I can't find my passion

[Durante]

I'm in a bad spot. I can't find one thing to be passionate about in life. Art and music used to do it for me. I used to paint, sketch and played a few different instruments. I've always thought I could do something and be somebody. I've always been driven by that possibility and sometimes I've even tasted a little of that success.

Then I started to notice things that really hit home in the wrong way. I was blown away by a 12 year old's artistic ability. I was extremely impressed by a teenagers musical talent. I was so appreciative of what they could do that I started asking myself why I even bothered. I started wondering what ever made me think I could be that good.

I came back down to earth after that. I realized I didn't have to be the best at everything and that it was important just to have fun. But I also realized the only reason I stuck with art and music for so long was because I wanted to be the best. That's when I lost interest in it.

These last few years I've come up blank looking for something that just entertains me enough to want to keep doing it. But nothing can hold my interest let alone something I could ever hope to make strides in. It's horrible. I've tried everything. Rock climbing, dancing, star gazing, sky diving, paint ball, snow boarding, chess clubs, hiking, bar crawling... I feel nothing. I'm so bored with life I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I'm stumped when women ask me what I do for fun.

The worst part about it all is that I'm not even depressed! I'm not sitting here ready to slit my wrists or anything. If it was like that then I'd know what my problem is.

I just miss that passion. Terribly. I don't know what else to do. I can't even get excited about NYE.

 

[happyguy2]

I would strongly suggest you pick up your instruments and art again, if only to keep you occupied and to achieve modest immediate goals (learning a new song, for instance). Your issue might be more fundamental than it seems. The 'identity' rug you stand on might have gotten pulled away from under your feet. The 'identity' thing is pretty crucial in pursuit of excellence. You Need to identify as your goal, when it feels hazy, the 200% dedication might be hard to come by. It's like the race horse whose blinds have been taken off and suddenly he sees the whole world to roam in, and not his path. It can lead to enlightenment and contentment, really. You have to be kind with yourself and trusting of your skills and intelligence. Floating about for 2 years is not uncommon.. you are doing the right things pushing and moving and exploring your boundaries (keep doing it. Try things you are intimidated by. Try things you wouldn't normally do). Soon you will narrow in on something that clicks.

In the big picture, being excellent in one thing is not the only way to live. You have the opportunity to see life from more perspectives. Lay back a little and observe the movements of your thoughts. Go deeper into yourself and note what things make you feel good and why. This can be big. You will find your groove back soon, don't be disheartened. At worst you will end up zeroing in on your core, which is not a terrible place to be. This is your time to expand and grow.

 

[reset]

Don't know what I'd do without my music. I always worked on it but never took it to the next level because I had crappy thoughts "I'm too young, it's too hard..." then that become "I'm too old... there's so much to learn...."

Well, whatever. It's never too late for anyone. This year I AM going to take it as far as I can. It's too much fun, makes me feel good, and I'm getting better at it all the time... I can see it going somewhere. I don't have to be famous but hell it would be great to have my tracks out in the world somehow. I do electronic music so there are so many different avenues to take it.

The great thing about art is it gets you in that state where time stops and you get to hang out with your true self... it turns off the thinking and you're just in the moment. If you felt that way about it before you owe it to yourself to at least try to get back in that mindset... even if it takes you in a direction that you don't exactly know yet.

 

[joekerr31]

But I also realized the only reason I stuck with art and music for so long was because I wanted to be the best. That's when I lost interest in it.

These last few years I've come up blank looking for something that just entertains me enough to want to keep doing it.

doing anything to be the best is pretty silly. theres always someone better out there. even if you become the best at something, it typically will only last for a short time before someone better comes along.

 

[JohnnyIrish]

Must you be willing to die for something before it can be considered your passion? I mean, I love music, but I wouldn't die for it. Same for art. While waiting for something to die for, you spend your time dying.

Its funny I've seen a lot of people looking for things to "die for". In my mind this is the easy way out.. The true challenge is the opposite, to find something that makes you truly want to live/feel alive.


OP:
Also don't compare yourself to others. Instead are YOU making progress? Are YOU learning/growing? Personally I read VERY slowly. If I compared myself to others who can read a book that takes me months to finish in just a single day.. I would loose focus/desire. If I let that get to me then I wouldn't have read more books in 2007 then any year previous.

BTW- Good luck to ya and Happy New Year!

