I am LIVID...need some cooling down

[The Comeback Kid]

I learned some good lessons tonight, but right now I am just PISSED. Went out with my fellow interns tonight, had a good time at first, but it all unraveled and I am extremely angry lol. :cuss:

I recently wrote a thread about a girl I was getting to know at work. You guys felt she "definitely liked" me and I was taking too long to make a move. You guys made great points - I figured I'd say something today. Before I had the chance, one of my bosses bee-lines across the facility to talk to me. In retrospect, this guy is the man. He saved me from a lot of trouble.

He could tell that I "liked" her and was ready to make some sort of move. His advice: "Stay the he!! away from her!," for my own good. He said this a few times. Oddly, it had nothing to do with us working together. He did say that doing things at work makes things risky, as he once had a bad experience, but he saw something no one else did. He told me he can see all the signs from her...signs that she was trying to play me big-time, and that I was starting to fall for it. He went through a whole explanation and told me she isn't worth it. I know it's strange for one of my bosses to do this, but he and I get along pretty well and he tries to protect me from any big issues.

So tonight, all us interns go to a local bar. This girl made sure to use kino and talk to every one of us who worked together...except me. It was obvious. I'd come in with my usual, solid stuff, and she would just ignore me. We usually get along pretty well. Meanwhile, she says her and (guy who she doesn't talk to much, for example) "really bonded" and she made it seem that every other guy there is great. I did not take this well. I didn't do or say anything, but I left very early. The icing on the cake was it seemed everyone else was getting along just great (just the interns in our dept) while I felt out of place. I feel I get along with everyone, but tonight made me doubt this a bit - things just felt wrong.

Tomorrow (last day I will see her, as internship is basically over), the plan is simple. I'm literally not talking to her - stunning since I always talk to everyone. It'll also be interesting since we're in the same department and will see each other for about 9-10 hours, but I am making this a mission. If she asks for a favor, I'll tell her to ask someone else. If she says anything else, I'm ignoring her. She doesn't even deserve a one-word answer. Her two close friends where we work will receive the same treatment. They invite me to hang out and then won't talk to me when I get there.

Again, I'm just very upset. A decent night's sleep should help. I just don't get why this girl seems cool for the first 9/10 of our internship, and then decides I'm horse sh!t the last night when we all go out to celebrate. Worse, she made sure that every other guy was having a fun time but seriously ignored me. I know my game isn't real great and I'm a little slow when it comes to kino/escalating, but that shouldn't lead to this level of disrespect. I didn't even ask her out, receive any sort of LJBF, etc; there's no reason things should make a 180 like this.

 

[WhitePimp]

Methinks your boss is trying to hit that and wanted to keep you away from her, while playing it off as trying to look out for you.

As for your plan, I would advise against it. It sounds great at the moment, but trust me, you'll feel like a chump when you realize you let a girl get you so worked up you have to rub it in her face at work. Just be a cool guy, let it all go, and pretend as if you just don't give a fvck about her. Answer her with short answers as if you're humoring her, don't seek her out, but don't be a weirdo and completely stop talking, that makes you look weak and make her feel like she had a huge impact on you. Don't give her the satisfaction of getting to you.

If she asks why you're being weird/not talking as much (as if she doesn't fvcking know why...) just say you're tired cause you went out after you left the bar with the interns and didn't get in until really late. Say no more but try your best to be in a great mood. This will render her powerless

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Methinks your boss is trying to hit that and wanted to keep you away from her, while playing it off as trying to look out for you.

-I can see your logic, but this isn't true. My boss is happily married, and this sort of thing is banned where I work anyway (boss-intern relations). He's also a lot older than us.

As for your plan, I would advise against it. It sounds great at the moment, but trust me, you'll feel like a chump when you realize you let a girl get you so worked up you have to rub it in her face at work. Just be a cool guy, let it all go, and pretend as if you just don't give a fvck about her. Answer her with short answers as if you're humoring her, don't seek her out, but don't be a weirdo and completely stop talking, that makes you look weak and make her feel like she had a huge impact on you. Don't give her the satisfaction of getting to you.

If she asks why you're being weird/not talking as much (as if she doesn't fvcking know why...) just say you're tired cause you went out after you left the bar with the interns and didn't get in until really late. Say no more but try your best to be in a great mood. This will render her powerless

You're probably right, but this night was just disgusting. It was horrible. I really felt disrespected. For the past three weeks of this internship, I've taken the high road on everything and anything, I haven't shown anger once. I contained it well. However, when things like this happen, I have trouble handling it. Blatant disrespect sends me into a tirade.

I can talk to her if she starts the conversation with me. However, if she asks for help or a favor, she'll be getting that from someone else. I want to waste no energy on her. As you said though, I will do my best to remain positive. I want there to be a noticeable difference, but I don't need to look real upset either. It's the last day I'll see her, so I feel more implied to send a message.

