I always hear women throw around the term "true love" is what every girl wants...

[zinc4]

And it annoys me for various reasons....one that i will briefly get into...

No this isn't some sort of white knight thread..just want to clarify what i think a lot of people misunderstand or get swept away with.....it seems like many people confuse love with infatuation or some form or personal attachment....something your average guy and especially your average woman will never be able to fully understand...

In my experience real pure love has zero attachment....it has to do with complete unselfishness..wanting the best for that person and be willing to sacrifice everything for them including losing or dropping them at a whim so they can get what's best for them or what they want....regardless of whether it's a family member, longtime friend or longtime GF......

it doesn't involve needing that person or getting jealous or controlling them...these feelings all stem from personal selfish motives...i also think that real love has very little to do with something romantic...i mean, the two are separate things IMO....you can be very romantic with a person but not truly love them while you can also truly love someone without being romantic with them...

if anything romance is more times than not a perversion of real love IMO if the people involved are not emotionally mature to differentiate from the 2....IMO women tend to suffer from this more badly than men..they think that desperately wanting someone or feeling like they need him/her equals "true love"...

People always try to own each other and bind each other..or judge each other or establish some form of control....but IMO, this all stems from some form of selfishiness or fear...

Also, when i think of real love, i don't think of Gfs i have had...except maybe one longtime GF who i was not attached to because of various personal reasons....i let her go on my own accord...... i think of my family...i think of my first dog i had and raised from a pup........i even think of some for my students who i work with...but women don't really enter my mind.......

But with that being said...there was a time when i was on the floor begging for my ex-wife to come back to me after she took up with another man shortly after i had dumped her only to be shocked she had found someone else so quickly....long story..and i even convinced myself at the time i truly loved her with everything i had....but it was all a fake mirage based on someone who used to be obsessed with me finally saying no to me...it was all my ego playing tricks on me...steady no contact fixed me, though in this case and let me see through my ego....

Also...the basic premise of attraction has zero to do with love...it is based on shallow criteria such as how hot is the girl or for women what is the guy's social and financial status combined with his looks? yes, it is possible to sincerely love someone you are attracted to...but the real thing is very rare IMO and most people go their entire lives confusing personal setbacks and hangups with the it...

My on and off again GF recently asked me who i loved the most that i have dated...i told her no one more than my dog that i raised.....she looked horrified and said not even your ex wife...i said no i would have gladly given my life for my dog...not so much for my ex-wife......and the truth is i cared about my ex-wife a lot...but i never felt that unselfish unconditional love for her that i felt for my dog and my family members....the same could be said about every girl i have ever dated besides that one GF i mentioned up top...

 

[rhythmic]

I agree about love not being a particularly romantic thing. I was discussing something similar with a friend just the other day - I don't really think love is a feeling as much as it is a thought process, a build-up of shared experiences, compromise, compassion and other things.

 

[VikingKing]

But with that being said...there was a time when i was on the floor begging for my ex-wife to come back to me after she took up with another man shortly after i had dumped her only to be shocked she had found someone else so quickly....long story..and i even convinced myself at the time i truly loved her with everything i had....but it was all a fake mirage based on someone who used to be obsessed with me finally saying no to me...it was all my ego playing tricks on me...steady no contact fixed me, though in this case and let me see through my ego....



This right here, really makes sense to me. This is what happend with my ex. For a year ive been trying to figure out what the fvck happend, how the tables turned so quickly in the end, why i behaved like so a chump. man uncanny

 

[Skyline]

In my experience real pure love has zero attachment....it has to do with complete unselfishness..wanting the best for that person and be willing to sacrifice everything for them including losing or dropping them at a whim so they can get what's best for them or what they want....regardless of whether it's a family member, longtime friend or longtime GF......

I agree with a lot of your posts more so than others zinc4.

I think most people nowadays try and do this type of stuff but they are not in any way ready for that type of confident mindset. Meaning they're getting into relationships from which they can't even take care of themselves or don't care about themselves. They instead give them everything their life can offer and become controlling and clingy instead of simply SHARING their life.