 

[Mr. Me]

Then I started to notice things that really hit home in the wrong way. I was blown away by a 12 year old's artistic ability. I was extremely impressed by a teenagers musical talent. I was so appreciative of what they could do that I started asking myself why I even bothered.

It hit home the wrong way because you're thinking about it the wrong way, and thinking about it the wrong way makes you feel lousy. Feelings follow thoughts.

I know a guy who's artistic talent (he's a painter) blows me away. He's exhibited worldwide and his stuff sells as quick as he paints it. I stopped painting years ago, but do several other things in the visual and entertainment arts. Here's the point I want to make: He's blown away that I can do all these other things, and do them excellently, while he's only good at one. We all have strengths somewhere. We don't have to be as good as that 12 y.o., we have to be our own personal best, that's all. We're all different and so, we have differences to offer. That 12 y.o., I'm sure, isn't put off by the fact that he deems his personal idols as superior to himself. Picasso couldn't have cared less that Dali had better technique.

In fact, there's a Picasso quote about being the best you can be that's appropriate here. He said: "My mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the Pope.' Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso."

The best way to ignite your passion, I think, is to just do it. Go out and try different things. I speak from experience. The motivation comes afterward, not before. It only need be something(s) that interests you, that you have fun with, it doesn't have to be your life, it's just part of it.

 

[Durante]

happyguy2: "It's like the race horse whose blinds have been taken off and suddenly he sees the whole world to roam in, and not his path."

That's a great analogy. I can really identify with it too. I bought a 3 year old horse that was initially trained to race, but the original owner decided he wouldn't be able to compete. Every time I walked him through anything that resembled a gate, like the stall doors, the barn doors or the pasture gates, off to the races he would go! But he'd only run about 30 feet if I let him, then slow down, stop and look back at me with this stupid "now what?" look. Everywhere else he was just fine.

Looks like I'm doing the same thing here. I'm fine in most areas of my life, but everytime I pass anything resembling a new hobby I just want to run with it.


Craig Mills: "Ultimately, you are passionate about something: your life. You passionately want the best life for yourself. You are consumed with it. In fact, it's all you think about. This is your passion; you are your passion. Now go and enjoy yourself."

I'm not looking for something to die for. Just the opposite. I like knowing that I'm living for something.

But wow. I never thought that the search for a passion could actually be a passion in and of itself. Maybe you're right and that's it. Maybe I've realized that I'll never be satisfied doing one thing, but haven't yet realized that never being satisfied is the very thing that drives me. I can definately see myself getting comfortable that idea. Thanks, Craig!


Joekerr31: "doing anything to be the best is pretty silly. theres always someone better out there. even if you become the best at something, it typically will only last for a short time before someone better comes along."

I've always known there were plenty of people that can do what I did better. I didn't really care about that. What bothered me was the way "natural talent" was redefined in my head. When I saw that kid's art, I realized I had nearly 20 years of age on him but he had 20 years of talent on me. I knew right then that my natural talent was nowhere near what natural talent could really be. It's like doing something you've always thought was your best purpose and then suddenly realizing your best purpose was to be mediocre. It's just not satisfying enough for me.

I don't think doing anything to the best is silly at all. I think that's the best part of living, so long as you believe it makes a difference.

 

[the_absolute]

Do extreme sports (downhill mtb, surf, wakeboard, whatever is suitable in your part of the world). Get a motorbike. Jump out of a plane. Base jump. Do technical climbing in mexico...

Doing these things will not only give you something to be passionate about; your entire outlook at everything will be rejuvenated, you'll get in the best shape you've ever been in and you won't care about women at all so they will bend over backwards to get you to schedule a bit of time with them in between your busy work calender and your intense drive to constantly train and immerse yourself in daredevil sports and high adrenaline activity.

 

[Luveno]

Music and art are strange things. Although one can be skilled at playing an instrument or painting a portrait, it does not guarantee them success in life since music and art are subjective things.

Think about it this way: of Keith Richards and Yngwie Malmsteen, who's more successful?

Don't give up on your craft. If you're just playing/drawing to show off skill, you're doing it for the wrong reasons - you're doing it to impress others. Instead, do it to express you.

 

[Mr. Ballz]

Acting, Improv, public speaking. Anything that gives you an adrenaline rush. For me thats going on stage in front of people. I love it for the attention and for the rush. After getting off stage the feeling is like no other.

 

[Nygard]

Whatever you do, DONT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS.
There will be always somebody better than you.
You draw and play music for fun, not to go up in some sont of world ranking that doesnt exist. Chill up and do your best.