How to treat a girl nice but not end in the friendzone

[jiggolo71]

Im asking this question because of not enough experience with girls im 20 years old. Where is the line between treating girls good like a gentleman and being too nice like a simp. My only experience was when I treated girls bad they liked me more sexually than the ones I treated like a friend.
So how do I need to treat them for more than just becoming friends?

 

[CollegeMan22]

My only experience was when I treated girls bad they liked me more sexually than the ones I treated like a friend.

This, sir, is called a lesson. You do NOT WANT to be a gentleman. Gentlemen lose money and time, a$$holes win the poon.

The fundamental principle of the gentleman is CARING. He cares what women feel and wants to protect them. Therefore he puts lots of effort into women he likes. Meanwhile the woman just exists. Thus the woman automatically becomes higher value than the gentleman in her eyes due to his extreme and non-reciprocated effort. Cue pu$$y drought.

The fundamental principle of the a$$hole is NOT CARING. He does not care what women think of him, nor what he says, nor what “society” thinks of his moves. They can call him names, but he doesn’t give a sh1t. The a$$hole does what he wants. When women see this, what is their first thought? “Why, he must have his way with women!”. Because to care so little about pu$$y, the a$$hole must have already gotten lots of it. Therefore the a$$hole becomes higher value than the females. Cue pu$$y flood.

So don’t be a gentleman. Be an a$$hole, but with cheekiness. You have been taught (by women and their pu$$whipped men) not to be, but that’s the only way you’ll make it with women today. Remember: the more YOU DON’T CARE, the more SHE CARES ABOUT YOU.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There is no issue being nice if that's who you are as long as you are not a doormat. There is an issue being nice as a form of manipulation where you "expect" things from her because you were "nice".

 

[Mike32ct]

For starters, I would say, get the “boyfriend” thoughts out of your head if you have any. The nice guy wants to be her boyfriend before he’s even dated her. There is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship with somebody per se, but it doesn't work in the early stages of attraction/dating.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

There’s no clear cut answer to this. Once I started treating women like actual human beings, I got laid. Just have standards and know when to walk away.

 

[Hal9000]

I've always said you want to be a combination of Christian Grey and Han Solo when dealing with women. This is easier said than done, especially if you aren't experienced being around women. Its pretty similar to the jerk philosophy above, with a dose of sexual tension strategically interwoven into it as well. Basically just don't be the guy we were all raised to be around women. That'll get you nowhere fast.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Learn the difference between a gentleman and a pushover.

Nice = weak. Nice is not synonymous with gentleman. The main differences is a gentleman retains the masculine qualities of strength, self control, and confidence. With women, the easiest way to show strength is to have personal boundaries and not let anyone cross them.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

First of all, you shouldn't treat women "BAD". You simply need to showcase your set of balls with your bold, dominant, masculine frame.

It's IMPOSSIBLE to be in the friendzone if you tell her your intentions of hooking up with her.

Nice guys (beta males) usually struggle with having a strong enough backbone to deliver this message due to their fear of rejection.

If you don't verbalize this to her than she has the potential to manipulate you for your non sexual companionship.

A "nice" guy gives her attention despite not getting what he REALLY wants (sex).

 

[Fruitbat]

Learn the difference between a gentleman and a pushover.

Nice = weak. Nice is not synonymous with gentleman. The main differences is a gentleman retains the masculine qualities of strength, self control, and confidence. With women, the easiest way to show strength is to have personal boundaries and not let anyone cross them.

yep.

nice = covert contract. I put myself beneath you, and you reciprocate and suck my D.

gentleman = I treat everyone with respect, including you. I’m polite and decent human being. I expect others to respect me.
if you don’t want to suck the D, that’s fine. I don’t want you.

that’s the difference.

 

[2Rocky]

Learn that your attention is like fuel in a carburetor on a gas engine. Prime it, but don't flood it to start. Let there be enough air (space/absence of attention) to mix and soon it will be purring.

Be a charming gentleman, but don't be jalapeno business...let her come to you after you intro yourself. pique her curiosity and make her want to know more about you. Don't give her ALL the info right at first. Let her draw it out of you. Don't answer questions she hasn't asked yet. Don't be evasive, but don't tell her the whole story when she asks about Chapter 1.

