I am so ****ing pissed off with myself

[bob246]

Please read it all everyone. I am in a real bad mood at the moment. I just can not motivate myself! I can not believe how ****ing lazy i am. I wake up most of the days thinking i am going to workout today, set my goals, go out and do the things that will help my 'self improvement', etc. Instead i end up sitting on the ****ing computer or on the tv doing **** all!!!! .

Women are the last thing on my mind at the moment but its obviously my long term aim but i just am not getting off my ass and doing anything about it. Im so used to being lazy i just cant get out of it. I have realised because its the easy way out im content with it this way, its like i dont want to go through the hard way and do all that work, i am ****ing lazy

I have read a bit of the DJ bible to motivate myself but i know i am going to wake up tommorow sitting on the computer all day. I need someone to just say it to me directly, please just say something to me! motivate me! diss me! any wise wisdom! say anything!

 

[Microphone Fiend]

1) Stop jacking off- It helps you stay focused

2)Work out/exercise- It releases beta endorphins that make you feel good about yourself, and try new things

3) Try one step at a time- Sammo had good post about breaking down goals in the HS section about 2-3 pages back, look for it

 

[bob246]

You dont understand, i want to workout, etc to self improve myself but my mind is just not right. Its like i like the easy way out, i can not be bothered with putting in the hard work. My energy level is like 1, its a miracle if i get out my bed before 2!!!!

 

[Crank_It_Up]

get a workout partner.. it's much easier to make it to the gym on a regular basis when you go with somebody... you both tend to motivate each other.

 

[Wonderbread166]

It's simple:

Get off your ****in ass. Don't touch that t.v. remote, it's bad for you. Go out and meet some new people, make some new friends, eat healthy, work out, live your life.

Here is what I do when I feel like I'm getting lazy. I imagine myself as an old man, looking back at all the days I've wasted sitting on my ass doing nothing. YOU HAVE ONE LIFE. ONE. JUST ONE. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Anything is better than nothing. You have the will to change yourself, and it takes time. But since you realize your faults, you are a million times closer to doing something about it. God, life is so great if you can just go out there and experience it.

So here is my remedy. Slap yourself ten times in the face for being a lazy bastard, and then go for a run or something, anything to get you off the couch/computer and moving.

 

[bob246]

Thanks for that wonderbread. That should get me thinking when im in bed tonight

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

Set rewards for yourself. No TV or computer until after you work out/walk a mile. Watch what you eat, too. I don't eat or drink anything after 7:00 pm and I've been slowly losing weight.
It's all really up to you. How badly do you want to improve yourself?

 

[khanboy]

That guy with the picturing yourself as an old man is the most helpful advice in my opinion, but dealing with the same **** as you are every day, I have another idea.

Stop thinking so far ahead, set a plan, then don't look further than 2 feet in front of your face (speaking metaphorically of course). For example, my plan is rather simple for I know that experience is all that's necessary to get good with women.

Here's my plan for the interested:
1) Leave the house.
2) Approach chicks.
3) Talk.
4) Bring home.
5) ****.

Sometimes when I wish to do the simplest step (numero uno) I freak out thinking about the crap that could happen at steps 2,3, and 4. I start coming up with tons of crap scenarios. Crap like thinking it may be another day where I just leave, and roam the malls approaching noone. Or something else like approaching a couple chicks who happen to be *****es. You get the idea. This stuff would of course just lead me to decide to stay inside and refuse to leave.

Anyway, try taking it one step at a time. Leave the house, then worry about the next steps. But not until you have actually left the house. You get me? So for my plan, I would not worry about where to go, or who to approach until I have actually left the house. I would just step outside and start walking somewhere, then enter "find chick mode." Once there, I wouldn't worry about the conversation until I had finished my "approach mode." I'm sure you get where I'm coming from, and even more positive you'll be able to relate what I'm saying to your own experience.

Once you follow this way of doing things you get some great benefits:
1) Less anxiety, more action.
2) You become a natural, all "tactics & techniques" are done on the fly with no premeditation, sweet **** man. It's all you the women see and hear.
3) These activities become a part of the ordinary and more ingrained in who you are, for you will be doing them more often. Believe it or not, you'll begin to prefer leaving the house to watching that piece of **** screen with electrons smacking the **** out of it, lol.

I think we can all see it's best to stop thinking so far ahead,
khanboy

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Here is a practical solution - disconnect your tv and computer and store them for one month in your closet. In the meantime, to feed your appetite for info read books that will expand your knowledge base during this month!

