How would you guys have done it?

[Thefakeslimshady]

There's this girl who I've known for a while that kept me as one of her orbiters back when I was a complete extreme AFC. I didn't like jumping through hoops, playing by her rules, and being an emotional tampon just to get sex on her terms and when she felt like it, but I still did it. I had no frame, It was demeaning, and more effort than it was worth. Especially because I'm sure there were a bunch of other guys she had in the same situation as me. We did fck a couple times, -girls do fck their beta orbiters btw- but after a bunch of fights here and there we ended it.

We started talking again recently and I really wanna bang her again. But it seems like she's trying to turn me back into the old version of me. All of the new DJ tendencies I'm practicing seem to push her further away. I don't want to listen to her problems and have boring conversations with her about stupid crap. So I keep my convos really short now. I texted her trying to initiate a meet up. Did I handle it the right way?

Me: do you have class every single day during this week.
Her: no I don't
Me: let's hangout at your place this Friday night. I'll have a case with our names on it
Her: I have midterms and I'll be studying

( at this point I figured why even reply back to her. She clearly gave me a NO and even if the reason was legitimate it was still a NO.)

6 hours later she texts me again

Her: maybe the weekend after? (This weekend is 2 weeks away from today)
Me: hmm maybe

I feel Like her counter offer was just BS. She sent it 6 hours later. Set it for 2 weeks from now. And used the word "maybe". It seems like a trap to lure me into chasing her and then when the day comes she's gonna flake. ( I wanted to text "yea that's fine I'll see you then", but it seemed like I was handing my balls to her then )

1.Did I respond the right way or did I come off butthurt?
2.I do want to meet up, but do I lose my frame if I agree to her feeble attempt of a counteroffer?
3. I'm going NC on her now, but if she does try to contact me how do I respond?

I'm still new to all this and just trying to learn. Any feedback would be great

 

[GetFit66]

The way you talk to her reminds me of this guy. Maybe she sees you in the same way.

I would've said let me know or something to that extent, I'm not committing to maybe. If she is indeed trying to take you back to what you were, I'd next and move onto others.

 

[way2smart]

Man that part where you said "I'll have a case with our names on it" is super creepy.

In fact you are still acting like AFC.

When she said she can meet 2 weeks from now you should have said:
"Nevermind, I will forget about it by then"

She still thinks you are an AFC, and I think you should go NC for life with this girl.

 

[Thefakeslimshady]

Thanks for the replies guys. Hahaha is that Johnny Bravo ! Yea it's like I said, I'm still new to all this and I do revert back to showing a lot of AFC qualities , especially with this girl. It's hard changing your whole thought process and perspective on things after thinking in a certain way your whole life.

Yea that was pretty creepy now that I think about it. But I used to say similar stuff in the past whenever we tried meeting up and it worked.

"Nevermind, I will forget about it then"... Damn, I shoulda said that. Haha

 

[Between_The_Lines]

I'm still new to all this and I do revert back to showing a lot of AFC qualities , especially with this girl. It's hard changing your whole thought process and perspective on things after thinking in a certain way your whole life.

It takes longer for some than it does for others for it to click and become a part of you, but don't get discouraged, and don't be afraid to screw up either.

The good news is that I see a refusal to participate in her orbiter sweepstakes. Don't be any girl's orbiter for any reason under any circumstances - ever. It may be best to begin applying your newfound knowledge on a new chick though. Now that you've been made aware, you now know that what may seem like a decent shot at getting a crack with a specific chick if you just remain patient and take it slow and let her guide you through the process is really nothing more than taking a number to set up an appointment for your castration.

 

[way2smart]

This is just me, but I don't ever tell a girl "let me know when...."

Not just you, telling a girl to let you know is giving away the power to decide. It means you are no longer in control.

 

[Suspens]

Her: maybe the weekend after?

27 hours later

Thefakeslimshady: k

And then block her number.

It seems like a trap to lure me into chasing her and then when the day comes she's gonna flake

:crackup:

 

[Thefakeslimshady]

That's why I replied back with "hmm maybe". I could have said something better, but overall I still maintained my frame and didn't give her the power to decide. And yea I'm done contacting this girl, for my own good.
The hard part is gonna be ignoring her when she reaches out, she even goes as far as sending me racy pics of herself to get my attention.

