I can't even make friends

[patrick.de]

Hey,

I don't only have a problem with getting girls but also with simply making friends (well, actually 80% or even more of my class are girls).
University started a week ago and I don't know anybody here. There are 260 people in my class but it seems like I can't get to know anyone.
We have a group on facebook and a couple of us met a few days ago to go out. It was me and 9 girls, I had some nice chats with most of them. That was in a ****tail bar. After that we went to a club where a couple more of my class met with us and I didn't get the chance to do much besides dancing alone. I asked two of them who were at the bar with me if they wanted a shot, too. One said she has to drive home so she doesn't drink, the other said she already ordered some wine (why can't she have a shot then? She just didn't want to obviously.)

The next day in class none of the ppl I talked to the night before were interested in having a conversation with me. Some said hi, that's it.

Today there was (I guess still is) a barbeque where maybe 80 people of class attended. I showed up, tried talking to some ppl but no one seemed to be interested. I left after 20 minutes and walked past 2 girls and guy from my class who were wondering where I went, I heard the girls giggle when they continued walking. I told the guy that I had to go home.

I'm already the outsider and I don't know why. I moved to a new city and planned to get a better social circle, going to a ton of parties etc. Seems like none of that is gonna happen, nobody is interested in talking to me and I don't know why. I don't dress weird, have regular short trimmed hair etc.
Yes, I'm not very talkative, but I don't think it's that bad. When I ask people for their name they tell it, ask for mine, maybe where I'm from, that's it. Nobody ever asked me for my name first.

This isn't about getting close to women in a sexual way, I just want to build a solid social circle first. But it seems like I failed tremendously at that.

Is there any way to get out of my probably already locked role as the quiet, strange guy?

 

[Iceberg]

As you said in your 2nd sentence....you've been there for a f**king week.

I don't know about your social activities or your personality. But I know that if you're getting all spazzy just because you're not Van Wilder after a week of university, then you probably need to loosen up.

A lot of the problems you're facing are because of the pressure you're putting on yourself.

You're at University. You have access to more clubs, social activities, and groups than you'll ever have in your life. And you have the free time to experiment with ALL of them. Try a couple clubs or groups, and if that doesn't work out in a few months...THEN come back and complain. Not after a week of school.

One said she has to drive home so she doesn't drink, the other said she already ordered some wine (why can't she have a shot then? She just didn't want to obviously.)

"Mmmm nothing goes better together than tequila and Chardonnay."

Who the hell takes shots while drinking wine? It had nothing to do with you. She was intelligent enough to know how to avoid puking.

Once again...loosen up.

 

[h1v0lt4g3]

Join a group/club/activity.

In a month, if you live in a house or apt, throw a dinner party/bbq. Even if it's November and chilly. Nothing like a manly bbq.

 

[PapiChulo]

Yeah man, it takes months and even years, unless you look like a hot piece of as$ or known for something. I started to make social connections in my second year of university, my forth year (went to college first). I was also a club executive and my friend was a president, he brought me to club and from there I could make all the friends I wanted- again because he made me an executive. After awhile you start to get to know people from your faculty and a lot of them. It just takes time, but the sooner you get involved in something the better. If you wanted to have friends, you should have joined a frat, but in my city it is more like paying for friends, with mostly rich kids to play with. I also lived at home while others lived on campus. Also keep in mind that there is a vast difference from being popular and actually having real friends that will be in touch after you graduate, but for now you are just another face among thousands. Some people go to school with their high school friends and siblings- lucky bustards.