Everyday that you get more than 8 and a half hours of sleep and/or every day that you do 'not' exercise than add a day that you will not use your tv/computer on top of the one month period!

 

[Dirtheart]

I just can not motivate myself! I can not believe how ****ing lazy i am.

First and foremost, you need to pay more attention to your language. I'm not talking about the swearing; I'm talking about these negative affirmations you are giving yourself.

I can not...
...lazy I am.

Language has an extremely powerful influence over the mind and is a major source of motivation. If you tell yourself you are a lazy person, you will accept it and continue to be lazy until some external event changes this pattern. By saying you can not motivate yourself you are imposing a restriction or disability.

Perhaps you think you are being honest with yourself, but what you are doing is integrating this characteristic (laziness) into your personality.

So, think about rephrasing your affirmations first of all. Tell yourself you are "having a temporary relapse" or "looking to get motivated" or "until now I have been lazy". Try to express bad habits in the past tense where possible.

If we communicate to ourselves via our internal voices, then it is logical that negative language causes negative thoughts and beliefs.

Also, you might want to list the factors that keep you at home doing these things (i.e. boredom, lack of places to go, physical tiredness etc.) and try to work out a solution to each.

 

[Tails]

i'm kinda lazy too. lol. i only ever go out when i have to go study at uni (college, school, etc). i go out every saturday to the cinema. that's it pretty much. i stay home all weekend after that movie. but i like it. going to school everyday is enough of a social life for me

 

[Dirtheart]

Also, keep reading and contributing to this forum. I fell into a rut of depression and helplessness some months ago after a family tragedy and then being dumped by my girlfriend. But since finding this forum I've started rebuilding my confidence and gaining more hope, and I'm generally a much wiser, optimistic and more confident person than I have ever been.

Every day I visit this forum, read self-help books etc I expand my knowledge, have inspired thoughts and continue to improve myself and my state of mind...and I'm just sitting in front of my computer too for now.

 

[crisis]

OK. I am very lazy as well but I am recovering. Here's what I am doing. Because I know that if your lazy all you care about is your happiness now or in the short term, I decided to make a way so whenever I had any thoughts of being lazy. I would electrocute myself with an electric fly squatter. Thus causing short term pain, this would then cause my laziness to aid me. Because I didn't want short term unhappiness, I would work so I wouldn't electrocute myself. Hmm, that sounded confusing but I'm sure you get the drift. Call me a sociopath but oh well it's working.

If your not into the whole short term pain thing, then just set yourself goals and whenever you complete these goals, give yourself time to do the things you enjoy. But I usually end up not completing these goals, and just letting myself watch the TV because I couldn't be bothered.

CIAO.

 

[Tails]

yeah, i remember when i first found this site, i was searching on google about women, dating tips, etc. found this site, and every time i had the chance, i'd read every quick tip. it had so much information in it and it all made sense. after i'd read a tip, i'd be like: "ohhhh! so that's why they act that way." or "ohhhh! i'm not meant to be so nice to girls, i gotta be a man and take control."

it changed me alot, i had more confidence than i did before because i knew more about women after reading all of those tips. that was probably like 6 months ago or more. then i found this forum about three months ago, and here i am.

 

[Dirtheart]

Tails: I had exactly the same thoughts. In fact everything I read (esp about AFC and nice guy traits) totally contradicted everything I thought I knew about women. So I was like:

"That's why I have 100s of female friends and no girlfriend"
"That's why I get treated like a doormat"
"That's why I'm not x's type"
"That's why women come on strong to begin with and then back off with no explanation"
"That's why that girl dumped me 10 years ago"

...and so on. If nothing else, these tips have given me closure.

Moreover, since applying this stuff people are reacting to me differently (more respectful) these days. I'm so glad I found this site!

 

[Tails]

yeah for sure. this site is great! before i found the site, i was what we call "the nice guy" - i was always that way and i was shy. i'd always be nice to girls and let them walk all over me, i thought if i treated them like a princess, i'd get treated the same, like a prince. i liked to be nice to them. but i soon read all this and found out it was all wrong. and i lost alot of chances. one time a girl was so into me, we almost had sex, but she stopped and said i was too nice for her to just fool around with and not date. she said i was really sweet and all. i was too clingy aswell. she didn't like that. this was about three years ago.

i would say i am the total opposite now. i've gotten use to the way i am now that i feel as if i've been born this way. and it's all thanks to this site and you people.