How to think under pressure?

[Tomo]

I think this is one of my weakest skills. It is not just that I can't think of witty returns sometimes during conversations but here are some examples during the last week -

1) I'd set aside a note to myself to actually ask a HB out from dance class whom has been showing high interested in me (already agreed jokingly prior). Got the best opportunity today - being early and just us two; but I was too fixated in remembering my routines whiles stretching it did not cross my mind.

2) Doing the actual routine - the teacher wants to make a music video and hence once we had everything sorted (end of class the next class was watching/ turned up) she started filming but I could not do anything right - I felt stiff, could not relax and not moving to the beat.

3) I got into an argument with a plate while out with a group of people (cannot remember what about). She kept mouthing come backs and it got to a point I simply walked away - not replying - and left her to herself and her friends.

As you can see, I just cannot seem to think clearly when placed under the slightest bit of pressure. Anyone have tips on how to improve yourself in this aspect of life?

 

[Ruthless]

My mind works quickly enough that I can play out many different lines of conversation in a matter of seconds. I rarely get caught off guard and can usually keep a conversation going with few tense moments.

There are very few insults or compliments that people will use. Physical attributes are generally the go to for both. Think of what you can be insulted or complimented on and prepare a response in your mind. Preparation is the key, don't let yourself get caught off guard.

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't know if this is of any help, but I FORCE myself to do things in a logical ORDER to stay organized and methodical. First step A, then B, and then C. Even if it appears to slow me down, I do it anyway because it works and gets better results.

I think when we get stressed out under pressure our brain is worrying about steps F and G when we haven't finished steps A and B first*.

*Of course, a dancer has to be thinking at least one pattern ahead so that he can make smooth transitions.

But anyway, don't think TOO far ahead is my point. That will overwhelm you.

Think of a pilot or a surgeon or even a dancer. They have to do stuff in the proper ORDER no matter how much pressure they are under.

 

[jacob]

I think this is one of my weakest skills. It is not just that I can't think of witty returns sometimes during conversations but here are some examples during the last week -

1) I'd set aside a note to myself to actually ask a HB out from dance class whom has been showing high interested in me (already agreed jokingly prior). Got the best opportunity today - being early and just us two; but I was too fixated in remembering my routines whiles stretching it did not cross my mind.

2) Doing the actual routine - the teacher wants to make a music video and hence once we had everything sorted (end of class the next class was watching/ turned up) she started filming but I could not do anything right - I felt stiff, could not relax and not moving to the beat.

3) I got into an argument with a plate while out with a group of people (cannot remember what about). She kept mouthing come backs and it got to a point I simply walked away - not replying - and left her to herself and her friends.

As you can see, I just cannot seem to think clearly when placed under the slightest bit of pressure. Anyone have tips on how to improve yourself in this aspect of life?

First of all the problem is you're being self conscious. In order to be witty and spontaneous you need to stay in the present moment. This way you won't be focused on the future (thinking about what your response will be) or in the past (what kind of negative reaction she did that'll make you more selfconscious).

How do you stay in the present moment? The answer is you concentrate on all your senses. Sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste. When you do this you're mind and thoughts come into the present moment.

Your mind cannot do two things simultaneously. So instead of fortune telling what she's gonna say and how you're gonna react, your mind will be spontaneous and you can correlate things, such as when she talks and mentions something about dancing and when you sense, say a flower blowing in the wind you can mention that as something that's dancing, or if you hear music you can correlate that to what she just said.

In a nutshell, to be good under pressure is to stay in the present moment by concentrating on all your 5 senses this will clear your mind and you'll be able to think more sharply and be more witty. Hope this helps...

 

[sylvester the cat]

^ what he said.

 

[Frogster]

Excellent advice Jacob.

 

[Tomo]

Cheers Jacob, remind me to rep you.

Lived in the moment tonight. She gave me the perfect segue and I asked her to a Thursday night out. Not fussed if plans follow or fall through. Just feels good as it's the first time I've ever asked a HB out in person proper. Unfortunately I can't think of any good first date ideas now nor has SS search procured anything. I'm not too keen on dinner and movies - hope to try something different even if I don't know much about this said chick.

Any first date ideas guys?

 

[MtnMan]

i am pretty sold on quick drinks for a first date. I have done drinks at a comedy bar before too and bounced after the first two drinks. Then had a third at another bar.

To me, being able to change venues after a drink or two is KEY. It helps rebuilt comfort and momentum if you have sort of lost it at the first venue. Also you can have her take your arm and lead her to the next place. Every girl I have done this with gladly accepts.

Also I think the fact that you have been to multiple places together helps build up a feeling of bonding.

I hate the idea of dinner and movies on a first date, way to stale. You need to keep it light, casual and flirty!