I can be violent towards women..

[cola]

I have a temper. It's not cool, it's not normal, it's not manly
But it's there. I have a really bad temper towards females. My mom abandoned me a bunch as a kid and left me with grandparents for months at a time whenever she had a new lover.
For this reason, I CAN NOT play these games with females.
If I find a female is ****ing with my emotions I know I'm capable of slapping her face off.
I know it's not cool and I ask you guys not to judge me just like I don't judge anyone else here.

I don't want to be like this but I am.
I haven't yet hit a woman but I have done things like slap drinks out of womans hand for perceived disrespect.. A busted a window for perceived disrespect and giys

I know if a woman was to come to my face after a LTR and tell me she cheated I'm capable of punching her like a man.
I thought about just dropping out of dating scene for this but obviously we all like Coochi right?
So what can I do?

Some of the I have read about you guys let females get away with **** like cheating or using you for a fool I just can't.. Its not safe for me it's not safe for her. It's just not safe to play around with me. Am I damaged permanently?

 

[skinnyguy]

Is this a bragging post?

 

[cola]

Why you say that skinny?

 

[Albatross953]

As a guy whose wife stepped out, I get the anger. But you need to put a lid on that and vent other ways.

I look at it as self respect. Women are nuts. But I control my actions, they don't. If a chick disrespects, cheats, acts like a child then that's on her not me.

My principles dictate what I do with my life. And letting a woman provoke a physical reaction from me is not one of my principles.

 

[cola]

I guess I get angrier than you. I get like so overwhelmed with it I have to let it out.. Screaming, breaking something.. I know my testosterone level is high could it be hormonal? Or is it what I went thru with my mom? Like if I was married like you and she stepped out she better get the **** away from me fast..

 

[GS750]

You have an anger management problem if you scream and break stuff when you get mad. Look at most guys in prison, they have the same issue. Can't control themselves when they get pissed off. Poor self control leads to big time problems. Try counting to 100 and then back down to 0 when you're temper flares up. Sounds simple but it's effective.

 

[cola]

Gs750 what's the solution? A shrink

 

[GS750]

Don't know if you need a shrink. I used to have a major temper issue when I was a younger guy. Got it from my dad I guess, he's got a short fuse. I've never hit a woman obviously, but I did get into a few fist fights in my younger days. Not proud of that...that I let another guy provoke me into a situation where I actually had to physically fight them. I put my fist through walls on several occasions, but the last time I did it was about 12 years ago and I ended up hitting the stud in the wall and fvcking up my hand. I decided I needed to get my temper under control, my fuse was too short. So when I got pissed off, I'd count to 100, then back down to 0. It worked for me. I'm calmer these days, I'm a little older, I don't get blackout pissed off at the drop of a hat. You may have what's known as the 'warrior gene"...but that's still debated. Some doubt of it's existence, others say it makes some guys more likely to be violent. But you're still a young guy. If you have an anger management problem then you need to get that under control.

 

[cola]

I don't know about the warrior gene. But i do know I will get violent.. 0 to 100 real quick to quote Drake. . If i detect it's an eminent threat or in feel like you are deliberately playing with my intelligence I am capable of harming you.

But the weirdest **** is.. It turns women on..
For example this chick was being a real *****. She was at MY house taking a bath in MY tub using MY soap while burning MY candles while sipping wine I BOUGHT and when I tried to engage her gave me silent treatment and said " I don't feel like being bothered" so I smacked the wine bottle into the wall and it shattered.. Could have been bad actually because it could of went in her eye. Then I go laydown steaming mad almost in tears because I feel bad I snapped.. and 45 seconds later she dries off and initiates sex immediately.. Like wtf guys

 

[LiveYourDream]

It's great that you are so self aware and can talk about your experience with anger openly. Many men can't or won't.

Until you go get professional help, every moment, you are playing roulette with a jail sentence.

Be the wise man and choose a life without regret. Go get yourself some help before someone triggers you more than ever, and your life is sentenced behind bars.

I have no idea what kind of professional specializes in anger management. Obviously you are a smart man and can find someone. It won't take too long and YOU will know if someone is REALLY helping you and making a difference, through your own experience.

Invest in yourself.

Don't gamble your life. If a stranger has a bad day and says something to you on the street or in a bar, in one moment, your life could forever be changed.

Don't be a victim to your own anger. Choose to get help and be its master.

 

[mangotot]

Seek help. You certainly do not want to get in trouble with the law.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

To be fair, Cola, I see myself as a pretty clean living guy. But indeed, it has happened to me too. I ended in a cell for a night after getting in a fight with my ex. Long-story short, it was 6 of one, half a dozen of the other. But still I am well aware that my reactions were uncalled for. Just as hers were.

