I asked a girl out but she said the way I asked was wrong?!

[Mechwarrior13]

I was talking to a girl the other day in my class. I've been talking to her for about two weeks. We were having a conversation the about a week ago and I asked her if she was free on friday and if she would like to go out with me. She said no and I was ok with that but I asked her why yesterday and she gave me some **** about going out with her would've depended on how I asked, but that the way I asked was bad. I was like what the ****, and then she was like "You should never ask a girl out directly. You shouldn't say 'would you like to go out with me'...that's bad". I was like "Ok, but then how the hell you ask? Am I supposed to use telekenisis or something?" I then pretty much said she was stupid and she was pissed at me for the rest of the day. I don't really care and dont intend on talking to her anymore anyway.

So whats your take? And did I do anything wrong? I don't think I did as I made my intentions clear... I wanted to go out with her. I've gotten dates before asking the same way so I don't know what happened.

 

[DJDamage]

You really think this girl would tell you the truth?! "You didn't ask me right" was a B.S move to give you the runaround and not give it to you stright that she isn't interested in you. You should never ask a girl why not because you would never get a truthful answer.

 

[DavenJuan]

Damage is right...never ask a girl WHY she said no.. two things wrong here..

1. You ASKED her if she wanted to "hang out this weekend"...never ASK.

"So im gonna give you a call saturday and catch this movie i heard was great..you rather go at 7 or 9?"

2. you shouldnt have asked her what you did wrong for her to say no. looks desperate.

having said all that...atleast you asked her. now ..her loss

 

[Interceptor]

Next time , work on getting something that interests YOU out of her.

Say you and she are talking, you ask her about somethign that interest you, and she acknowledges that she is indeed interested in said topic.
You then , show your increased interest in her (show she has earned you interest now, show it through body language) and then say something to the effect of "We should get together sometimes and continue this conversation." THen stay silent, buitkeep smiling, and keep warm eye contact towrads her. Read her body language, and her tone of voice.
According to what she says, she will let you know ifyou'r in or out.
Most girls will say "Oh yeah! Definitely! We should hangout sometime!" (bingo!) There's your opening.
"Great!What's your phone number?"

Make her EARN You INTEREST! Then it will feel natural to YOU AND HER.

Build off of that.
Do not just ask a girl out just because you two were"talking". You cannot go from blah blah blah to>>>>>Hey, wanna go out with me?
(Note: Even this is not an iron clad rule. With some women their Interest Level is so sky high upon meeting you, that they will jump at the chance of going out with you! Sometimes they will offer their phone number first.)

This is weird. This also shows lack of knowledge in interacting with females through attraction and seduction.

You're going from zero to sixty and then expecting her to respond favorably.
You need to work on building off of initial attraction. Then learn how to find out if YOU ARE Interested.


A girl will often talk to anyone. Just because she's "talking" to you, does not mean she's interested.
If you're attracted, then find out if She IS INTERESTING.
If she is interesting, then try to get something out of her that is interesting to you so you CAN NATURALLY ESCALATE into "asking her out".

 

[Play the Game]

Well at least she told you the truth. I disagree with Damage. You never ask girls out directly, you don't want to break the frame you have with her. When you do that you freak her out. You want it to flow naturally and just be a part of having fun with you. Of course if you're not having fun with her then what's the point of asking out on a date? it's just going to be awkward and uncomfortable, which is why girls turn you down.

I'm guessin you've ever had a girl ask you out directly because you'd know how uncomfortable it is to be put on the spot to decide. The friendship should transition smoothly into the two of you having fun by yourselves and then into something more....

If you start off with everyone knowing what's going to happen it's no longer fun, hence it's the wrong way to ask a girl out but so many guys do it and they fall into the "free dinner" trap. Just be happy she has morals and didn't use you for a free meal.

 

[DavenJuan]

originally psoted by Play the Game
You never ask girls out directly, you don't want to break the frame you have with her. When you do that you freak her out. You want it to flow naturally and just be a part of having fun with you

WRONG!!!! ALWAYS directly/ forwardly/ aggressively "tell" her out. dont ASK.

women dont know what they want. the are indisicive. tney say one thing and mean the complete opposite sometimes.

my personal opinion and experiences have told me that women want you to be the MAN. dont ask "hey , do you mind, um.. can i .do you like...blah blah"

be a man, no what you want, and go get it.

 

[Play the Game]

WRONG!!!! ALWAYS directly/ forwardly/ aggressively "tell" her out. dont ASK.

women dont know what they want. the are indisicive. tney say one thing and mean the complete opposite sometimes.

my personal opinion and experiences have told me that women want you to be the MAN. dont ask "hey , do you mind, um.. can i .do you like...blah blah"

be a man, no what you want, and go get it.

I agree women don't know what they want, which is why you can't ask them out directly you have to make THEM want YOU...

However, just being an "alpha" and telling people what to do isn't going to get you very far... unless you're dealing with an LSE chick.
You need to have some charm too. Like interceptor said, be the prize.

 

[DavenJuan]

let me try and explain what i mean...

i agree with play the game on having "charm" ...you have to be mysterious to a degree... i dont mean go up to a women and just tell her "me man, me want you!"... however, dont beat around the bush either. Dangerous road to LJBF and Mr. Nice Guy.

if you see something you want. Be charming, show interest. let her KNOW that you are into her. That doesnt always mean verbally. There are many ways you can tell her you want her through EC, Kino, etc. Im not saying be a openbook, but dont miss out on opportunities by being afraid to be a man. we as men have needs, embrace them and dont be afraid of your sexuality

 

[DJDamage]

Well at least she told you the truth. I disagree with Damage. You never ask girls out directly, you don't want to break the frame you have with her. When you do that you freak her out. You want it to flow naturally and just be a part of having fun with you. .

Your missing the whole point. It wasn't the way he asked her that mattered here, it was his entire game as a whole that was at fault. Granted "would you like to go out with me" is AFCISH, however when a girl really digs a guy she would have said yes. The fact remains that this girl wasn't really digging this guy prior to his asking her out on a date and no suave line would have helped.

 

[Mechwarrior13]

I have had girls ask me out or girls tell me someone likes me but they are scared to approach/let me know. It doesn't happen all the time, but it has happen about 4 or 5 times, some older then me. I imagine it must be nerve wracking, but I have heard so many theories on how this subject (what to say, how to act, etc.) that it's left me confused.

I asked what the reason was because I was aware there was no possibility of anything happening down the road. It wasn't desperation...her rejection didn't phase me and frankly I am a person that doesn't really care whether girls like me or not. I see them everywhere and I know in time I will get one so no big loss. I simply asked because I wanted to know seeing as I had nothing to lose. As a poster mentioned, when she started giving me the run around and was going to give me that "we can be friends" routine...I don't want to be her "friend", hence I called her an idiot. This girl is hot but she's notorious for being an attention ***** and dating dudes that are like 8 years older then me and having $ so believe me, I expected it. However, I figured its experience so why the hell not try?

The suggestions here are good and thank you for them. I can see where I should change my approach a bit. I am going to try to use these methods from now on. Good thing I learned about it now then later.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Low interest in her part. The more she's into you, the less "How you ask" will mater to her. The more she'll counter-offer if she is busy, and the more willing she will be to do her part to get together with you.

I would suggest instead of just not talking to her, you use the opportunity to tease her and make fun of her for being a social dork. Some ****y/funny would be nice in this situation; not necesarily because you want to sarge her, but just for your entertainment and to see how she changes her tune.