I am starting to despair with this, please help

[Createthemindset]

Hi all

I do not know what to do, i can not be flirtateous with a girl, i can't and i have wrecked so many good oppurtunities because of it, i feel like smashing something. I simply can;t bring myself to do it - why not? BECAUSE I NEVER HAVE, yes thats right, i have managed to go this long without doing it. WHY? well firstly, do not get me wrong, i am not a virgin and not ugly BUT i never did as i was growing up becuase i was insecure.

Now, i am not with most things but when it comes down to this - i can;t break through it, i feel soo pathetic when i wreck chances with girls that are really hot, and i do, i get these chances due to me being good looking and a good person to be around but i can never take it to the next level. I simply dont know what to do.

I have read loads of posts, but none of them can break through with me on this. I am NOT willing to sleep with anyone (i know that i will get flamed for this but i do think whom one sleeps with is a measure of how they value themselves - while sex is a physical thing not a holy one or anything like that, it does mean something, even if it is a ONS)

Can anybody relate to this, been through this or have any advice - i am sorry for posting such an AFC post but i feel like i am at the end of my tether

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

what r u insecure about?? u must know this to move on. it obviously is not your looks since u attract women - could it be your conversation - does the cat have your tongue? You can talk about the weather with a girl but not anything romantic? my thinking is that you lack the balls to tell the ladies what is in your true nature - that is u want to pursue them romantically. Have 3 or 4 different pick-up lines already prepared to ask them if they would be interested i- and take it to a higher level - r u too shy or embarassed? quit trying to b nice to be around with and start being nice to be with in a romantic sense! The rule of nature - men r the initiators - women love to b hit upon (romantically not physically speaking) - trust me u r doing them a favor by being a man! when u get rejected a few times u did your job - do not fear being a man. Your name says it all don't "Create the mindset" - "Have and be the mindset"- and bring it into existence - from your mind into reality! MATRIX! Release all fear - all doubt - all disbelief.

 

[DonCruez]

I solved this problem years ago... with alcohol.

Get a light buzz and go for it. After a couple of times you won't need the alcohol anymore.

Another good way to desensitise yourself: start acting flirty with girls you already know but not interested in.

just my .02 €

 

[chlywly]

You can't because you havn't? Do you realise if everyone had that mentality that NOTHING!!! would happen, no discoveries, no progressions, you probably wouldn't even be able to walk as a child!

How do you learn something new? by trying and by failing, by learning from your mistakes, and TRYING AGAIN! until one fine miraculous day, you FINALLY GET IT.

Now shut up, get out there, and DO something about it.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and until you try something don't come back.