I am hurt now

Mahmudul Hasan

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 27, 2024
Messages
66
Reaction score
18
Age
20
I talked to a girl from my college and i liked her a lot. i called her cute several times. i negged her really hard as well for example she once told me that she has read 1k books and i made fun of her a lot for that. i never touched her as i sat with my male buddies mostly. today i saw a guy touching her and she was liking it, just seeing that i was about to cry in my heart. it felt really bad. on facebook today she told me that she sees me as a brother and she didn't like most of my neggings as she took them as personal insults. i said sorry to her. i really feel bad that i could not get her. my heart is feeling the sadness
 

holidayad_

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2022
Messages
234
Reaction score
216
Age
25
Some basic mistakes you made:

1. You gave her a lot of validation.

i called her cute several times.
2. It seems you lost time talking too much.

I talked to a girl from my college and i liked her a lot.
3. You took too long to make a move. (And this put you in the friendzone.)

i never touched her as i sat with my male buddies mostly.
It hurts, but you'll get it right next time.

Move on.
 

Mahmudul Hasan

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 27, 2024
Messages
66
Reaction score
18
Age
20
There is nothing better than going through it now. It will make you stronger.
are neggings actually good? sure it got me more response from girls than when i used to be shy and just do what a girl told me to do. ofc negging makes girls laugh but still what about girls that take it personally?
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,695
Reaction score
7,734
Location
USA, Louisiana
In my experience, in most situations like, this the woman was never really interested in you. If a woman is not interested, then there is really nothing you can do to turn that around. In contrast, if you is attracted then you then she'll ignore little things she might not otherwise like.

In this regard, women really are not that different from men. A man will twist himself into knots to get and maintain a woman that he is really interested in. She can treat him like garbage, and he will put up with it.... at least for a time... as she continues to treat him with increasing distain... then he snaps.

How a man looks and shows up is all the woman has to go on in the beginning, so first impressions are important. now how you 'show up', and if a woman is attracted to the man changes from woman to woman. It really isn't the dude, it really is the woman. The only thing a man can do is be the very best version of himself that he can... be in good shape, wear clothes you like that fit, have a pleasant personality with a sense of humor. Women do have types! Just like men. If you are not 'her type' she isn't going to feel the chemistry. If she like beards... and you don't have a beard... well... she isn't going to be attracted to you. If you have tattoos, and she doesn't like tattoos... you are not going to be able to overcome that. If success and status is important to her, and you are not dressed like a successful man, she isn't going to be attracted to you. For me... well I'm in my late 50s... I do not have an ice cube's chance in hell with women who are turned off by older men. The good news is that there are women that like older men... so I don't waste time with women that want what I cannot give them.

To the OP.... Dude you never had a shot, there was something about you that she was not attracted, again NOT YOUR FAULT. You cannot change that sh1t, no amount of effort or 'game' can turn that around. On negging, I never really understood that, and it might have worked in the early 90s, but now everyone knows this is a pick-up technique and with many women. it is a turn off. I wouldn't go out of my way to 'neg' a woman, trust me, if you let her talk she will say something you do not agree with, it's okay for you to disagree with her, but do it respectfully, and if she is attracted and interested, this MIGHT make you look more attractive.

Here is an example of something that happened to me last week. I met a woman in the sauna at my health club. I let her talk, eventually she told me that she was a 'holistic health consultant' and started talking about 'magic food' and other silliness. Now I could have said, "That is silly, your job is stupid... there are no magic foods." Instead, I said, "I'm not sure I agree with that, but I do agree it is very important to be aware of what we put in our bodies... eating smart is always good advice." That interaction went very well, now she has a chance to change my mind... and the harder she tries, the more investment she has which is always a good thing. You are not being a supplicating weak little b1tch just agreeing with her, and you are not being an @sshole about it.
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
4,018
Reaction score
1,148
Age
80
Location
Australia
Hi Mahmud,
Well,I think you have played it pretty cool...The chemicals have been thrown in lifes retort and now time will tell how it all develops...Just let events flow for a while,this Bird lives in her head.
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
2,563
Reaction score
1,082
Age
35
I talked to a girl from my college and i liked her a lot. i called her cute several times. i negged her really hard as well for example she once told me that she has read 1k books and i made fun of her a lot for that. i never touched her as i sat with my male buddies mostly. today i saw a guy touching her and she was liking it, just seeing that i was about to cry in my heart. it felt really bad. on facebook today she told me that she sees me as a brother and she didn't like most of my neggings as she took them as personal insults. i said sorry to her. i really feel bad that i could not get her. my heart is feeling the sadness
It'll behoove you to do some internal work on this subject, so that you're not so easily wounded
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,602
Reaction score
8,494
Thicker skin, bigger balls next time pal.
 

Chow Mein

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2024
Messages
254
Reaction score
172
If a woman is not playful with you, she is not interested in you romantically. You didn’t do anything wrong OP, you just found where you stand with her. Best of luck on the next!
 

Chow Mein

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2024
Messages
254
Reaction score
172
In my experience, in most situations like, this the woman was never really interested in you. If a woman is not interested, then there is really nothing you can do to turn that around. In contrast, if you is attracted then you then she'll ignore little things she might not otherwise like.