 

[GetFit66]

Idk maybe it's just me but I don't like sounding like such a ****, nor do I care for dealing with such women :yawn:

I don't care to walk a minefield at home one day or live in a warzone. Merh so suave annoys me.

 

[Yewki]

Her: maybe the weekend after?

27 hours later

Thefakeslimshady: k

And then block her number.

There's being aloof, and then there's trying too hard to be aloof. That's trying too hard to be aloof.

She'll suspect you're angry if you just send "k", especially after a 27 hour delay. You're better off sending nothing at all instead of "k" IMO.

Also not sure why you would block her number except as some form of passive aggressive retaliation?

 

[Suspens]

There's being aloof, and then there's trying too hard to be aloof. That's trying too hard to be aloof. She'll suspect you're angry if you just send "k", especially after a 27 hour delay. You're better off sending nothing at all instead of "k" IMO.

Why, because of the 27 hours delay?

It shouldn't matter what she will think or suspect anyway, as it isn't worth contacting her or replying to her texts. That study excuse, combined with a counter offer for 14 days later shows clear lack of interest.

Also not sure why you would block her number except as some form of passive aggressive retaliation?

Maybe in order to go NC and forgetting about a girl who doesn't have time for you and can't accept the "new you"?

 

[SmooveMooves]

I don't see anyone giving you the praise you deserve for that interaction. You handled it like a true DJ (for the most part) Thefakeslimshady.

1. You didn't ask her to hang out, you suggested it. DJs never ask for time, they demand or imply. +1

2. After an obvious BS answer, you didn't reply and saved that bs for the birds. +1

3. When she suggested some more BS, you didn't go for it and jump at a possible 2 week in advance meet up. Although your reply wasn't bad, the best possible answer you could have given was what Way2Smart reccomended: 'Nvm, I'll forget by then', so +1/2.

IMO, it seems like your DJ transition is coming in smoothly, I believe you maintained frame. I also believe she'll come around. People are saying forget her but I've managed to fūck chicks from my AFC past and it's a great feeling.

Especially when the try to date you after you've piped them because of how much 'different' you have become. Haha

P.S: That "k" and blocking her is lame. Wayyy too butthurt. If a DJ really didn't care he'd delete the message thread, and move to another chick. Not go all out and block her.

Also, notice I said delete the message thread. Not her number. Cause' I'm willing to bet bread (thats cash) that she's gonna hit you up sometime I'm the future and then you can just maintain your frame from there.

All in all. Good shít Slim

+1

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Meh, I mean you still could bang her I guess but it probably wouldn't be worth it. Keep in mind that first impressions matter a lot. I'd probably call this a no go, but that's just me.

 

[way2smart]

All in all. Good shít Slim

+1

Yeah I think OP did fine. Most of us did worse in our AFC days.

 

[Chico]

"We started talking again recently and I really wanna bang her again."

Who initiated the contact and how? If you initiated, the fact that she is brushing you off is not a good sign. If she initiated, she may genuinely be busy. In that case, the ball is in her court. Don't contact her. Go out and have a great time with someone else. If she likes you and is interested in spending time with you, she WILL respond in a few days. That whole maybe later crap is just a line. She does not want to seem easy and available. Plus, its a good test to see how you will respond to uncertainty.

"let's hangout at your place this Friday night. I'll have a case with our names on it."

That may have worked in the past, but if not sure how effective you were if you were just another orbiter. In my book, a man initiates contact for a date and goes on an actual DATE....even if the goal is just sex. Drinking beer at her place may sound to her like, "let get drunk and screw," and if she has been down that path with you already and you were just an orbiter, perhaps a new strategy is needed? An actual date?

 

[Thefakeslimshady]

Thanks for the input an encouraging words guys. Yea, maybe a proper date would have been a more ideal way to go about it. I'll keep that in mind for the next girl.