 

[Desert Fox]

yo CK your initial post has this correct 100% man. She disrespected you and now she is on your sh1t list.

She has to earn her way back and the only way after such disrespect is probably free sex whereever and whenever u want it. Even that might not make it up since she's such a two-facing b1tch. Who wants that? Anyways, forget this low quality trash you deserve better man. I mean just read your post man, it probably does not convey accurately how disrespected and ****ty you felt. Nobody should be able to make you feel like sh1t and suddenly be buddy buddy with you like that.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

yo CK your initial post has this correct 100% man. She disrespected you and now she is on your sh1t list.

She has to earn her way back and the only way after such disrespect is probably free sex whereever and whenever u want it. Even that might not make it up since she's such a two-facing b1tch. Who wants that? Anyways, forget this low quality trash you deserve better man. I mean just read your post man, it probably does not convey accurately how disrespected and ****ty you felt. Nobody should be able to make you feel like sh1t and suddenly be buddy buddy with you like that.

haha yeah I'm real sure I can make the "free sex" happen today lol :crackup: (I wish ). Anyways, it is our last day of the internship, so I don't have to see her after today, which is probably good. Today at work though is going to be interesting though. I like to see how I feel after a night's sleep, as it can sometimes calm me down...well I'm still pissed.:trouble: I'm trying as hard as I can to think, 'Maybe it was me, sometimes I look too much into things, etc.'). After I think through what happened though, I can't see things that way.

 

[Bloke]

Knee her in the vag.

 

[Ganondorf]

You ever think of the off chance that she might have been trying to make you Jealous? And that your boss is right and she's just an attention hore?

Just a thought on a positive note

but that is very disrespectful. You shouldn't let people get to you like that. If they wanna act sh1tty then let them. You can have fun all by yourself. You don't need some chick to make your night right

I'd just be positive and act like nothing happened. This is your last day, you will probably never see these people again, so just let it roll off your back

 

[zekko]

that your boss is right and she's just an attention hore?

If she was giving kino to all the guys/interns she worked with, I guarantee you she's an attention hore.

 

[robinincarolina]

Forget her, she is not worth the space she takes up in your mind. NEXT!

 

[scrouds]

Guess you waited too long to move in on her. Oh well, there's plenty more out there.

She was all over you. You did nothing. NOW you're LIVID she's over you. A woman flirts and flirts, and when you don't make a move, she MOVES ON.

Strike while the iron is hot. Lesson of the day.

 

[wjh]

lol. I remember getting upset about this type of thing.

Relax though, oneitis seems to have set in. It's not worth getting upset over.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Thanks for the suggestions guys. I figured it'd only be right to tell you how this one went down.

I sent the message pretty clearly during the morning - without getting angry. When she walked into the office (and as I was getting ready to head over to another spot anyway), I didn't say hi like I usually do, I just walked on by. A couple hours later, when we were both in the same area, I made sure I was on the other end of the field as her (we worked with a football team). Soon after, we had to grab players over for certain things. I know the players well, while she usually asks me for help. Normally, I give her detailed clues and am happy to help. Yesterday..."He's tall, he is wearing a white jersey and he's (his race). Good luck." And then I walked away. At this point, she knew something was up, asking me, "Are you alright? Is something wrong?" While I wanted to explode, I went with WhitePimp's advice and told her everything's fine and I was just tired. I was nice/civil when she needed to send something to me so I can print it (her CPU isn't plugged into the printer).

Then came lunch time, and the realization that it was the last day we'd all be working together. Our group of interns went, as did our department's head guy. Coincidentally, the two of us ended up in the same car up there - with the boss. I give my boss credit for (perhaps unknowingly?) lowering my guard, as he engaged all of us in conversation during the lunch period. It even so happened that - gasp - I talked to her (atleast a little bit)!

The afternoon was filled with a lot of reminiscing, etc. among everyone in our department. Towards the end of the day, we went outside, shared some laughs, and took a group photo. Afterward, we all went through our favorite day of the internship, etc. The very end of the day was just strange:
- My female boss reveals that the girl told her that she doesn't date or "do anything" with co-workers while we're working together. So while Scrouds would normally be right, it looks like nothing would have happened anyway. Why no one told me this until the last day, I don't know.
- Our bosses discussed keeping in touch. For whatever reason, they said that if any two of us interns kept in touch with one another, they'd want it to be me and her. They said they really hope that happens. Why?
-The rest of our department feels her and I should be a TV show. Aside from us having similar personalities, I have no idea what this means.

When we were all leaving, we hugged it out, she told people our "fighting" was good-natured, etc. I hope to keep in touch with everyone, including her. We'll see what happens.

