Paranoid
Senior Don Juan
It is kind of ironic that I got this email today.Just a few days back our illustrious Mr.Fingers gave us a great post on How to escape the friends zone.Well, to cut a long story short, here is an article(from DATEstacker.com) which might drive home the point Fingz was trying to make.
I get a lot of emails like this:
"I'm friends with this girl and I want to know how to get her to like me."
So, rather than answering them all individually, I'd like to answer it here for my valued newsletter subscribers. I'm about to reveal to you some pretty advanced knowledge - turning a woman friend into a lover isn't only rare, it's also extremely difficult. Most "unenlightened" men simply won't be able to do this. If you don't know what you are doing you could easily lose everything - even the friendship.
But, if you can get good at turning friends into lovers you will have an invaluable skill... you'll be able to go in "under the radar" so to speak by befriending a woman before trying to "pick her up." Sure, the process is slower but for men who aren't in a hurry it's great. I will actually do this so that I can get an idea of a woman's true nature while we are "friends" before I begin to date her. I use it as a screening process so that I don't end up with shallow, unscrupulous, or dumb women.
Here's the difficulty...
The woman considers you a friend so, when you start laying the moves on her, she is going to get freaked out, resist your advances, and probably avoid you for a while. So, the challenge is this... getting her to like you before she knows that you like her. It sounds a little grade school when you put it in those terms but that is the essence of the solution.
But, the nature of friendships is one where you just "let your hair down" and "be yourself." You are just supposed to relax and have a good time... it's a whole other world compared to dating where you are always supposed to be putting your best foot forward.
And this is precisely where men run into trouble. You cannot act like a friend with a woman and expect her to become attracted to you. Instead, you must begin acting like a lover (whether you are one or not) before she can begin considering you as a lover.
Makes sense, doesn't it?
supposed to start acting like a lover I do not mean to make advances on her and, above all, I do not mean that you should start acting really "nice" around her. What I'm saying is that you should start to exude the qualities that women are attracted to. The qualities that women look for in lovers. The qualities that are outlined in my book The DateSTACKER Program.
Avoid these typical friend behaviors:
- NEVER allow her to talk to you about other men she is interested in. Change the subject, without being obvious about it, if this ever happens.
- Don't be available to her 24/7. Yes, a friend is always there but, remember, you aren't trying to be a friend, your trying to be a lover. In order to be a lover she needs to like you - but not like you as a friend.
- Don't "just hang out" and do boring stuff. Women want excitement, they want entertainment, they want to go out and have the time of their lives. This is what women are attracted to. Friends hang around the house and watch movies, lovers go out and spend money (just kidding, you don't have to spend $$$ but you do need to put some effort and planning into the activities).
- Don't spill your guts. Best friends talk about all the embarrassing, idiotic things they have done. Lovers, on the other hand, highlight their positive, admirable qualities and experiences. No matter what she says, she WILL look down on you for telling her about all CRAP you did in the past.
After a while, she should start to give off some signals. Maybe she will look deep into your eyes for longer than normal, maybe she will make subtle hints (that you probably won't notice unless you are watching for them), or maybe she will just come out and say she is interested in you.
The funny (and magical) part about this process is that, whether she realizes it at first or not, you guys WILL be dating. When her friends and family see you guys going out and having fun together they will say things to her like "Are you guys dating?" and "Are you interested in him?" Regardless of her answer, the probing questions of her friends will get her mind working in that direction. The next time you guys go out (and have a blast together) it will be in the back of her mind. While she is having a great time with you she will be thinking "Gee, maybe Jenny is right, maybe I do like him... he sure is fun."
And that, my friend, is how it is done.
I get a lot of emails like this:
"I'm friends with this girl and I want to know how to get her to like me."
So, rather than answering them all individually, I'd like to answer it here for my valued newsletter subscribers. I'm about to reveal to you some pretty advanced knowledge - turning a woman friend into a lover isn't only rare, it's also extremely difficult. Most "unenlightened" men simply won't be able to do this. If you don't know what you are doing you could easily lose everything - even the friendship.
But, if you can get good at turning friends into lovers you will have an invaluable skill... you'll be able to go in "under the radar" so to speak by befriending a woman before trying to "pick her up." Sure, the process is slower but for men who aren't in a hurry it's great. I will actually do this so that I can get an idea of a woman's true nature while we are "friends" before I begin to date her. I use it as a screening process so that I don't end up with shallow, unscrupulous, or dumb women.
Here's the difficulty...
The woman considers you a friend so, when you start laying the moves on her, she is going to get freaked out, resist your advances, and probably avoid you for a while. So, the challenge is this... getting her to like you before she knows that you like her. It sounds a little grade school when you put it in those terms but that is the essence of the solution.
But, the nature of friendships is one where you just "let your hair down" and "be yourself." You are just supposed to relax and have a good time... it's a whole other world compared to dating where you are always supposed to be putting your best foot forward.
And this is precisely where men run into trouble. You cannot act like a friend with a woman and expect her to become attracted to you. Instead, you must begin acting like a lover (whether you are one or not) before she can begin considering you as a lover.
Makes sense, doesn't it?
supposed to start acting like a lover I do not mean to make advances on her and, above all, I do not mean that you should start acting really "nice" around her. What I'm saying is that you should start to exude the qualities that women are attracted to. The qualities that women look for in lovers. The qualities that are outlined in my book The DateSTACKER Program.
Avoid these typical friend behaviors:
- NEVER allow her to talk to you about other men she is interested in. Change the subject, without being obvious about it, if this ever happens.
- Don't be available to her 24/7. Yes, a friend is always there but, remember, you aren't trying to be a friend, your trying to be a lover. In order to be a lover she needs to like you - but not like you as a friend.
- Don't "just hang out" and do boring stuff. Women want excitement, they want entertainment, they want to go out and have the time of their lives. This is what women are attracted to. Friends hang around the house and watch movies, lovers go out and spend money (just kidding, you don't have to spend $$$ but you do need to put some effort and planning into the activities).
- Don't spill your guts. Best friends talk about all the embarrassing, idiotic things they have done. Lovers, on the other hand, highlight their positive, admirable qualities and experiences. No matter what she says, she WILL look down on you for telling her about all CRAP you did in the past.
After a while, she should start to give off some signals. Maybe she will look deep into your eyes for longer than normal, maybe she will make subtle hints (that you probably won't notice unless you are watching for them), or maybe she will just come out and say she is interested in you.
The funny (and magical) part about this process is that, whether she realizes it at first or not, you guys WILL be dating. When her friends and family see you guys going out and having fun together they will say things to her like "Are you guys dating?" and "Are you interested in him?" Regardless of her answer, the probing questions of her friends will get her mind working in that direction. The next time you guys go out (and have a blast together) it will be in the back of her mind. While she is having a great time with you she will be thinking "Gee, maybe Jenny is right, maybe I do like him... he sure is fun."
And that, my friend, is how it is done.