UPDATE:
Soooo I may or may not have fcked this up by letting my emotions get to me. I'm still a noob so I'll just mark it down as a learning experience. yesterday was the day I had originally asked her to hangout and she said she would be busy studying. We'll I was drinking quite a bit and I open up my snapchat and lo' and behold she has put up pics of her out in the city bar hopping. This was probably a **** test to see how I respond - a true DJ would probably have brushed it off and wrote her out of his life.- But I was drunk as hell and felt EXTREMELY disrespected. So I texted her....haha

Me: good luck studying for your midterms tonight.
Her: sorry friend dragged me out

( I don't reply to this text, I really didn't know how to reply back honestly)

30 minutes go by and she texts me again

Her: Come hangout with me at my place next Friday

( I have not replied back to this text also. It's funny how she wasn't sure about us hanging out in the first place and now she's practically telling me to come over to fck. Is this just her way of assuring herself she still has me on a hook?)

What would y'all do?

I want to text back "Naw I have other plans, thanks anyway." But seems like the time frame to send that has ended. It's been almost a day since her last text so it'll come off a bit spiteful. Maybe just continue Ignoring


On the other hand my d1ck wants me to send "Sure. If I have my car available that day I'll make it". Only After I make sure she understands I won't stand for lying and playin games though..


How do I play this out? I really have no clue and feel kinda lost.

On one hand I have a guaranteed lay and can turn her into a steady FB if I play my cards right . On the other hand, I let her know that I'm a man that doesn't tolerate BS, but I will most probably lose her.

PS: This girl used to be a close friend that had me FZ but I broke out and then eventually got turned into an orbiter due to my own inexperience and AFCness. And she's a goddamn freak in the sheets. by far the best sex I've ever had.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Naa I can't, I'm gonna be studying.....

lol jk don't do that, it might make you look butthurt.

Think about it for a few days in an detached kind of way and think about what you wanna do. What's in your best interest?

 

[Thefakeslimshady]

Hahaha that's pure gold. Why can't I think of these comebacks on the spot. I definitely would have sent it just for the hell of it

 

[Mr_Maximus]

There's this girl who I've known for a while that kept me as one of her orbiters back when I was a complete extreme AFC. I didn't like jumping through hoops, playing by her rules, and being an emotional tampon just to get sex on her terms and when she felt like it, but I still did it. I had no frame, It was demeaning, and more effort than it was worth. Especially because I'm sure there were a bunch of other guys she had in the same situation as me. We did fck a couple times, -girls do fck their beta orbiters btw- but after a bunch of fights here and there we ended it.

We started talking again recently and I really wanna bang her again. But it seems like she's trying to turn me back into the old version of me. All of the new DJ tendencies I'm practicing seem to push her further away. I don't want to listen to her problems and have boring conversations with her about stupid crap. So I keep my convos really short now. I texted her trying to initiate a meet up. Did I handle it the right way?

Me: do you have class every single day during this week.
Her: no I don't
Me: let's hangout at your place this Friday night. I'll have a case with our names on it
Her: I have midterms and I'll be studying

( at this point I figured why even reply back to her. She clearly gave me a NO and even if the reason was legitimate it was still a NO.)

6 hours later she texts me again

Her: maybe the weekend after? (This weekend is 2 weeks away from today)
Me: hmm maybe

I feel Like her counter offer was just BS. She sent it 6 hours later. Set it for 2 weeks from now. And used the word "maybe". It seems like a trap to lure me into chasing her and then when the day comes she's gonna flake. ( I wanted to text "yea that's fine I'll see you then", but it seemed like I was handing my balls to her then )

1.Did I respond the right way or did I come off butthurt?
2.I do want to meet up, but do I lose my frame if I agree to her feeble attempt of a counteroffer?
3. I'm going NC on her now, but if she does try to contact me how do I respond?

I'm still new to all this and just trying to learn. Any feedback would be great

I dont think you responded in the wrong way. You mirrored her with your maybe so she can interpret that in the same way that she meant it when she said it to you.

When are her midterms? If she is really studying, two weeks from now might be the earliest she can do it.

But its a Friday night, surely she could put the studying aside and take a little time to unwind. It seems that seeing you is just not that important to her at this time.

A better response would have been "no, I cant make it then" and see if she tries again.

 

[Mr_Maximus]

30 minutes go by and she texts me again

Her: Come hangout with me at my place next Friday


Wait a couple of days to respond and tell her you will see her then.