I can get phone numbers easily enough, but...

[Justaguy254254]

it seems I have troubles getting the girls in questio to actually see me a few days later.

I was at the local bookstore and there was a hot girl sitting at the table doing homework. I had a notebook with me, and I was writing some stuff. I brought it with me as I approached her, and said she distracted me from my writing and talked with her for a while. I could tell she wanted me from the way she was looking at me... huge pupils, shy smiles, fixing her hair, all the good signs. She did mention a boyfriend, but that was said without any feeling and I just continued talking to her. Anyway, I got her phone number.

I was at the same place the next day, since I was killing time before hanging out with a friend, and engaged a girl who was looking at some books and got her number as well.

Now... for the first one, I texted her the next day and said it was nice talking with her, and that sometime I'd have to show her what I was writing. I called the second one a day after I talked with her as well, and left a brief message saying it was nice to talk with her.

I know some guys say that it is not good to message or call right away, but in the past I have waited too long (I think) before responding, so in these cases I thought I'd send a quick response the next day.

Anyway, I didn't hear from either one for a day... the next day was Friday, and during the afternoon on a break from work, I called the first girl and said that I'm going to visit one of the art museums and she should go with. No response again.

I don't really think I moved too quickly...after all, if she liked me ( and I'm 100% sure she did when I was talking with her. I was going to try to hang with her immediately that night, but while she was talking it was clear that she already had stuff to do) then it shouldn't matter if I contact her soon after meeting her.

This seems to happen to me quite a bit. The numbers I get are real, but the girls don't often call back. Perhaps I should try calling a couple more times, but not leave any messages... with the idea that I'll only talk with her instead of talking to a machine? Hmmm. There are plenty of others of course, but it is rather frustrating when I know this girl should be mine and for some reason things are not quite there.

So...any good advice or tips would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

[viking22]

Hey man

Do not go for the meet too soon. Just flirt with them on the phone, test the mood. If they are not responding leave it a few days and try again. When they are flirting back on the phone casually suggest a meet. I'd recommend just a coffee as that way she does not have to commit to spending a long time with a guy she hardly knows.

If first girl says she has a boyfriend I'd leave it. If a girl says it in a club you can ignore it because chances are if she's clubbing without him she is planning on cheating on him anyway. But if she says it in a bookshop its probably not worth pursuing it.

 

[saber]

I am having the same problem..well sorta

i was getting tons of numbers probably my 3 best sets per sarge
but not getting any tangible results <- this was my problem

i was seeking results at any cost

for a long while i wouldn't number close period!!!


I just experimented with more techniques and can safely say that this helped me too improve...i made a lot of rookie mistakes like...closing too soon, innability to walk away, TRYING to get her instead of just experimenting and treating her like any stranger, ignoring a cue in the convo (imo if a girl wants to keep you as a possibility she will not mention a bf)

now i can get numbers and a hang out but still have trouble creating a really high IL, so take my advice for what it is

there is no solid rule for how long to call its all practice and experience

try sending a very intriguing text message if they dont have your number and screw around a little to build some Il before you try to hang with them
this seems to work 4 me

 

[Mr. Me]

I could tell she wanted me...
I know this girl should be mine

Evidently, they don't agree. That's your ego talking. That ego is going to thwart you in dealing with this, so you have to learn to side step yourself.

I know some guys say that it is not good to message or call right away, but in the past I have waited too long (I think) before responding, so in these cases I thought I'd send a quick response the next day.

The answer wasn't to call more quickly.

The ones that didn't go anywhere when you waited some time to call them, weren't going anywhere anyway. It wouldn't have mattered when you called.

Don't call/text the next day. It kills their interest.
There's no need to tell them how nice it was to talk with them.
Don't leave messages/text. You don't speak to machines. Women screen calls.
Never announce your intentions to take them out.
And don't ask someone out on a Friday for later on that same day.

When they mention they have a boyfriend, that usually means "not interested". Also understand that probably half these girls are giving you their number just to get rid of you. Another percentage like the ego stroke of being asked their number. They're ACTING like they like you because they don't know if you're some crazy stalker type dude that will throw a fit if they turn you down. It fools guys because the guys' egos say "Well, she wouldn't have given me her number if she wasn't interested".

I get the sense that though you're getting numbers, you're not getting real interest. So I think a major part of what's going wrong has to do with whatever you're doing when you first meet these women. If you can step aside your ego, you'll be able to reflect on that impartially to help figure this out.

 

[Justaguy254254]

Evidently, they don't agree. That's your ego talking. That ego is going to thwart you in dealing with this, so you have to learn to side step yourself.



The answer wasn't to call more quickly.

The ones that didn't go anywhere when you waited some time to call them, weren't going anywhere anyway. It wouldn't have mattered when you called.

Don't call/text the next day. It kills their interest.
There's no need to tell them how nice it was to talk with them.
Don't leave messages/text. You don't speak to machines. Women screen calls.
Never announce your intentions to take them out.
And don't ask someone out on a Friday for later on that same day.

When they mention they have a boyfriend, that usually means "not interested". Also understand that probably half these girls are giving you their number just to get rid of you. Another percentage like the ego stroke of being asked their number. They're ACTING like they like you because they don't know if you're some crazy stalker type dude that will throw a fit if they turn you down. It fools guys because the guys' egos say "Well, she wouldn't have given me her number if she wasn't interested".

I get the sense that though you're getting numbers, you're not getting real interest. So I think a major part of what's going wrong has to do with whatever you're doing when you first meet these women. If you can step aside your ego, you'll be able to reflect on that impartially to help figure this out.

I accept what you're saying. These were cold approaches, so to me it's a numbers game in getting the numbers. Lots of approaches, lots of numbers = occasional actual success.

I can say with high degree of certainty that the first, younger girl definitely thought I was attractive and was into the way I approached her. But, as we see, not enough to actually call me back. Oh well. The 2nd girl was rather indifferent, so I wasn't expecting much from that. I do notice these things.

The last girl I picked up was through a cold approach, so it does work. Just takes a lot of effort...I admit my game is not the strongest in the world, but at least I make a good try at talking to an attractive girl when I see her. More than most guys are willing to do, so I'm reasonably proud of myself. heh.

I do appreciate your tips about the calling aspects though. You are correct, I shouldn't have left a message for the first girl about something specific Saturday or Sunday afternoon. I'll wait a week and call once more and try to actually have a conversation with her again. If not...there will be other numbers to try.