LightOfVictory
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2013
- Messages
- 31
- Reaction score
- 1
Hi guys. This is my first post in this forum. Id like to share the stumbling blocks i have faced.
I have been going out with many girls that i hae met during day game. I feel that i have no problem getting the gal, but the problem I have is what happens after that. Just the other day, i got this text from a gal
Me :hey, able to meet for dinner this coming week?
Her : nope I don't so
Me : Alright!
Her : Yepp sorry! Maybe you should try dating other girls instead.
Me : Ermm.. Why the sudden change?
Her ; Not exactly the sudden change.. It's just that, I really don't want to give you the wrong idea and waste your time.
Me :Ok ermm. Than why did u even agree to go out in the first place? And I said we r gonna be frens first.
Yeah I'm not saying we can't be friends anymore or can't meet anymore for a meal. Just thought it'll be better to tell you not to wait if there are other better girls? But of course we are still friends
her : Hey hope you don't get offended. It's just that I don't want to give you false hope while I'm not able to commit. But I've definitely treated you sincerely as a friend.
I have seen an improvement in the girls that i have gone out with. Things are less awkward. Im enjoying more of their company. But, i also realize that i am still looking outside of myself to feel fullfilled. Maybe i have become more centred with the inner body meditation and ET teachings. I feel much better, lesser fears. However, i have to admit to myself that im still looking for a gal to feel more secure. Inwardly, i feel the need to prove myself to people who have hurt me/put me down in the past. And this trend will continue as long as i meet other people who hurt me. My question is how can i inquire into this? Do i enquire into the hurts that i have? Or do i start with findig out my need for a girl.
The fear of loss is still present to a certain extent. For this gal, i felt so afraid of approacing other gals that i had to watch my back each time i approached in public.I had this fear that she will find out. And after approaching, i text her just to see if she had spotted me. (Text somethin random to check to see if she replies)
This is not the first time this is happening. Im just highlighting the more recent case. Im not sure that in the conservative society im from that gals find this method of meeting someone to be acceptable to them. A lot of them tell me its wieird that i did that but the dates are enjoyable.But after a while, ill get this type of text.
There is no point in me getting a lot of gals and losing them sooner or later.
On another note, id like to highlight what i am doing to improve my life overall.
1. Working out. I have enrolled in a gym and have been trying to get buff although i need more help with that!
2. Working on my core purpose in life!
3. Trying to go out with more guys rather than just girls only.
4. Working on my inner self. I read tolle and krishnamurthi.
5.Fousing on my studies. Im in University.
Yup. Im really into the whole BEING MASCULINE vibe in this forum. I think that its a great thing that we r learning to do things the proper way.
I would also like to highlight these problems that i encounter in my life.
1. Judging other peope. I cant stand it when i hear of guys who try to be nice to girls and chase them. And i cant understand girls who endorse that.
2. I still fear large social gatherings where i dont know many people. If my fren invited me to go out and meet with his female fren, i would decline it. And i dont talk to girls when other guys are around. I just feng sel that my value is threatened if i dont get approval. I fear being the one left out. But, when im approching, im a different guy! Im freaking annoyed at myself for not being able to just be like that always and not being assertive enough when there are other guys around.
3. I am not focusing on expanding my social circle and finding girls there. I think its a waste if i dont translate my approach skills to my social life.
4. I am dependent on the girls i am seeing to have that "cool" feeling. What happens if they leave? Do i cry and get butthurt?
5. I feel that I want the date to go well. Like im more worried with am i having a good vibe with this gal? And i want every date to go well.
I have been doing this inner body meditation recommended by tolle and i think its a great way to remain centered.
Any books that u guys can recommend me at this stage? Any advice?
Thanks!
I have been going out with many girls that i hae met during day game. I feel that i have no problem getting the gal, but the problem I have is what happens after that. Just the other day, i got this text from a gal
Me :hey, able to meet for dinner this coming week?
Her : nope I don't so
Me : Alright!
Her : Yepp sorry! Maybe you should try dating other girls instead.
Me : Ermm.. Why the sudden change?
Her ; Not exactly the sudden change.. It's just that, I really don't want to give you the wrong idea and waste your time.
Me :Ok ermm. Than why did u even agree to go out in the first place? And I said we r gonna be frens first.
Yeah I'm not saying we can't be friends anymore or can't meet anymore for a meal. Just thought it'll be better to tell you not to wait if there are other better girls? But of course we are still friends
her : Hey hope you don't get offended. It's just that I don't want to give you false hope while I'm not able to commit. But I've definitely treated you sincerely as a friend.
I have seen an improvement in the girls that i have gone out with. Things are less awkward. Im enjoying more of their company. But, i also realize that i am still looking outside of myself to feel fullfilled. Maybe i have become more centred with the inner body meditation and ET teachings. I feel much better, lesser fears. However, i have to admit to myself that im still looking for a gal to feel more secure. Inwardly, i feel the need to prove myself to people who have hurt me/put me down in the past. And this trend will continue as long as i meet other people who hurt me. My question is how can i inquire into this? Do i enquire into the hurts that i have? Or do i start with findig out my need for a girl.
The fear of loss is still present to a certain extent. For this gal, i felt so afraid of approacing other gals that i had to watch my back each time i approached in public.I had this fear that she will find out. And after approaching, i text her just to see if she had spotted me. (Text somethin random to check to see if she replies)
This is not the first time this is happening. Im just highlighting the more recent case. Im not sure that in the conservative society im from that gals find this method of meeting someone to be acceptable to them. A lot of them tell me its wieird that i did that but the dates are enjoyable.But after a while, ill get this type of text.
There is no point in me getting a lot of gals and losing them sooner or later.
On another note, id like to highlight what i am doing to improve my life overall.
1. Working out. I have enrolled in a gym and have been trying to get buff although i need more help with that!
2. Working on my core purpose in life!
3. Trying to go out with more guys rather than just girls only.
4. Working on my inner self. I read tolle and krishnamurthi.
5.Fousing on my studies. Im in University.
Yup. Im really into the whole BEING MASCULINE vibe in this forum. I think that its a great thing that we r learning to do things the proper way.
I would also like to highlight these problems that i encounter in my life.
1. Judging other peope. I cant stand it when i hear of guys who try to be nice to girls and chase them. And i cant understand girls who endorse that.
2. I still fear large social gatherings where i dont know many people. If my fren invited me to go out and meet with his female fren, i would decline it. And i dont talk to girls when other guys are around. I just feng sel that my value is threatened if i dont get approval. I fear being the one left out. But, when im approching, im a different guy! Im freaking annoyed at myself for not being able to just be like that always and not being assertive enough when there are other guys around.
3. I am not focusing on expanding my social circle and finding girls there. I think its a waste if i dont translate my approach skills to my social life.
4. I am dependent on the girls i am seeing to have that "cool" feeling. What happens if they leave? Do i cry and get butthurt?
5. I feel that I want the date to go well. Like im more worried with am i having a good vibe with this gal? And i want every date to go well.
I have been doing this inner body meditation recommended by tolle and i think its a great way to remain centered.
Any books that u guys can recommend me at this stage? Any advice?
Thanks!
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