How to tell the difference..

[Ace123]

I've found myself in a situation twice, the first time i messed up, so i don't want to do it again

THE SITUATION:
I'll finally go on a "date" with a girl, but i'm not always 100% if she assumes it's a date like i do, or if she's thinking of it as just hanging out with a friend. I did this with a girl, assumed it was a date and ... long story short i'm pretty sure she just thought of it as a friend thing.

So how can you tell when you are out with a girl if she's interested in you as a friend or as "more than a friend." i want to figure this out before i make any moves (like holding hands) so that i don't hold her hand if she just thinks we are friends.

Here's the example this time:
I've been talking to a girl for a while now, lately i've really been using C&F and have been somewhat of a challenge. So finally we go out to mini-golf, have a great time, no hand holding, no kissing, just basic kino, etc. We both had a really fun time. And i know that you are supposed to make the first date just a fun thing, not being too serious yet, so this is what i do. But the problem is, if you don't really make it seem like you're going after her as a girlfriend, how can she tell that you do indeed want this and how can YOU tell that she wants you to be more than friends.

I may be making this more complicated than it sounds, but it's one of the only few problem's i've faced since learning how to deal with women. How to tell if she's interested in you as a friend, or as more than a friend.

Thanks in advance.

 

[Eddymj89]

Here's my biggest tip. Don't worry too much about it. Act cool, show an interest level in which you feel comfortable showing.

I don't agree one hundred percent with the tip of acting like you don't care, so what I think is that if she thinks you're interested at all, she may or may not make her own moves. If she doesn't make a move, it does not mean she's not interested.

I'd say you should go out on a couple more dates, and see what happens. First dates are way too hard to tell anything from. Make the second something casual, and the third or fourth a bit more formal, such as taking her out ot lunch, or dinner, depending on how much of a romantic you are.

Don't make all too much of a deal with it though, act cool, like it's something you do a lot. If she declines, she may either not be interested in taking it to that level, or plainly she could very well be busy with her own agenda.

On that note, don't assume too much until you have rock hard proof, it troubles your brain, and more than likely somebody will be able to notice hesitation.

Another thing that works for me at times, is just going for those things that couples do, hold her hand, put your arm around her shoulder. If she likes it, you'll be able to tell, if she doesn't, don't let it discourage you.

Confidence is a must in these situations, as well as a relaxed mind, and not letting things get to you. Good luck with the girl, and if you have any feedback or questions, I'll be happy to read and respond.

 

[MetalFortress]

Holding hands, arm around waist or shoulder, going in for the kiss. If you try these and she rejects, she only wanted you as a friend. You won't know without making the move.

 

[dbot]

It doesn't matter if she thinks of it as a date or a friendly outing. If you intended for it to be a date, then you treat it like a date.

 

[Ace123]

Thanks a lot guys, you've really helped, i will keep you updated as it continues:

For now i'm playing it cool, not talking to her as much - (don't want to drive her away) and soon i'll call her up and ask her if she wants to hang out. Sound like a good strategy?

Also, in the meantime i want to see other girls so to prevent a oneitis from forming.

Hopefully soon there will be a little romance, thanks for the tips, and keep them coming, i'll update.

 

[Ace123]

Allright got another date lined up for Thursday. This time i called it a date - we're going to get some ice cream then either bowling or a movie: Which do you suggest? I'd say bowling because i know that'd be fun and i always like to have fun dates, it's easier for my C&F to flow, etc.

Anyway, i'll keep you updated, thanks for the help so far. Hopefully things go right, if not, there's tons of other women. I just gotta remember to stay cool and relaxed and just have fun - it'll work out if i stay that way.

I'll keep you updated.

 

[MarcP]

I always make sure I've at least kissed a girl before going out on a "date" so I never have this problem. Its best to start kino from the start so they do not get freaked out when you move in for kiss. They shouldn't see it any differant from how you see it.

 

[Sterling the Runner]

Play with and tease her. Like touch her butt and when she tells you to stop say ok and keep doing it, But not too much! s

 

[Sterling the Runner]

Damnit! any way she will get upset if you bug her. If she giggles and is playful when you do this, the she is interested. Also touching her butt will convey your sexual interest and she will think of you as more than a friend.

 

[big_jeffry]

look, at this point in tha game, ignore all the body language advice about "if she twirls her hair, licks her lips, and her pupils dilate means theres a 67% chance she's interested" This is misleading. The main question you have to ask yourself is "is she being friendly and open." If the answer is yes, you're in, because you can build on this

 

[Ace123]

Well the second date was tonight and it was a........

TOTAL SUCCESS!

I brought her bowling, got in some good old kino action, then we went back to my house, put on the waterboy (the movie). I had my arm around her for a while, just waiting for the opportunity to kiss her. After the first kiss, many more followed, we started making out, one thing led to another, and this once AFC who had never been farther than a kiss got to third, with a hot girl!

I just want to thank you guys VERY MUCH for helping me on my quest. A few months ago if you told me i'd be mackin' it with a HB7.5-8 i'd of called you crazy! I have to say, i could not have done it without sosauve.com and the double your dating newsletters! THANKS A LOT!

 

[Porky]

well done!

 

[Ace123]

It's time for some more advice from you guys who have helped me along the way. Everything is great so far, but i seem to be at a point where i really don't want to mess things up.

I had my second date with this girl, and we had a pretty serious fooling around session (i fingered and ate her out) and it went really well.

Now the question is how to keep the girl. I DO NOT want to come off as desperate and needy, because in the past, when a girl likes me, i'll begin to talk to her more, and become TOO interested that she'll stop liking me. I want this girls interest level to remain high. What is the best way of doing this?

I see her in school at least once a day, do i kiss her? Is it smart here to remain a challenge, still joke about her trying to get with me, and remain my funny self? I want to remain the fun guy i was before without looking like i need her, which is what i've been feeling since that date. I've been thinking about her too much, but it's hard for me to realize that being more of a challenge, and seeing/talking to her less now is actually going to HELP ME.

I guess all i really need is some convincing and some tips on how to keep this girl interested in me without making it look like i'm needy - this seems harder now that we've actually gotten physical. We're not "going out" per say, and this is what confuses me. I just don't want to screw this up, what would be the proper way to ask for another date. Any help would be very appreciated, this is the point where i usually mess up and i don't want to find myself hurt again (losing a girl who's interested in me because i show it too much).

Thanks a lot!