They end up putting someone on a Pedestal by saying "What's best for them" and even go as far saying as "You can do better than me" or "You deserve better." Then when they actually dump them or cheat, they end up "Heart Broken" because they weren't even ready for true Love to begin with. They were just writing a hallmark card derived from self validation.

The combination of AFC's and White Knight's sadly make your definitions of "True Love" completely AFC/Beta. I agree with this concept, but it's pretty frowned upon because people declare their "Love" when they aren't even confident enough to preach nor meet the required time for Love to even be stimulated; often people confuse Love and Infatuation witch is terrible.

Love is based on experience with one another. Not because "They complete you" witch is basically saying they satisfy your insecure Ego.

True Love is being able to let go and do whats best for the BOTH of you.

 

[switch]

let me clear the toxic cloud away for the un-initiated

1.love doesnt exist, life aint a fairy tale

2.true love doesnt exist ,^ same as above, its only in disney cartoons and movies.

3.what women say isn't worth jacksh!t , treat everything they say as background noise

 

[Dalshtröm]

Yes. Love that has attachment will sooner or later turn into hatred. So I agree that the way to love is no love. Or the way to attachment is no attachment. Eitherway if you have complete Freedom of your own Being, can you love, otherwise it is just satiafying your ego.. The completing each other.

 

[K-mart]

I did some musing tonight and find myself in agreement with zinc and frayzer. I think it plays more on the essence of what makes a man

Love for a man, among many things, is the ability to let go, walk away, or leave with full appreciation for her and the experiences she enhanced your life with. It is the ability to say 'Thank you and I wish you the best in life', and to mean it when the relationship has met its match. The love a man gives comes first from his love for himself which in turn grants him the ability to appreciate others second.

I think I make a pretty good point. This plays into not settling for less than what you want or what you think you can get or deserve in a woman when considering an ltr.

 

[Kailex]

A wise man once told me many years ago: Love is a myth.

 

[expos]

And it annoys me for various reasons....one that i will briefly get into...

No this isn't some sort of white knight thread..just want to clarify what i think a lot of people misunderstand or get swept away with.....it seems like many people confuse love with infatuation or some form or personal attachment....something your average guy and especially your average woman will never be able to fully understand...

In my experience real pure love has zero attachment....it has to do with complete unselfishness..wanting the best for that person and be willing to sacrifice everything for them including losing or dropping them at a whim so they can get what's best for them or what they want....regardless of whether it's a family member, longtime friend or longtime GF......

it doesn't involve needing that person or getting jealous or controlling them...these feelings all stem from personal selfish motives...i also think that real love has very little to do with something romantic...i mean, the two are separate things IMO....you can be very romantic with a person but not truly love them while you can also truly love someone without being romantic with them...

if anything romance is more times than not a perversion of real love IMO if the people involved are not emotionally mature to differentiate from the 2....IMO women tend to suffer from this more badly than men..they think that desperately wanting someone or feeling like they need him/her equals "true love"...

People always try to own each other and bind each other..or judge each other or establish some form of control....but IMO, this all stems from some form of selfishiness or fear...

Also, when i think of real love, i don't think of Gfs i have had...except maybe one longtime GF who i was not attached to because of various personal reasons....i let her go on my own accord...... i think of my family...i think of my first dog i had and raised from a pup........i even think of some for my students who i work with...but women don't really enter my mind.......

But with that being said...there was a time when i was on the floor begging for my ex-wife to come back to me after she took up with another man shortly after i had dumped her only to be shocked she had found someone else so quickly....long story..and i even convinced myself at the time i truly loved her with everything i had....but it was all a fake mirage based on someone who used to be obsessed with me finally saying no to me...it was all my ego playing tricks on me...steady no contact fixed me, though in this case and let me see through my ego....