I guess the questions I have from this recap:
-Anything pop out at you?
-Why are my bosses so concerned about us keeping in touch - this includes the boss who told me she is an attention wh0re? And what's with the TV show thing?

 

[The Comeback Kid]

I wanted to touch up on a couple of the other responses so far too...

I can see Ganondorf's theory that she could have been trying to make me jealous. We got along every day, then all of a sudden she wants nothing to do with me? When we're in the same group, she's giving other guys in the dept who she doesn't talk to as much tons of attention, and I got nada. As you could guess, I was peeved. HOWEVER, the reason I can't see this really being the reason is because...

...it was our last night there! If we were halfway through the internship, maybe. But the night before we all leave, she does this. Therefore, I'm more inclined to thing she's an attention wh0re, as Zekko says. I see Ganondorf said this too, and I generally agree. I also feel it was disrespectful and, like he said, I let it roll off my back for the most part.

Once I get back to school, I'll probably be occupied with other things and other girls, which will be a good thing. WJH implies I have one-itis right now, that will certainly be gone once I'm back at school. And since she lives two hours away from me and her school is five hours away from mine, meaning I probably won't be seeing her..as RobininCarolina says...NEXT! Hopefully we can keep in touch, but I don't see anything happening.

 

[Prod]

-Why are my bosses so concerned about us keeping in touch - this includes the boss who told me she is an attention wh0re? And what's with the TV show thing?

Quite clearly the drama between you guys was pretty visible.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Quite clearly the drama between you guys was pretty visible.

Would this be good drama or bad drama?

We never got into any real fights or had heated/profanity-laced arguments or anything like that. It seemed (to me) more busting balls to an extreme than anything else - I was very amused by the entire thing.

 

[HolyG]

Do you realize all the time, effort, anger, emotion, and typing and posting on Sosuave could have been entirely avoided if you had just made a move on her, oh, I don't know, BACK WHEN HER INTEREST WAS THROUGH THE ROOF? have you learned anything from this?

Here's a tip - go and read though the thread in the Archive, Most obvious come-on that was missed.

 

[horaholic]

Would this be good drama or bad drama?

We never got into any real fights or had heated/profanity-laced arguments or anything like that. It seemed (to me) more busting balls to an extreme than anything else - I was very amused by the entire thing.

Maybe you should.
the key to any womans heart is through her emotions. It is possible that if you start a fight with her, and let your feelings be known, that she will respond favorably. This has worked for me MANY times (inadvertandly, though)

Anything emotional is good for girls, so if you start an argument with her about whatever, she will associate that with a relationship, which will in turn, excite her. dont do this intentionallyy, bu ttell her how you feel, exactly how you feel it, WITH emotion, and she will bow down and grovel to you, if you have a legitimate reason for freaking out. Be a man, and say what you feel, regardless of the consequences. She'll love it.

Once, I told my would be girlfriend, I was sick of chasing her, , and blah,blah,blah, and I woyld talk to her in a couple weeks, and that I was pissed. The next time i saw her, she was kissing my ass. I dated her for a year and a half, because I said '**** it,' and told her everything that was on my mind.

Point is, say whatever the hell you want to, dont be afraid. Stir her emotions, and she's yours. Ive fvcked WAY more chicks by being brutally honest, and making them feel like shyt, than being cool, and nice.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Maybe you should.
the key to any womans heart is through her emotions. It is possible that if you start a fight with her, and let your feelings be known, that she will respond favorably. This has worked for me MANY times (inadvertandly, though)

Anything emotional is good for girls, so if you start an argument with her about whatever, she will associate that with a relationship, which will in turn, excite her. dont do this intentionallyy, bu ttell her how you feel, exactly how you feel it, WITH emotion, and she will bow down and grovel to you, if you have a legitimate reason for freaking out. Be a man, and say what you feel, regardless of the consequences. She'll love it.

Once, I told my would be girlfriend, I was sick of chasing her, , and blah,blah,blah, and I woyld talk to her in a couple weeks, and that I was pissed. The next time i saw her, she was kissing my ass. I dated her for a year and a half, because I said '**** it,' and told her everything that was on my mind.

Point is, say whatever the hell you want to, dont be afraid. Stir her emotions, and she's yours. Ive fvcked WAY more chicks by being brutally honest, and making them feel like shyt, than being cool, and nice.

Very interesting Horaholic. Because of work, I bottled up any anger or frustration I held towards others because I wanted to look good in the workplace (it worked, I got a job offer to return next year). Anyways, I COULD write an e-mail expressing whatever it is I'm feeling (except my "feelings" towards her of course) and see what happens.

I may never see her again, so there's not much to lose - I'll only see her if she comes back for some of the small events our internship does during the year (I'll be down for a few, maybe she'll be down there too). I just don't want the note to look AFCish lol.