"i dont want to be in a relationship right now" WTF!! i despreately need help

[lordson]

hi guys, im in a bit of a pickle. I want to get this girl to like me.

Story starts 3 weeks ago when i met with her for lunch for like the first time in 2 years of knowing her from work. A week later i declared my feelings for her, and she also sed "i think im am falling for you". that night after a movie we make out in my car

next day, we make out again on couch
next day, we make out again with genital touching, over underwear
few days later, once again make out with two-way genetal touching, and before we had to go she stuck her hand down my pants

but always only for a bit before one of us had to leave. i saw her and called her (1-2 hours) pretty much everyday since that first outing

the physical stuff was even before we were officially "going out", so i asked her, "are we going out now", she just sed that we should only "see each other", so im thinking, okay whatever

a week later, (this week), she suddently stops become affectionate towards me, no more touching, no more kissing goodbye (only done it 4 times before). and today she says to me: things are moving to fast. i dont feel completely comfortable whenever im with you so its an idication that somethigns wrong.

the gist of this conversation, was that she likes being free at the moment, doesn't want to feel that she has to worry about me when she goes out or i have to worry about her. she just likes the freedom of not having anybody there.

she also says she thinks things feel too rushed, the fact that we didn't even go through a friendship phase first. so she pretty much bumped me back from "seeing her", to let's just be friends

i really dont wanan give this one up, im so bloody depressed at the moment. she is just acting like we are just friends

but the screwed up this is that she tells me she likes me still, but to her liking somebody else isn't enough to go out with them, theres more to it than that, im mean WTF

what the hell can i do or say to this girl to make her want me again?? i want a relationship and she knows it, not just sex

i need help. thanks alot guys

 

[BackToTheMack]

Your post is to long to read

but when a girl says "i dont want to be in realationship right now" it really means "you are an AFC and i have absolutley no sexual intrest in you and you are a loser but i dont want to hur your feelings so il just say i dont want to be in a realationship but when i meet a guy that makes me wet il go crazy for him and chase him around everywhere"

 

[lordson]

i have made her wet
she thinks im good looking and tells me when im rubbing her or kissing her "im so fvcking horny" or "im really wet at the moment"

just fukcing weird behaviour, wtf can change in one week, what do i do??

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by lordson
i have made her wet
she thinks im good looking and tells me when im rubbing her or kissing her "im so fvcking horny" or "im really wet at the moment"

just fukcing weird behaviour, wtf can change in one week, what do i do??

You are too into this girl. Although there was some serious intimate activities going on between the two of you, it doesn't mean anything. It feels damn good for sure. But that's all it is, feel good moments. What about meaningful feel good moments? Have you two actually done anything meaningful together? In such a short time (few weeks) I doubt anything of that sort actually managed to take place.

The relationship the two of you have is not special. She knows that. You don't. Maybe you should start opening your eyes to the REAL reason as to why you miss her and want her back.

Or maybe you could just tell all of us, in detailed points, the important reasons as to why you 'desperately' want to be in a relationship with this girl.

 

[BackToTheMack]

Like i said you are a AFC you probably came on to strong and she thinks your desperate now. My guess is she was intrested in you because of your looks but the intrest wore away when she realised you are AFC.

 

[arutha]

Yep, shouldn't have done stuff like declaring your feelings for her and asking if the two of you are going out. Just two of the bad things I pointed out.

You scared her away, she thinks you are too into her, the only thing you can do is start going out with other chicks and not do the same sort of stuff with them. It is moving on, but ironically it is the only possible way of getting her back. Ignore her and focus on others, shes lost her attraction.

 

[Hound_of_Love]

Originally posted by BackToTheMack
Your post is to long to read

Or your attention span is too short to read it.

but when a girl says "i dont want to be in realationship right now" it really means "you are an AFC and i have absolutley no sexual intrest in you[/B]

And yet if you'd read his post, you'd know that she did have sexual interest in him. Why bother giving advice if you're not going to read the post? Why bother giving advice when you're just giving stock answers without any context? You do display many of the qualities of black_italian...

 

[arutha]

And yet if you'd read his post, you'd know that she did have sexual interest in him

Well they all do to start with, thats why you get the impression that you are going to get a lovely relationship out of it. But then she loses it because you start acting like a wuss.

So.. He was right.

 

[BackToTheMack]

Originally posted by Hound_of_Love
Or your attention span is too short to read it.



And yet if you'd read his post, you'd know that she did have sexual interest in him. Why bother giving advice if you're not going to read the post? Why bother giving advice when you're just giving stock answers without any context? You do display many of the qualities of black_italian...

Errr in light of your post i read his and i was right!! he scared her away and she has no sexual intrest in him now so what are you talking about man?.......... from what i have seen of italians post he was barley ever right.

