Huge AFC starting to scare me away

[32swf]

I've just started seeing a new guy that I really like. the only thing I don't like about him so far, is how strong he's coming on. Not physically, just some kissing, but the things he says. Like how much he likes me, and how glad he is that we met, etc. It's like I can't do or say anything wrong.

I like this guy. We have a lot in common, good looking, he has a great job, close to his family, etc. On one hand, I'm glad that he's SO into me, I haven't had that in a while, but it's only been two dates so far.

I'm worried that he's going to scare me away. I'd just like him to chill a little.

any ideas??

 

[M2k961]

NEXT

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by 32swf
but the things he says. Like how much he likes me, and how glad he is that we met, etc. It's like I can't do or say anything wrong.

and this makes him any different to 99.7% of westernized men how?

 

[So pimp its scary]

That's a pretty ****ty situation... too bad most of us are only good at giving advice to men about women, and not so much vice versa, at least for me...

You could try saying something like, "I like that you are so into me, but it's only been two dates, and you seem to be moving a little fast for me... etc etc."

Keep in mind that most guys will hear this, but it'll mean little to nothing to them... good luck.

 

[32swf]

This is the email he sends me last night when he got home:

): Thank you for spending time with me. I usually don't drink so much except when SCOTS comes around. I had a wonderful time. I really just don't know what to say to you. I can't wait to see you again. I keep writing things and then erasing... I really am so happy to have met you, goodnight (or good day, which ever comes first)

THEN he calls tonight when he got off of work, asking when we can go out again. He's not being a challenge at all! I guess I'm used to doing a little chasing, and not having a guy being so eager so soon. Maybe I should just enjoy it, but it makes it seem like he's TOO into me for just having met me. It's just strange to me, and I'm getting a little cautious.

 

[CLOONEY]

yeah tough one, he is infatuated. Guess you will just have to put up with it, if you go cold on him, he will most likely become further infatuated. If you give him the attention back, he will probably love it for a while and then after a year or so he will loose interest in you. Just be yourself, see him when you can etc, eventually this phase will pass and he will start fighting with you about things he doenst like. Either way you have a problem, this is the problem with relationships, and the human race I guess, never satisfied. Just have fun with it and take it easy!

 

[Golden Arms]

damn i was just like that guy with this one chick i dated a year ago. my emails weren't as bad as this guy but bad nonetheless, not too mention i emailed her like 20 times a day at work

then of course, she completely blew me off without warning and I sat around and wondered why - until I found this site

so i suggest you dump this guy and refer him to this site - for his own good

 

[NatureGuy]

If you like him enough and think he has
good long-term potential, you can
"manage" the relationship until he
gets over his infatuation. Then he'll be
more real and you can proceed in a more
balanced way. A little story that comes
to mind: I know a woman (now 40), who married a guy 10 years ago largely because he presented greater
challenge at the time than another
guy she knew at the time. Now years
later she tells me she made a big
mistake. The guy she married was a
real challenge alright - and it never changed - he's cool, aloof, a bit dumb (same job for 20 years) and she feels nothing for him now ! (worse than
nothing actually - divorce in the making)

 

[LJC]

Tell him exactly what you told us.

 

[Legend]

dump this guy because he shows interest to soon to fast?

Maybe give him some more time....maybe get to know him better. You are 32 and are not getting any younger. The games should end at this age. You know what is right....who knows, this guy could be nuts, maybe not. Love can make people do real stupid ****.

He's not a challenge.....good reason to get rid of him.

i fvcking hate people

 

[THA REALNESS]

Dump him. He'll hate you,then hate all women ,then stop hating women and start dating them for a while,then find a reason to dump his new girl and look for an excuse to hate women again,start playing chicks and looking only for ONS's,somehow look for an excuse to bump into you ,bump into you then make a peace offering ,start dating you again,you'll automatically fall for his new attitude( of course ),he'll be expecting it ,he'll try to lay you,then he'll lay you ,then he'll dump you,then you'll love him.


It's fate.

 

[jakethasnake]

Are you boning him yet? If the sex is good, stick around.

 

[MVPlaya]

Your worried that you're not going to like him? He should be worried, not you... you women are confused.

NeXt!!!

 

[sql]

such a predicament. damned if you do, damned if you dont.

it sounds like you qualify him as a potential LTR, but i think before you do he has to get over this infatuation thing..

its all smiles and roses while hes on this relationship high, but we all know infatuation isnt a very good, solid relationship building block. it doesnt sound like you've known him too long, and for only 2 dates that you've had together, im sure hes filling in the gaps he doesnt know about you with his own perfect woman fantasy.

i dont think you're going to be able to get anywhere in a relationship with him until he grounds himself in reality..

i suggest you have a talk with him and say something like, "i know you like me and i think thats great, but why dont we just not talk about that stuff yet, and let things happen as they will". that might take some of the pressure off.

2 cents

 

[rocco]

i think so far therealness and natureguy have given great answers.

im in a very similar situation like this one, so im listening and learning . keep up the good work people !

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by 32swf
...He's not being a challenge at all! I guess I'm used to doing a little chasing, and not having a guy being so eager so soon. Maybe I should just enjoy it, but it makes it seem like he's TOO into me for just having met me. It's just strange to me, and I'm getting a little cautious.

Sounds like he doesn't know how to play yet--and probably won't get it right until a few more GFs down the road. Rather--when you dump him, you can do him a favor and direct him to some material (DYD, Doc, here, Copeland etc--whatever, any one of them will help him)--THEN it will take a few GFs for him to get it right.

In the meantime, your radar (getting cautious) is not to be ignored. If you pull back (and you will) he'll chase all the more doing what he's doing now, except he'll be more desperate, or more insistent with it. And that will make it easy for you to NEXT him.

But now--??? Probably not so easy--wait for him to get worse, then it'll be easier for you.

This won't change him around so that it'll all be good for you, but sit him down and explain what he's doing wrong, where it's going and why you have to LJBF him now (for his own good--and yours) and then give him homework (read the bible.) Might as well do it now, IMO.

I dunno--looking deep into the mysts of my crystal ball (Ok, it's a snow scene filled with water and white flakes--you use what you've got, Ok?) I see flowers coming to you at work, some heartfelt romantic lines written out in cards, some dramatic, public gestures, and you going gooey for a short time and then retching--and then you run into the arms of the first jerk that comes along just so you can get away from the horror!

Yeah...sit down and talk with him. LJBF him and send him here.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by Legend
dump this guy because he shows interest to soon to fast?

Maybe give him some more time....maybe get to know him better. You are 32 and are not getting any younger. The games should end at this age. You know what is right....who knows, this guy could be nuts, maybe not. Love can make people do real stupid ****.

He's not a challenge.....good reason to get rid of him.

i fvcking hate people

well said!

 

[silverwex]

Tell him of a website you know of...

For his own good!!!

 

[trevor2003]

i thought this was a place for men to get advice about women??

i don't want to sound like a jerk, but maybe the girl who started this thread should check out the cosmo board

 

[Bonhomme]

This will take a bit of finesse

So he's a way above average frustrated chump.

Nature Guy, sql, and Tesque Red are on the right track here. Out-and-out nexting him is kinda like burning the barn to get rid of the rats. It may end up going that way, but it looks like he has a bit too much potential to just toss out.

This will take a bit of finesse. You just may have to temporarily LJBF him until time demotes you from goddess to human being status in his starry eyes.

Sending him here would be a good idea -- after this thread drops out of sight.