 

[Gamisch]

It ain't that difficult. The only way to end up in the Friendzone is when you didn't capitalized on your initial opportunity, but refuse to "take the L" and linger around.

The friendzone is a really subtle way to punish you for not being assertive in life. That why I laugh when I see dudes being friends with women. Most of the time it's a man who tries to "time" his move. (" maybe on the 45th " date" she'll be weak enough to kiss me on the cheek "...)

Only way to have female friends is when YOU put THEM in the zone, because you can somehow benefit from her company. Could be businesses, sexual release, hand outs , wing woman ect. But I advice against this, because most men will use this as yet a other excuse to linger around rather than taking the L and spend that time and energy on women who do want to be with you.

 

[Fruitbat]

It ain't that difficult. The only way to end up in the Friendzone is when you didn't capitalized on your initial opportunity, but refuse to "take the L" and linger around.

The friendzone is a really subtle way to punish you for not being assertive in life. That why I laugh when I see dudes being friends with women. Most of the time it's a man who tries to "time" his move. (" maybe on the 45th " date" she'll be weak enough to kiss me on the cheek "...)

Only way to have female friends is when YOU put THEM in the zone, because you can somehow benefit from her company. Could be businesses, sexual release, hand outs , wing woman ect. But I advice against this, because most men will use this as yet a other excuse to linger around rather than taking the L and spend that time and energy on women who do want to be with you.

Friendzone for men is like being a sloot for women. It’s giving your most important asset away for free. Because neither have the self esteem and balls to do otherwise.

I’ve been there, most men have. It never gets better. In fact I’ve been worse. I had an online daily text with a woman who wouldn’t even meet me for 6 months who basically told be a pack of lies (I knew her in real life, so not that bad that she was just a random woman)

i then got depressed and it took me about 3 years to recover my self esteem. I believed the “I am unhappy with my BF” stuff and in the end, she very much enjoyed letting me down and watching me disintegrate. This experience is why I’m here.

ten years on I have a hotter wife than she ever was, who’s 10 years younger than me and she’s fat as fk.

Taught me a lot. Red pilled me somewhat, but not completely.

I’m sure I will make future mistakes.

 

[Mike32ct]

I pretty much expect “You’re like my brother” aka brozone by default at this point.

 

[Robert28]

The biggest thing is don’t do ANY favors for a girl you aren’t dating or sleeping with regularly. And even then you want to limit them. I know it’s easy to fall into the mindset of “she asked me to give her a ride, not a big deal” “she asked me to borrow $10, not a big deal” “she asked me to bring her something even though I have to go out of my way, not a big deal, I don’t have anything else to do”. It’s a HUGE deal. Don’t buy women anything that you aren’t dating, or on an established date with (no friend date crap). Basically don’t do stuff for a girl you like but are friends with that you’d do for a girl you’re dating.

 

[Gamisch]

Friendzone for men is like being a sloot for women. It’s giving your most important asset away for free. Because neither have the self esteem and balls to do otherwise.

I’ve been there, most men have. It never gets better. In fact I’ve been worse. I had an online daily text with a woman who wouldn’t even meet me for 6 months who basically told be a pack of lies (I knew her in real life, so not that bad that she was just a random woman)

i then got depressed and it took me about 3 years to recover my self esteem. I believed the “I am unhappy with my BF” stuff and in the end, she very much enjoyed letting me down and watching me disintegrate. This experience is why I’m here.

ten years on I have a hotter wife than she ever was, who’s 10 years younger than me and she’s fat as fk.

Taught me a lot. Red pilled me somewhat, but not completely.

I’m sure I will make future mistakes.

That first paragraph is GOLD. Perfectly written.

If the friendzone is like a room, she can only hold the door open for you, but it's still your own feet that walk that way . She can never force or push you there, it's a voluntary decision. That's why it hurts so much to realize you are in there.

I think a big problem is this sudden shift from old school to modern dating. Most of us grew up with the image that a man must be nice, gentle, cordial. We basically WANT our "future wife" to make it difficult for us.

I've made this mistake way too often when I was younger. If I really liked her fecking wouldn't even be on my mind. BIG mistake!!Now I just " dumbed dating down" and I assume if she wants to hang with me she wants to feck me and I try to escalate asap ( that means within the first date at least make out and " grab her by the poosy").

I pretty much expect “You’re like my brother” aka brozone by default at this point.

? Elaborate please.

