer to help you with your decision, click HERE!

Hope this helps!

This definitely helps, a lot. Thank you for that, I read just in time.
I like what you said about "I wasn't the one who brought this up" etc. And if we do talk about the topic tomorrow I have good idea on how to be. Thanks again.

 

[VladPatton]

Listen to the guys who've been through this and don't puss out on her by telling her that you want an LTR. You're gonna loose your "benefits" faster than you can say "I have no other plates!".

Zip yer lip, and keep banging away like a broken storm door during a hurricane.

 

[Desdinova]

You ultimately have two options:

1) Get more plates
2) Ditch her

If you have other plates spinning, namely ones who are better looking, have more in common with you, or fantastic in the sack, she is not going to be this fvcking princess you see her as.

Ditching her will prevent you from torturing yourself

An issue I have is the fact that I don't know what to say when she says she doesn't want a LTR, I do so I may struggle to just be like "yeah me neither". But I can't let her know this right?

ALWAYS follow her lead when it comes to relationship talk. If she's telling you "I don't want a relationship" just say something like, "Yeah, I don't blame you! Guys are d1cks." AVOID letting her know where you stand on the subject. It's a completely different ballgame if she's leaning toward a LTR. This evening, a girl I've been seeing said "I really like you". This is a critical point where you need to keep her in her floaty positive state. I responded with "the feeling's mutual". Then I cut off the conversation. Leaving her on a positive note and wanting more gets her hamster running overtime thinking about you.

You ALWAYS want to express yourself at a lower level than she does. If she says "I love you", tell her "That's sweet!" If she says "I like having sex with you", tell her "Yeah, it's fun". With the exception of the occasional "I love you", you do NOT want to be communicating your emotions on the same height that hers are at.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

It sounds like you've learned your lesson here. FB should be kepted at a distance. Arms length emotionally, none of this talking on the phone sh*t or texting. Text or call to dicuss a meet up & bang and that should be it. Ocassional trip to the bar for drinks, that's the closest you should come to as a date. But it's not 1, you are just FBuddys remember that. 1-2 meet ups a week tops, if she wants to fvck more than sh*t she might just like you? Tread lightly.

6 meet ups & you think you love her? It takes me atleast 10 bangs with a broad before I even start to like her.
Well, atleast that's what I try to tell myself. Good luck dude!

 

[PoZest]

Hi, firstly I want to thank those who responded to my original question in here.
That day I was asking about went ahead and we didn't mention anything about relationship/feelings etc. I didn't bring it up either because it was her who said she wanted to talk about it.
So that meetup went fine, the next one however, she told me she thinks she has fallen for me. I wasn't sure how to respond, but I just sort of said that its fine and didn't make a big deal of it.
She then said she was worried as we have both came out of relationships recently and whether it was right or not. Again I wasn't sure what to say but the conversation quickly ended and we didn't get back onto it.
I am wondering how to deal with this when it is brought up again.
If she was to say something about a possible LTR or 'love', do I agree, or do I brush it off like it is a silly idea? Thanks.

I am also concerned about the non-stop texting thing. It has been this way since that day, about 3 days now, and I know this isn't a good thing to do. Especially now since the conversation isn't as interesting anymore and more like two friends would speak.
Should I just reply less frequently, or continue the occasional texts and make sure to refer to sexual things and flirty talk?