FightingApathy
New Member
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2004
- Messages
- 5
- Reaction score
- 0
I know what is wrong with me; I know why I am here and why I have failed as a man.
I am self-whipped; I am my own nagging *****.
Rather than caring about what someone else thinks to the point of paralysis, I care about what I think to the point of paralysis.
I constantly monitor, analyze, and critique my own actions in order to find out what I think and feel about them and about myself.
I follow myself around, constantly judging, "suggesting", and complaining.
I am afraid of how I will react to my changed words and deeds.
I am afraid that I won't like the new me.
I am afraid that I will not respond to the new me.
I cling to myself for fear of losing everything if I leave and try for something better, even if that something better is a whole new me.
What I thought was the piercing eyes of others glaring at me was actually my own mind's eye.
What I thought was me trying to read the minds of others was actually me trying to read my own mind.
What I thought was me trying to predict the words and actions of others was actually me trying to gauge my own opinion of myself.
As Pook and others have said, what I seek is not acceptance and gratification from a woman, but from myself.
I am trapped in AFC-dom, but in this case, the AFC and the ***** he tries to please are the same person - and that person is me.
I need help.
I am self-whipped; I am my own nagging *****.
Rather than caring about what someone else thinks to the point of paralysis, I care about what I think to the point of paralysis.
I constantly monitor, analyze, and critique my own actions in order to find out what I think and feel about them and about myself.
I follow myself around, constantly judging, "suggesting", and complaining.
I am afraid of how I will react to my changed words and deeds.
I am afraid that I won't like the new me.
I am afraid that I will not respond to the new me.
I cling to myself for fear of losing everything if I leave and try for something better, even if that something better is a whole new me.
What I thought was the piercing eyes of others glaring at me was actually my own mind's eye.
What I thought was me trying to read the minds of others was actually me trying to read my own mind.
What I thought was me trying to predict the words and actions of others was actually me trying to gauge my own opinion of myself.
As Pook and others have said, what I seek is not acceptance and gratification from a woman, but from myself.
I am trapped in AFC-dom, but in this case, the AFC and the ***** he tries to please are the same person - and that person is me.
I need help.