The trick to a happy relationship is seeing each other as complete equals.
This is the first sentence in the article. It's obviously doomed right from the start.
1. He gives you attention from the moment you wake up.
When some chick sleeps over, I'm usually the one to wake up first. I crawl out of bed and go do 5hit, leaving her there. If I wake up with her, she'll drag me back into bed to lay around all day. I hate laying around all day. Fvck that.
2. He feeds not just your body, but your mind.
If you frequently leave her hungry, she'll stick around waiting for you to feed her.
3. He loves surprising you.
Keep the majority of the surprises to when you're fvcking her.
4. He spends time with you because he wants to, not because he feels obligated to.
This is the way SHE should feel, not him. See #2.
5. When he makes plans, you’re a part of them.
Don't stuff her full with your time. See #2.
6. He consults you before he makes big decisions.
Women are attracted to men who make their own decisions, and make decisions for her. They need the man to lead as opposed to following the blind.
7. He doesn’t lie to you because he doesn’t have anything he needs to lie about.
Just don't tell her everything.
8. He tells you that you’re beautiful when you feel your worst.
This causes her to seek validation through compliments. Tell her she's beautiful on occasion when she's least expecting it.
9. He tells you about his day and asks you about yours.
This is general conversation which is necessary in any relationship. It's a given that you converse with anybody you're in consistent contact with. Therefore, this is irrelevant to the discussion.
10. The only time he makes you cry is from happiness.
Wrong. She should be crying from intense emotional spikes, regardless of whether it's due to happiness, sadness, anger, etc. If he causes the emotional spikes, he's doing everything right.
11. He tells you he loves you, but he doesn’t have to, because you already know it.
That's why you tell her on occasion.
12. He’ll give you the bigger half.
The only "bigger" thing he should be giving her is an erect penis.
13. He makes you feel safe.
This is the only one I agree with, but she'll automatically feel safe if she feels he's confident. All the other bull5hit on the list won't make her feel she has a confident man.
14. He keeps his promises.
...because he never makes any.
15. He makes you feel like a woman.
The only way a woman feels like a woman is when her man behaves like a man. He'll do a much better job at behaving like a man if he ignores all the 5hit on this list.