How to use this to my advantage?

[Beachbum5963]

Ok I have helped raise my niece and nephew since they were born. My parents adopted them when they were born bc my sister isn't capable of raising them. They are now ages 11 and 7. I've been really close to them and have spent more time and money on them than anything else. As a result my social circle has dwindled to about 2 friends. I'm actually ok with this bc I enjoy spending time with the kids. The problem is most of the girls around here in this small town want guys who are real popular and party. Well that's not me. So how do I use this to my advantage without seeming boring and AFC?

 

[AAAgent]

I'm actually in a similar boat. I raised my niece who is about to turn 14 in 2 weeks since she was 3 years old. Her mother, my cousin was a party animal then and always left my niece with my grandmother who lived with us. she doesn't have a father that is active in her life either so im like her big brother, friend, fatherish figure. She also has a half sister now that is turning 5 soon, who i raised for for a year. My nieces are a huge part of my life and how i use it is use my experience of being playful with my nieces on girls.

I used to trick my niece into giving her kisses on the cheek by telling her i had a secret to tell her, or that there was a bug or something on her face or shoulder, i even convinced her one time i could hypnotize her and i took a pencil and started swaying it back and forth (totally did not think it would work on her but it did), and i use these same things on females and they love it. As to your social circle, that's just something you have to slowly build up, I wouldn't mention raising your nieces or anything as it doesn't really help you much. If anything people find it weird that you love little girls (its happened to me before. My father used to think i might have an issue as well but now they understand she's just really important to me).

little girls are really not that different from older girls when you think about it. Spoiling a little girl will just make her walk all over you, instead you gotta be the big bad older figure and nice to her sometimes. Work on expanding your circle and also start an Approach Journal.

Approaching more women outside of your circle will increase your social circle as well. Once again, i'd refrain from mentioning more than a sentence or two about your nieces, they may mean the world to you but its probably something you should keep to yourself as not many people will understand that.

 

[alxrose04]

I'd say increase your social circle too. Have you thought about traveling outside of your town? The raising kid story is GREAT! Women will love that story but you have to mention it at the right time. I'd say way later on in the conversation when you guys seem to be connecting. Treat it as a reward for her opening up because that is something special to you that you only share with special people.

 

[AAAgent]

I'd say increase your social circle too. Have you thought about traveling outside of your town? The raising kid story is GREAT! Women will love that story but you have to mention it at the right time. I'd say way later on in the conversation when you guys seem to be connecting. Treat it as a reward for her opening up because that is something special to you that you only share with special people.

I agree with alxrose about letting a girl know this as a reward, as letting her know something special about you because she is special but a girl never becomes special to you overnight. This is something that happens through time and building a relationship/trust. Maybe after a few dates, then when the right time arises and the topic comes up or you brush up on it, then you spill the beans. If you do broach the topic before she becomes special, i'd just mention your nieces in a brief sentence or two. So it's not like you're hiding something from her but that you actually trust her to know this very sensitive/important information about you.

If i went around telling everyone that my nieces mean the world to me, now everyone knows one of my weakness's.