Oh and thanks Arutha

 

[Hound_of_Love]

Originally posted by arutha
Well they all do to start with, thats why you get the impression that you are going to get a lovely relationship out of it. But then she loses it because you start acting like a wuss.

They don't all start out like that. Sometimes they'll have no sexual interest in you at all - in which case you're pretty much screwed. This one sounds like she wanted a FB. Seems to me that if he hadn't pushed it, he could have made the transition slowly.

What I was more concerned about was the poster giving advice without reading the original post.

 

[Wyldfire]

You're suffocating her with attention and affection. There is a fine balance you need to find with women in this area. You can't not give any attetion and affection or she'll create drama and conflict to force you to pay attention to her. But you are doing the opposite...too much attention and affection. If you overdose the poor girl with attention and affection she will feel overwhelmed, pressured and will get the urge to get away so she can breathe.

If you want any chance at all with this girl then you need to back off right now and don't make any attempts at all to contact her. Wait for her to come to you. Continue to do that for the next month. If she's still interested in you and making contact after a month of you backing off and only giving attention and affection when she's reaching out for it then you can very slowly and gradually increase the attention and affection you give her IF she starts creating conflict and drama to force you to pay attention to her.

 

[WesCottII]

The advice I'd offer, is slow down. Let her get to know you, maybe when you first hooked up she was just looking for a "fling" for a want of a better word. However, as you've gotten closer, she's probably changed her perspective, and might think that you think she's easy.

Just slow down, keep meeting her and see how things progress. Also, don't be calling her all the time.

 

[Hound_of_Love]

Originally posted by BackToTheMack
from what i have seen of italians post he was barley ever right.

And from what I've seen of italian's posts, he also consistently spelled 'barely' as 'barley'. Just do a little search by keyword and username...

Whether you were right about the post or not is beside the point. You're not clairvoyant.

 

[BackToTheMack]

Originally posted by Hound_of_Love
They don't all start out like that. Sometimes they'll have no sexual interest in you at all - in which case you're pretty much screwed. This one sounds like she wanted a FB. Seems to me that if he hadn't pushed it, he could have made the transition slowly.

What I was more concerned about was the poster giving advice without reading the original post.

I saw the title and it was enough. Like i said i was right

 

[Dr Box]

Hey Guys, I am new here but I feel I can add my piece,
Lordson it definatly sounds like you came on to hard, definatley not tell her your feelings so early on and probably held back a bit on the hooking up part.........now one thing you mentioned which reminded me of myself a few years back was "she thinks i'm good looking" man a while ago I used to think all I needed was a girl to think I was good looking and I was in.......big mistake my looks attracted them but my personality drove them away (to needy trying to hump their leg on the first date) you need to forget about your looks and what she thinks of them and rely on your personality........as for getting her back man put the brakes on dont see her as much (not in a bad way just be pre occupied) next time you see her don't try and hook up with her.....just a thought hope it helps.
And in Backtothemack's defence I saw the tittle and pretty much guessed the story as well if you see enough of your mates with this kind of issue you pick up whats happening pretty quick.

 

[BackToTheMack]

The morale of this story is i was right she doesnt want you because you are an AFC and you showed way to much emotion to early. STAY HERE you might learn something.

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by lordson
i have made her wet
she thinks im good looking and tells me when im rubbing her or kissing her "im so fvcking horny" or "im really wet at the moment"

just fukcing weird behaviour, wtf can change in one week, what do i do??

if a girl ever stopped and said "i'm really wet at the moment" i'd burst out laughing.

Originally posted by Dr Box

haha Dr. Box.

I was just in Virginia Beach and along Atlantic Avenue there kept being signs near crosswalks that said "Don't block the box." The gf and i thought that was far too funny.

...and no she didn't block the box!

 

[spider_007]

Originally posted by lordson
i have made her wet
she thinks im good looking and tells me when im rubbing her or kissing her "im so fvcking horny" or "im really wet at the moment"

just fukcing weird behaviour, wtf can change in one week, what do i do??

MAYBE, she just wanted a fvck

 

[Desdinova]

i want a relationship and she knows it, not just sex

This is your problem. You're hoping to immediately jump into a relationship, but you're skipping everything that actually builds up to a relationship. LTRs develope over time. They don't develope because two people want a relationship.

You've already fvcked this one up since you've been demoted to "friends" status. Write her off. It already sounds as if you have one-itis for her.

With the next woman, take her out on a few dates, let her become comfortable around you, and let the relationship develope on its own. You can't have a LTR without having a STR first.

Keep your mindset toward having fun, and don't dwell on a having a romantic relationship. You're gonna have to be patient if you want to be in one.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

You came across as needy and desperate and she ran away from you. Best thing you can do is keep your lips zipped in future pursuits cuz this one sounds like a lost cause.