It means that you feel like something is being taken away from you.
In the case of jealousy, you feel threatened that you will lose something. You dont want another to enjoy what you may feel entitled to.
Since you feel that she is scarce, and you will lose a lot if she's with someone else, you feel more anxiety and threat since you dont know how to handle these types of circumstances.
You cannot cling too tightly to people. You will suffocate them and smother them. You cannot also be on top of them monitoring everything they do.
You have to learn to just trust them.
If they betray your trust, then you know, and you move on if you feel you dont tolerate disrespect like that.
If you desire her soooo much that you will set aside your values and principles, then you become a door mat. Since you cant assert your boundaries against her behavior.
When we feel our resources are scarce (love, emotions, time, effort, intelliegence, ideas, happiness, money, etc) we tend to act in very greedy ways. We tend to not give out, and expect others to give to us. And at some point, we may become cynical , and start to expect poor class and poor behavior from everyone.
Personal boundaries are our way of asserting our values.
ie. I dont tolerate people being late when we've set aside a certain time to meet, and we agreed to it.Or violate a verbal agreement of any kind, when we shook hands and agreed to it. Violate that, and you dont get anymore of my resources. Thus, I then tend to lower them from my importance list so to speak. They get less of me, since they dont appreciate my time, money, emotions, mental and emotional well being, peace of mind, etc...
Also, certain situations like someone tries to get me to react negatively is them trying to poke a hole in my boundary and get me to break.
Or someone acting rudely. I try to not let these people disturb my mental peace of mind. My well being. if they behave rudely, I dont let them 'take' my well being, and try to stay centered and not lash out in vengeance. But I make mental note of their character. And know not to trust them with anything important of mine.
Howabout you're out with friends,and youve got a guy who's a moocher. And he expects you to pay for things for him? A lot of guys may give in and not try to lose him as a 'friend', or not want to get his dispproval. So they will give in, and pay for the other guy, even though they're under no obligation to pay for anything for that guy.
To stand up for yourself and not be taken advantage of, is asserting your personal boundary too.
So too is mainatining calm, and cool presence in difficult circumstances.
If you value your resources of well being, then you wont spend energy worrying about someone's approval of you, or what they think of you, or how are they going to react to you, etc..
SO you work on maintaining your peace of mind and well being.
You dont just let anyone have access to it.
You manage it.
Its all about our Values.
What do we Value?
Peace of mind.
Calmness and tranquility.
Money
Time
Love
Self Respect and Self Esteem.
etc...
When we feel these things are scarce, we get irritable.
Because our needs arent being met.
And if our needs arent being met, we tend to lash out in vengance and anger, since we feel so much resentment for not getting our needs met.
But we are responsible for that.Not other people, or life, or nature or anything.
Just us.
So it is irrational to be mad at another for not fulfilling us.
Thus, we begin to look at our resources and wellbeing rationally, and intelligently.
And we begin to take steps to monitor our resources, and manage them.
If we feel we have plenty of Love to give, then we dotn tend to act irritable or impatient. We dont lash out. And we can be nice, forgiving, tolerant, and emathic, understanding, and compassionate of others and their conditions.
But when we feel our needs arent getting met, we we will fight back, and try to cause hurt in others, to compensate for the hurt we feel. The lossof power and control drives us to hurt others to give us a sense fo temporary power. The power to hurt another.
But that is all illusion. Since there is and always be enough Love for everyone.
I'm sad!