I understand the anger and the rage and the red mist. I think it is something that only a few experience and understand. Like uncontrolled fury. I am still learning to control it. It gets easier. The best thing to do is know that you are Dr Jekyll and he is all you ever can be. Read the book. It helped me understand human nature no end. Especially my own. Well done for bringing it out. It's more than I have been able to do until now.

PM me if you need man.

 

[cola]

Thanks guys I appreciate the feedback. And I will pm you if need be The Monkey King

 

[Poon King]

This comes to mind:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=136Cija1u9c

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

We gotta learn what our triggers are. Mine are chemical - booze and weed smoke. So I avoid them. Well, at leats the latter. Thinkin of quitting ma job too as too much stress gets me going to. Found myself physically shaking at work recently. I know that's the time to walk away. Just know when to walk away. Before you end up losing it. That one night is all I'll ever need to know. Never will you ever feel more alone. Don't ever go there.

 

[cola]

Some times I feel like domestic violence is justified... Just hear me out. Females are mentally manipulative and men are physically strong. If women had to deal with the threat of physical pain they would think twice before they do some of the **** they do..



If I was a judge and a guy came before me and caught his wife about to blow a guy and he smacked the **** out of her I would not sentence him to jail.
I'm just saying..

Monkey King I also get the shakes before I blow the gasket. I wonder if we have a similar problem? But weed calms me.

 

[Moroder]

Some times I feel like domestic violence is justified...

We may all think that sometimes. But the point is to NEVER act it out. True, it is way more easy to smash the furniture, yell around and punch people's faces than to stay calm and walk away.
If you seek out a good behavior therapist, I am pretty sure that he'll be able to rewire your temper in maybe 3-6 months. He will provoke you much like an evil a$$ b!tch would, but in a controlled environment, and this will enable you to flip the circuit breaker so you don't blow up. You'll have this fixed in no time!

 

[asa_don]

lots of trolls posting here these days, another one to ignore.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Some times I feel like domestic violence is justified...

It's not.

Just hear me out. Females are mentally manipulative and men are physically strong. If women had to deal with the threat of physical pain they would think twice before they do some of the **** they do..

Granted. But that doesn't mean we stoop to their level. It's equal to a school ground fight, screaming, 'Well she started it.' Unfortunately that doesn't stand up in court.

I spoke to a couple of my mates who are coppers a while after my incident and they said that yes, the woman often comes off physically worse. But when they look in to the situation, it's the guy they actually sympathise with; once they have met the woman themselves. I can imagine that's what happened in my case. She was absolutely oblivious to how obnoxious she was/probably still is. My Dad also said to me after, 'Personally I never liked her'. As you say, there are no physical signs of psychological abuse.

The bigger man walks away, and lets this silly little girl have her tantrum. Believe me, the more you ignore it, the more stupid she'll make herself look. My ex took to emiling my friends, family, even calling my place of work, slagging me off to my boss. If I hadn't had such great people around me, I'd have lost everything if she'd had her way. But we all ignored her, like she needed; like a spoilt child. It's not your job to teach her right from wrong; it was that of her parents. But of course mother was never strong enough and father just treated her like the Disney Princess.

I simply feel pity now, which is sometimes a harder emotion to deal with, because it means identifying with the other person's issues as well and understanding why they act the way they do.

If I was a judge and a guy came before me and caught his wife about to blow a guy and he smacked the **** out of her I would not sentence him to jail.
I'm just saying..

But it won't be you. Itmay well be a woman. And let's just say you probably don't have the money nor influence of Pistorius. How far would you let it go? How do you know you won't get used to the idea and end up killing someone because you never learnt to control it in the start. Listen to these guys, get some help. I never did, but I had a great support network, like I said and I threw myself in to the rest of my life instead. I still have blips of anger every now and then. But I have learnt what my triggers are and I take myself away from the sitch.

Monkey King I also get the shakes before I blow the gasket. I wonder if we have a similar problem? But weed calms me.

Yeah, I though the same about weed. But of course after every high comes a low; as light follows dark and life carries on, we can't rely on chemicals 24/7. Better to seek sober methods to address the issues first and then enjoy the chemicals recreationally, which you will more once you are calmer.

Once the shakes descend, that's the point to walk away. Even if someone tries to block your path, which they invariably will, just leave. Smoke a cig. Go for a drive. Just leave that situation. It takes times to learn. If you find it happening over and over with the same person, may be think about walking away for good.

Personally I can't stand drama. I've seen enough of life to know that arguing about sh!t and shouting our mouths off is f*cking pointless. So I just avoid the drama queens as much as possible nowadays.

I don't wanna say not all women are like that; but there are women out there who wont push your buttons in that terrible destructive way.

I might have limited access over the holiday, but I can pick up PMs after Sunday. Stay out of trouble!
...

 

[ColonelKilgore]

Any reasonable healthy male will get angry with women. Most of them are fvcked up in this or that way. But don't make yourself the villain, man. Control yourself. You know the law is on her side ffs. It's not worthy of you.