thatfeel
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2013
- Messages
- 714
- Reaction score
- 186
So, I'm 24 and she's 25 and I know I'm going to get a lot of flack and automatic "dude, what are you waiting for" comments with the age difference but I'm hoping some people can look past that.
Basically, I was apartment hunting for a while because I was sure my girlfriend wanted me out, and I found something and applied. We had a fight the other day about some butter and she yelled at me and told me she wanted me out and to find a place and that her mind wouldn't change. As it always does, her mind did change and she was like "I thought we would make it longer, I do love you".
When I ask her if she wants me to stay she says that she can't emotionally manipulate me into making a choice that wouldn't be right for me. I don't know how to make this choice. I mean I do love her but there have been things about the relationship that have sucked. I haven't really had my own room at the house for like over a year and we don't have sex that often because she's more mature and it just isn't in her modus operandi as it once was when she was younger. That part right there just sucks but I'm experiencing cognitive dissonance; if I tell her I'm leaving because I need more sex she would call me shallow and a part of me can't help but agree with that sentiment, however, at the same time, I see it as me just being human. She makes up for the lack of physical intimacy with financial tokens and other random gifts, and other nice things, but god I still have urges and I don't like resorting to porn when I have options available(even if they're not literally available).
I don't have my own room because we prepped my old room, another room, and the hallway for hardwood flooring but she underestimated the scale of the project and so it hasn't gotten done and she refuses to hire a contractor. This has led to me setting up "base" in the living room in which I don't really have any way to express my...interior designer passions, like setting up my gaming "battlestation" in the way I want and having my rack mount server and router and networking equipment all in one centralized location. The entire house is honestly just a mess.
And then there's other things. Like the biggest thing that kind of irks me about if I should stay or go is the whole "I love you and want you to stay" sentiment she has but the way she treats me about other stuff. Like yard work, the sides of the house are littered with weeds and she says that she has to treat me like a mom to get me to take initiative to go out and pull them all up. And then she says that I've been mowing the lawn but "didn't notice that a patch of lawn was dying" and then puts all the blame on stuff like this for me. I mean honestly, I didn't notice, and I'm not a fan of yard work. And then she makes comments about how she can't get me invested into the house because I don't have a sense of ownership. For example, she has 9 cats and if one of them pukes or has nasty diarrhea in the litter box, I never clean that crap up, they're not my cats, they're hers, and I don't even like cats, in my opinion they're filthy creatures. But for that she calls me heartless and says I don't care about anything but myself. Generally she just blames me for not having any sense of responsibility for things other than which are mine.
But okay, she just goes right back to saying "I do love you, I don't want you to leave". I know that there are ways in which me moving out would be good for me but there are some things I don't want to leave behind. I mean I do love her and she has introduced me to a lot of good European culture and stuff like that through shows and movies and has treated me to a lot of awesome foods that I never otherwise think I would have tried or experienced. And I would also miss her randomly buying me things. Ugh. First world problems I guess...
Basically, I was apartment hunting for a while because I was sure my girlfriend wanted me out, and I found something and applied. We had a fight the other day about some butter and she yelled at me and told me she wanted me out and to find a place and that her mind wouldn't change. As it always does, her mind did change and she was like "I thought we would make it longer, I do love you".
When I ask her if she wants me to stay she says that she can't emotionally manipulate me into making a choice that wouldn't be right for me. I don't know how to make this choice. I mean I do love her but there have been things about the relationship that have sucked. I haven't really had my own room at the house for like over a year and we don't have sex that often because she's more mature and it just isn't in her modus operandi as it once was when she was younger. That part right there just sucks but I'm experiencing cognitive dissonance; if I tell her I'm leaving because I need more sex she would call me shallow and a part of me can't help but agree with that sentiment, however, at the same time, I see it as me just being human. She makes up for the lack of physical intimacy with financial tokens and other random gifts, and other nice things, but god I still have urges and I don't like resorting to porn when I have options available(even if they're not literally available).
I don't have my own room because we prepped my old room, another room, and the hallway for hardwood flooring but she underestimated the scale of the project and so it hasn't gotten done and she refuses to hire a contractor. This has led to me setting up "base" in the living room in which I don't really have any way to express my...interior designer passions, like setting up my gaming "battlestation" in the way I want and having my rack mount server and router and networking equipment all in one centralized location. The entire house is honestly just a mess.
And then there's other things. Like the biggest thing that kind of irks me about if I should stay or go is the whole "I love you and want you to stay" sentiment she has but the way she treats me about other stuff. Like yard work, the sides of the house are littered with weeds and she says that she has to treat me like a mom to get me to take initiative to go out and pull them all up. And then she says that I've been mowing the lawn but "didn't notice that a patch of lawn was dying" and then puts all the blame on stuff like this for me. I mean honestly, I didn't notice, and I'm not a fan of yard work. And then she makes comments about how she can't get me invested into the house because I don't have a sense of ownership. For example, she has 9 cats and if one of them pukes or has nasty diarrhea in the litter box, I never clean that crap up, they're not my cats, they're hers, and I don't even like cats, in my opinion they're filthy creatures. But for that she calls me heartless and says I don't care about anything but myself. Generally she just blames me for not having any sense of responsibility for things other than which are mine.
But okay, she just goes right back to saying "I do love you, I don't want you to leave". I know that there are ways in which me moving out would be good for me but there are some things I don't want to leave behind. I mean I do love her and she has introduced me to a lot of good European culture and stuff like that through shows and movies and has treated me to a lot of awesome foods that I never otherwise think I would have tried or experienced. And I would also miss her randomly buying me things. Ugh. First world problems I guess...
Gave me some speech about how she normally dated older guys or whatever, basically went through one ear and out the other. Things started out good the first 2 months. But, later on I started noticing things... Even though I did like her, I ended up having to DUMP her!! Things werent going my way and some sh!t just wasnt working. Anyways, Its our D@mn life too Don Juan! Do what is best for YOU! There is plenty of fish in the sea, the next one will be all over you!