Also...the basic premise of attraction has zero to do with love...it is based on shallow criteria such as how hot is the girl or for women what is the guy's social and financial status combined with his looks? yes, it is possible to sincerely love someone you are attracted to...but the real thing is very rare IMO and most people go their entire lives confusing personal setbacks and hangups with the it...

My on and off again GF recently asked me who i loved the most that i have dated...i told her no one more than my dog that i raised.....she looked horrified and said not even your ex wife...i said no i would have gladly given my life for my dog...not so much for my ex-wife......and the truth is i cared about my ex-wife a lot...but i never felt that unselfish unconditional love for her that i felt for my dog and my family members....the same could be said about every girl i have ever dated besides that one GF i mentioned up top...

repped.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Love is not for the weak

I know I won't be making myself too popular around here, but saying "love is a myth" is like throwing the baby out with the bathwater...

If you love something, it means you value something so much that you are willing to sacrifice your life for it. Nothing else.


There's a difference between "liking" and "loving".

Everyday I see people taking peace for granted. Not many people realize how much we have been loved by those who came before us. A lot of blood has been shed, for the sake of our well-being. Those who sacrificed their lives, have rarely ever lived to enjoy the fruits of their labor. All the things we are enjoying RIGHT NOW are only possible because someone cared enough about us to sacrifice. Because someone LOVED us. (collectively)

Young, attractive women don't know and will NEVER know how to love. Period.

Love is about hard work, sticking to your principles and following your OWN path. The way a man can LOVE his work is something women will NEVER understand.

Yeah, they like TALKING about "true love", but it draws more comparison to a drunk trucker talking about nanotechnology... it amounts to nothing.

The majority of women don't know **** about love until the day they give birth to their first child. And even then, the love of a woman PALES in comparison to a man's ability to LOVE.

That being said...

When a man falls in love with a woman, that's LITERALLY fool's mate

 

[PlayHer Man]

let me clear the toxic cloud away for the un-initiated

1.love doesnt exist, life aint a fairy tale

2.true love doesnt exist ,^ same as above, its only in disney cartoons and movies.

3.what women say isn't worth jacksh!t , treat everything they say as background noise

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to switch again".



Until more men let go of their delusions about women and embrace this reality.. they'll be doomed to a life of pandering beta faggotry. No matter how many PUA books they read.

Women are a great experience and lots of fun. Just don't be stupid enough to over-value them. They are a WANT not a NEED.

Love stories and soul-mates are for fags.

 

[nismo-4]

let me clear the toxic cloud away for the un-initiated

1.love doesnt exist, life aint a fairy tale

Love is a f**kin' 4 letter word.

2.true love doesnt exist ,^ same as above, its only in disney cartoons and movies.

Only false love and extortion exist.

3.what women say isn't worth jacksh!t , treat everything they say as background noise

Damn right!

Fixed and lovin' it!

Men value love, women love value. Summed up.

 

[expos]

And even then, the love of a woman PALES in comparison to a man's ability to LOVE.

Damn right. Repped.

Two particular things ring clear to me after I dumped my ex-wife and an old girlfriend from years ago.

When I dumped my ex-wife, it broke my heart to do it. I literally vomited...and I hated to make the decision. Her response was "I can't believe I am going to be divorced!!" When it should be, I can't believe you're leaving me..I LOVE YOU!!" She was more concerned about being labeled a "divorcee" than actually losing me. I was essentially replaced two months later after my divorce was finalized...so obviously, I didn't really mean that much to her.

When I dumped my ex-girlfriend I had to kick her out of my apartment. Her, being basically jobless and really a dishonest person, said "I'm SO SCREWED!!!" when she should have said, "Don't kick me out....I'm in love with you!!!" She could care less about me...she just liked the roof over her head and her seemingly free ride.

The older I get, the more I understand that men love "LOVE", women love status and security. In past few months, I've met more soulless, lifeless women than I care to remember and nexted them quick once I uncovered their motives. They are far too concerned with what they can get from the guy as opposed to actually caring about them.