Had a fight... or a breakup... or a semi-breakup with Plate #2.
This is a girl I've written about before. A year ago she was a oneitis. I flipped the script and had her chasing me. For five months it was all good: I had a strong frame, she was being great, I was spinning plates and wasn't having any beta relapses. She's a cool girl, if not a little insecure and inexperienced. I'd say she's slept with maybe one or two other guys before me and is a bit of a homebody like me - definitely not on any kind of carousels.
She recently dropped the bomb that she wanted a relationship, but I was also really into this other girl (Plate 1) so I wasn't prepared to be exclusive.
I since spoke with Plate 1 about things and pretty clear that Plate 1 is better suited as a FB rather than a GF. It got me thinking about going next step with Plate 2, who had been acting distant lately, so I took her out for dinner and a movie to see how things go.
When we get back to my place I notice things are still a little off. We make out and it's weak, so I ask her what's up. She says she doesn't think it's working between us, she says she's just not convinced I'm really interested in her. I tell her of course I'm interested in her - why else would I be taking her out? - and that I'm open to getting serious.
Well, she starts going all cold and says how things have gotten too complicated. She says things weren't romantic enough between us. She says that because of our past we missed out on all the fun, early-dating stuff - and that maybe it would've been better if we'd met as strangers and didn't have the history.
This was crazy to me because she was the one that brought up being exclusive a few weeks ago, and now all of a sudden things weren't good enough. I started explaining why things have been fine... that we have been having fun... that I really am interested in her... f*ck, I realized - I was somehow chasing her again!
I didn't like how the script was being flipped back on me so I just told her: listen, we probably both have some walls up here because of our past but I'll put the effort in if you will. Just no more drama. She says she doesn't think it'll work and that maybe she's just too messed up to be with anyone.
I tell her ok, you can go now. I turn away from her and watch the TV. She tries making a few jokes and I don't move my gaze away from the TV. She starts slowly packing up and makes small talk, tells me a story, but I just give one word answers and keep looking at the TV. She slowwwwlllyy puts on her coat and boots then walks back into the living room and says, "Ok.... I'm gonna go." I just keep staring at the TV and say "see ya."
I admittedly have my guard up here and maybe I'm a little too quick on the draw with these SoSuave freeze-out tactics... but that's just because I want to ensure I never slip back into oneitis-ville with this one.
I don't necessarily want to blow it up with this girl but I had to act in that situation because I could feel myself starting to care more than her and I know what that leads to. How do you think I did and what would be the next play if I'm to keep dating this one? I feel like I should wait for her to contact me, but she's the insecure/fears confrontation sort, so I wouldn't count on it. It might very well be done, but that'd be very disappointing.
This is a girl I've written about before. A year ago she was a oneitis. I flipped the script and had her chasing me. For five months it was all good: I had a strong frame, she was being great, I was spinning plates and wasn't having any beta relapses. She's a cool girl, if not a little insecure and inexperienced. I'd say she's slept with maybe one or two other guys before me and is a bit of a homebody like me - definitely not on any kind of carousels.
She recently dropped the bomb that she wanted a relationship, but I was also really into this other girl (Plate 1) so I wasn't prepared to be exclusive.
I since spoke with Plate 1 about things and pretty clear that Plate 1 is better suited as a FB rather than a GF. It got me thinking about going next step with Plate 2, who had been acting distant lately, so I took her out for dinner and a movie to see how things go.
When we get back to my place I notice things are still a little off. We make out and it's weak, so I ask her what's up. She says she doesn't think it's working between us, she says she's just not convinced I'm really interested in her. I tell her of course I'm interested in her - why else would I be taking her out? - and that I'm open to getting serious.
Well, she starts going all cold and says how things have gotten too complicated. She says things weren't romantic enough between us. She says that because of our past we missed out on all the fun, early-dating stuff - and that maybe it would've been better if we'd met as strangers and didn't have the history.
This was crazy to me because she was the one that brought up being exclusive a few weeks ago, and now all of a sudden things weren't good enough. I started explaining why things have been fine... that we have been having fun... that I really am interested in her... f*ck, I realized - I was somehow chasing her again!
I didn't like how the script was being flipped back on me so I just told her: listen, we probably both have some walls up here because of our past but I'll put the effort in if you will. Just no more drama. She says she doesn't think it'll work and that maybe she's just too messed up to be with anyone.
I tell her ok, you can go now. I turn away from her and watch the TV. She tries making a few jokes and I don't move my gaze away from the TV. She starts slowly packing up and makes small talk, tells me a story, but I just give one word answers and keep looking at the TV. She slowwwwlllyy puts on her coat and boots then walks back into the living room and says, "Ok.... I'm gonna go." I just keep staring at the TV and say "see ya."
I admittedly have my guard up here and maybe I'm a little too quick on the draw with these SoSuave freeze-out tactics... but that's just because I want to ensure I never slip back into oneitis-ville with this one.
I don't necessarily want to blow it up with this girl but I had to act in that situation because I could feel myself starting to care more than her and I know what that leads to. How do you think I did and what would be the next play if I'm to keep dating this one? I feel like I should wait for her to contact me, but she's the insecure/fears confrontation sort, so I wouldn't count on it. It might very well be done, but that'd be very disappointing.
