How you carry yourself (your body language)

[Ricky]

Guys, I've always wondered alot about how one should really carry themselves.

Specifically I see alot of guys walk around like they are hard asses. You know chest pushed out with a sneer on their face or somehow looking irritated and staring down everyone.

On one hand I want to have a very confident look, but I don't want to try to act like every hard dumbass out there.

Also as far as eye contact, do you always lock it with girls. I do most of the time.

Sometimes if a HB10 walks by I will look at her level then look up and away and act like I'm stuck up or arrogant. It is interesting to use that on girls who normally are stuck up.

So what do you think the best look to keep is?

I think if you are well dressed and hold eye contact with women that is a key, but what image do you project.

Is there an actor you would recommend. One time on a post someone recommended walking like Steven Seagal ( not sure if thats how you spell it)

 

[iveyleeger]

A lot of times I am one of those sneering dumbaszes. Just b/c of the stress of my particular life situation. And it scares women away. They look, and look away. It's bad. Don't do that.

However, when I have my head together, and I'm in a decent mood, and relaxed, if I walk leisurely, make eye contact, and smile, that's what women like. They will even come up to me then.

So smile, don't sneer. Walk slowly and look around you to include everyone and project confidence. Act as though you are the host of the party, everyone is your guest, you want to break the ice, put them at ease, etc. Show the world your love, and they will love you back. Not easy, but gold when you can do it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm a bit different. I always have a slight smile and walk at a purposeful gait. It's easy to approach or just say "hello" to a passing woman because I look and feel as if I'm in a good mood.

Just ask yourself, how would you like a woman to look when you approach her? Open, warm and inviting or someone cold, aloof and unapproachable?

 

[Chrispy]

Something I didn't really realize was looking approachable made me approachable. If I felt like s** and had the pis** look, or if I was staring down girls and looked like all that...the latter is intimadating.

Keep it simple! Smile, be happy, and make the girl wonder why you're in a good mood. She'll have a reason to be receptive!

 

[Ricky]

OK I never thought about looking approachable.

ON the other hand out of all my years I haven't been approached that much being a guy. Now some of my better looking friends have been, and girls will typically try to get into your vicinity or be near you rather than just approach and start talking.

But with a couple of my gfs they did approach me, only because i was an AFC and didn't approach at the time.

 

[ObieJuan]

I have found that posture makes an incredible difference in how people perceive you whether it be men or women. As a RAFC I have started lifting weights, it has helped my confidence which has in effect made me want to stand tall (I am 6'1" anyway ). Whenever I am around a girl I like I smile and show confidence; with good posture it gives a great vibe to women. I walked into a hardware store the other day doing exactly these things and this cute cashier girl glanced at me and smiled out of the corner of her eyes then continued to help her customers. I knew I had to talk to her, she said if she didn't have a boyfriend she would date me (good sign, she's honest and not a whor). Of course I check back periodically to see if that has changed

Anyway, I used to slouch and it took a while for me to see girls like the signals I am giving off with my posture- that I am a great person that must be going places because I have the right attitude. Stand tall! Smile- because you never know where your next opportunity presents itself.

 

[BigDawg]

I'm with Francisco on this one. I try to smile at everyone I make eye contact with and I try to walk with a purposeful but relaxed gait. I've noticed that when I've got it down, I get people looking at me everywhere I go, but I often have to work at it because if I don't actively remember to smile, my natural expression looks like a scowl (even if I'm not angry), and people hurry to get out of my way.

I think you do get noticed more, and in a positive way, if your body language reflects confidence and an air of "Nothing in the world bothers me," but without looking like an arrogant jerk. On the other hand, slouching and scowling just make you invisible, and that's counterproductive. But invisibility can be useful if you find yourself surrounded by a bunch of schmucks, though. Ha

 

[scordate]

i always try to whistle a happy tune

when people look I smile at then

this makes me stand out happy relaxed ( body wise ) and most importantly; not a threat and not apparently out playing the field - just a happy guy out shopping or whatever

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by BigDawg
...
I think you do get noticed more, and in a positive way, if your body language reflects confidence and an air of "Nothing in the world bothers me," but without looking like an arrogant jerk. ...

This is what works for me. Chin up just a bit, a bit of a smile and a glint in my eye, definitely gets me noticed. PLUS because more people (women) take notice, it's easy to make eye contact! Approaches are much easier when walking toward one another smiling.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
...and walk at a purposeful gait.

Haha, yes 'purposeful' vs. wandering about aimlessly!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Haha, yes 'purposeful' vs. wandering about aimlessly!

You laugh but guys seriously, look around in the malls or the grocery store the next time you are out. A lot of guys DO just wander about, some even lumber around like a drunk elephant!
Standing upright and with the self assurance and purpose of a DJ makes you easily stand out in the herd!

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

I'm all for this one - looking approachable makes one heck of a difference. Once in a while I catch my reflection in a window or something as I'm walking by. I try to keep an eye on my posture because I'm 6' 5", and tend to walk slightly bent forward. I've noticed not only my posture, but the expression on my face, smile (or lack thereof) makes a huge difference in my overall appearance and apparent "approchability". You can bet a dime to a dollar that girls notice these things too, but with greater scrutiny. They've had all their lives to perfect it.

Today I was at an amusement park having a good time, so I was being real, smiling, chatting easily (talking to lots of folks I've never seen before), and nary a care in the world when this hb8 with gorgeous blue eyes (with some guy in tow nonetheless) strikes up a conversation with me seemingly out of the blue. Not once but three times (after I thought each convo was over and turned around - I was in front of her in line). Of course I obliged each time and chatted her up just a bit.

Now this isn't the sort of thing that happens to me very often, but not until I read this thread did I realize what happened. I made myself approchable. Needless to say, I learned a valuable lesson today that won't go "un practiced" until it's just part of my persona.

 

[Ricky]

I just notice alot of guys walking like hardasses. But thats in the nightclub scene as well.

I see a ton of AFC behavior though when I walk past a goodlooking girl with her boyfriend there. It's like the guy will feell insecure once I walk past and he'll suddenly put his arm around her or kiss her. I'm guessing they do that to show that in an insecure manner.

 

[inf82nd]

scowl

Man i'm glad to see that i'm not the only one that has that so call scowl .The look that your about to kill someone .
I tell them its the way i look . I'm not angry ...
Heres to the scowl faces of the world ....:cheer:

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: scowl

Originally posted by inf82nd
Man i'm glad to see that i'm not the only one that has that so call scowl .The look that your about to kill someone .
I tell them its the way i look . I'm not angry ...
Heres to the scowl faces of the world ....:cheer:

You know its true what they say about it takes many more muscles to frown than it does to smile. Is walking around with a scowl really worth the extra effort?

 

[BigDawg]

Re: scowl

Originally posted by inf82nd
Man i'm glad to see that i'm not the only one that has that so call scowl .The look that your about to kill someone .
I tell them its the way i look . I'm not angry ...
Heres to the scowl faces of the world ....:cheer:

Cheers! :cheer:
For me, I had the message driven home that I need to smile more, when a stripper at a strip club told me that (more than a year ago). You know you really need help if a stripper of all people tells you that your frown scares people. Like you, I wasn't angry at that time. I mean, who'd be angry while hanging out at a strip club?

LOL

p.s. I haven't been back to a strip club since then.