In this regard, women really are not that different from men. A man will twist himself into knots to get and maintain a woman that he is really interested in. She can treat him like garbage, and he will put up with it.... at least for a time... as she continues to treat him with increasing distain... then he snaps.

How a man looks and shows up is all the woman has to go on in the beginning, so first impressions are important. now how you 'show up', and if a woman is attracted to the man changes from woman to woman. It really isn't the dude, it really is the woman. The only thing a man can do is be the very best version of himself that he can... be in good shape, wear clothes you like that fit, have a pleasant personality with a sense of humor. Women do have types! Just like men. If you are not 'her type' she isn't going to feel the chemistry. If she like beards... and you don't have a beard... well... she isn't going to be attracted to you. If you have tattoos, and she doesn't like tattoos... you are not going to be able to overcome that. If success and status is important to her, and you are not dressed like a successful man, she isn't going to be attracted to you. For me... well I'm in my late 50s... I do not have an ice cube's chance in hell with women who are turned off by older men. The good news is that there are women that like older men... so I don't waste time with women that want what I cannot give them.

To the OP.... Dude you never had a shot, there was something about you that she was not attracted, again NOT YOUR FAULT. You cannot change that sh1t, no amount of effort or 'game' can turn that around. On negging, I never really understood that, and it might have worked in the early 90s, but now everyone knows this is a pick-up technique and with many women. it is a turn off. I wouldn't go out of my way to 'neg' a woman, trust me, if you let her talk she will say something you do not agree with, it's okay for you to disagree with her, but do it respectfully, and if she is attracted and interested, this MIGHT make you look more attractive.

Here is an example of something that happened to me last week. I met a woman in the sauna at my health club. I let her talk, eventually she told me that she was a 'holistic health consultant' and started talking about 'magic food' and other silliness. Now I could have said, "That is silly, your job is stupid... there are no magic foods." Instead, I said, "I'm not sure I agree with that, but I do agree it is very important to be aware of what we put in our bodies... eating smart is always good advice." That interaction went very well, now she has a chance to change my mind... and the harder she tries, the more investment she has which is always a good thing. You are not being a supplicating weak little b1tch just agreeing with her, and you are not being an @sshole about it.
Dude gets it ^
 

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
2,410
Reaction score
1,016
Location
Wilmington, DE
Strongly suggest NOT negging if you don't know what you're doing - which you don't.

A neg is a playful joke that is an observation of something that the woman also knows is ridiculous. The goal is for her to laugh WITH you rather than have you laugh AT her.

A neg is NOT a straight-up insult or attack on something that the woman cares about, holds dear, or would be embarrassed by.

Talk to more girls. Get rejected by them. Slowly learn why you got rejected so you can avoid it in the future. Repeat a couple hundred times and you'll start to see some success.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,281
Reaction score
11,248
Strongly suggest NOT negging if you don't know what you're doing - which you don't.

A neg is NOT a straight-up insult or attack on something that the woman cares about, holds dear, or would be embarrassed by.
Agree with this. I've also read opinions that the neg is dead and these opinions were written 10-13 years ago. The neg had its heyday in the late 1990s and 2000s. The neg can probably still be effective in 2024 if used skillfully but most men won't be able to do it. The neg got overhyped and overused once Mystery got big in the mid to late 2000s.

Talk to more girls. Get rejected by them. Slowly learn why you got rejected so you can avoid it in the future. Repeat a couple hundred times and you'll start to see some success.
This is also true. It is a more common experience for men who do in-person approaching to get emotionally brutalized by the rejections and give up, claiming that cold approach doesn't work. Approaching strangers is an inefficient practice for most men.

In the last 10-15 years, more men are opting against in-person approaching and are choosing to swipe right on massive amounts of women and send DMs on social media. By swiping and sending DMs, most men are probably taking more total rejections (these methods are even more inefficient for the majority of men) but these rejections aren't face-to-face so it doesn't immediately bruise the ego. With that said, taking thousands of asynchronous, digital rejections causes its own set of emotional problems as we're seeing in the real world lately.
 

Crown

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 14, 2019
Messages
162
Reaction score
145
Some basic mistakes you made:

1. You gave her a lot of validation.



2. It seems you lost time talking too much.



3. You took too long to make a move. (And this put you in the friendzone.)



It hurts, but you'll get it right next time.

Move on.

Or maybe OP is ugly ? (or at least ugly to her)

Stop complicating interactions. It all comes to how she sees you - mainly physically.
 

holidayad_

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2022
Messages
234
Reaction score
216
Age
25
Or maybe OP is ugly ? (or at least ugly to her)

Stop complicating interactions. It all comes to how she sees you - mainly physically.
There's no point in being attractive in the slightest if you can’t interact in a proper way. Every girl will notice this, and it will push her away.
 

Crown

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 14, 2019
Messages
162
Reaction score
145
There's no point in being attractive in the slightest if you can’t interact in a proper way. Every girl will notice this, and it will push her away.
I dont think we live in the same world. Where I come from, girls do the seducing if the guy is handsome.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,589
Reaction score
5,705
i negged her really hard as well for example she once told me that she has read 1k books and i made fun of her a lot for that.
Negging is actually really dumb PUA behaviour, intended to lower a woman's self esteem so she'll come down to your low level.
What you should do instead is tease her and pull her up to your level.
Darth Vader doesn't put people down.jpeg
 
Top