Brozone is the gheyzone. Maybe all these zones are one and the same anyway.

 

[Divorced w 3]

This has to be taught to every fvcking child in school.

I actually did this with my five year old. Little brat across the street tried tying him down. She even brought another girl to their little play group. He told me he liked this girl but also like Scarlett. I said, ok so you walk over to scarlet and you play with her. If Corinne asks you to play tell her she’s invited. I tried explaining that Corinne’s girlfriend was there to block other broads in class out but it went right over his head. He dumped Corinne and he now plays with Scarlett.

 

[Mike32ct]

? Elaborate please.

Brozone is the gheyzone. Maybe all these zones are one and the same anyway.

I was half joking and half serious. Brozone is a subset of friendzone. It means you are very close friends with her, and she almost considers you family. It's a more hardcore friendzone.

On a day to day basis, I just assume that women I interact with are seeing me as a friend or bro unless there is strong evidence (IOIs) to the contrary. (That's just me. I'm not recommending that to the OP.)

 

[Machine10033]

My sophomore year in high school I had no clue. A girl I had a ridiculous crush on sent an icq message to me saying she would love Burger King. Me being a clown at the time thought “ man if I get this girl Burger King she will like me”. I went and got her BK... had the opposite effect! I was a doormat, no challenge, weak and sleazy thinking this was a way to get laid. Girls are intuitive and survive this way... she knew what I was doing.

Fast forward to my college days a volleyball player blew her knee out. I knew her from classes she very attractive, but also a genuinely cool person. She messaged me the day after her injury saying how helpless she felt because her roommate went home and she was on the 4th floor with no elevator. She was petrified to try and get down to the cafeteria with crutches. I felt horrible for her and picked up some food and drinks for her. I did not do this thinking man I’m going to get laid. I did it to help someone out.

She was in tears when I stopped in... and her messaging frequency sky rocketed ( maybe because she was laid up ) but the tone became flirty and within a week we started hooking up...

Don’t make the mistake of thinking you need to be a complete @ss to females. Being a decent human simply doing the right thing can be a massive turn on for females. Simply be yourself and if you feel like a chick is trying to sh!t test you .. call her out

 

[mikedee]

Tell her that you're not "a friend", straight up, she will understand.
Physical contact is important, touch her: hands, neck, waist, thighs, hair, etc.. A friend doesn't do that.
No need to kiss her on the first date, but by the second date or max 3rd date. Don't wait, the more you wait the more ackward it is.
Go for the lay as soon as you can (keep in mind the culture she's from), but don't look thirsty.
If you feel she's putting in the friend zone, exit, no contact.

Don't be an assh0le on purpose (it just doesn't work), be masculine, respect your boundaries, don't tolerate BS.
Be polite, be respectful (with everybody), listen but don't be afraid to speak up.

If you do that you won't end up in the friend zone.

 

[LTG71]

This is one of the most challenging experiences you will ever have to deal with and one that will eventually bring you to red pill asking yourself WTF? Women are bonkers and operate with what seems like no rhyme or reason. They are driven by emotions and change their minds on a whim. The problem is that you have to figure out if she has genuine burning desire for you. Too many of us have given women the best we have to offer and it goes unappreciated and outrightly abused with no remorse. A women that doesn’t see you as a sexual prospect will use you and call you “friend”. She has no problem taking all your time, attention and good deeds for free. Remember, women are always looking for resources.

Best is to be yourself and don’t try to mold yourself into what you think she wants. I think this is when you become a doormat and/or simp. For example, my teenage son farts on his girl friend and makes stupid jokes and she thinks it’s funny. That is what I would consider burning desire. She overlooks all the stupid things he does and keeps coming back for more. He’s also sweet and kind to her but says and does whatever he wants with no filter. The last thing you want to do is be overly giving and treating a woman like a queen when she doesn’t reciprocate. She has to show up and earn what you give her. Remember that women are given value just for being alive and having different body parts. That gives them power to treat suitors however they want since they are in high demand. “Good” and “nice” guys are overlooked until a woman hits the wall and realizes the demand for her vintage has ended.

if you sense attraction, there needs to be escalation fairly quickly. Don’t play the long game and try to “nice” your way into a girl‘s pants. That will end you up in the friend, brother, platonic or gay male girlfriend zone. Make your move or be prepared to be used and abused.