How would you deal with this?

[AM349]

Hi guys,

I have this plate that i have been seeing for the past weeks and the sex is great and she overall is just a nice person to be with.

But after every date she always “creates” a problem that she is not the only girl i talk to. Or that i am just using her for the sex.

How would you girls handle this?

For example she says **** out of the blue like:
- “i don’t see this going anywhere because you want to talk to other woman, i want you to only talk to me”
- “you only want too **** me, i am not looking for that”

How would you respond?

Just make a joke about it, or give her some validation?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

For example she says **** out of the blue like:
- “i don’t see this going anywhere because you want to talk to other woman, i want you to only talk to me”
- “you only want too **** me, i am not looking for that”

I would reply like usual: "I told you from the start we're not exclusive. If you cannot handle sharing me, perhaps you should leave."

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Do you take her out anywhere OP? Or do you see her only behind closed doors?

 

[Serenity]

Have you made it clear at any point that you're not looking for anything serious or do you just keep dodging it to continue to lead her on?

I would respond with roughly what I want, if that's something casual then I'd just say so, even if that means she'll walk away.

If I'm actually open for something more, but not quite there yet, then I might keep deflecting until I've made up my mind about it.

 

[AM349]

I would reply like usual: "I told you from the start we're not exclusive. If you cannot handle sharing me, perhaps you should leave."

Thanks for your answer. Ik ben ook nederlands btw. The thing is, i don’t mind ending up with her.

She has the qualities i am looking for in a LTR. But i don’t want to show her to early to much interest and f up.

 

[AM349]

Do you take her out anywhere OP? Or do you see her only behind closed doors?

Yes i take her out to proper places. She is a fun person to just hang out with, not just a hole i want to fill hahaha

 

[AM349]

Have you made it clear at any point that you're not looking for anything serious or do you just keep dodging it to continue to lead her on?

I would respond with roughly what I want, if that's something casual then I'd just say so, even if that means she'll walk away.

If I'm actually open for something more, but not quite there yet, then I might keep deflecting until I've made up my mind about it.

Thanks for the reply. I am open for more with her. She has qualities i am looking for in a LTR.

That is why i asked for advice because i would useally just tell her to f off and let me do my thing, but i am actually willing to let the other plates down if she keeps behaving.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The thing is, i don’t mind ending up with her.

Meaning, you're willing to settle for her. Personally, when a woman says she wants me to only talk to her, she's out.

 

[AM349]

Meaning, you're willing to settle for her. Personally, when a woman says she wants me to only talk to her, she's out.

I would be fine to settle with a woman that has the qualities i am looking for.

How would you handle the situation if a woman that you would want to settle with is acting in this way?

 

[Clockwerk50]

It don’t see it as a problem, more like a **** test.

If it is a plate it will eventually break.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I would be fine to settle with a woman that has the qualities i am looking for.

How would you handle the situation if a woman that you would want to settle with is acting in this way?

I would ask myself if insecurity is something I'd be willing to deal with on an ongoing basis, because this girl is insecure if you've been exhibiting that you're open to an LTR, which you have been doing with your behavior (taking her out, enjoying the non-sexual time, etc). Reason being is this girl is insecure and it usually doesn't change until she does whatever healing work she needs to do on herself.

One thing you can do is say you're interested in an LTR, but she needs to self-reflect on how to stop her insecure behavior. If it's from past bad relationships that's one thing but if she sees you as being borderline "out of her league", it's not going to change.