I am in an LTR right now, and I am, wondering the same thing myself. So its a good topic for me, and a good chance to learn something too
I'm finding the hardest thing is how to keep a girl, not how to get one.
not knowing whether to drop the emotionally distant, C+F stuff? welcome to the club hehe
1)
to be honest, I think all out C+F is really only for during the courtship phase. If she becomes ur gf or is quite obviously into you, dont do it that much. you want to be real, that is important, and thats what will make the LTR last. C+F won't.
You wont be able to come up with a witty/ C+F response everytime. You might be really strong at the beginning (like I was), but it'll taper off eventually.
Think of C+F like a bright red sign you're carrying. All C+F is for is to get her to notice you, to distinguish you from the tons of other guys out there. Once it becomes obvious shes your gf and totally into you, you dont need that bright red sign anymore. At that point, you want her to gradually know the real you. The kind, trusting, sincere you. The you who cheers her up in her darkest moment. The you who will stand by her side against all odds.
Once C+F has served its purpose, its not the time for "I have women chasing after me so I dont need you" crap. Be assertive, be confident, but love her with all your heart (if that is what you truly desire). you play too many C+F games, or you become to uncaring, and she'll actually think you might have another wife you havent told her about, or worse.
apocalypse later said:
I guess I'm looking more for future advice of how not to look like an unemotional, cynical piece of crap. I want to be confident and independent, but I don't want to be a jerk and make the girl think I don't care about her.
give her surprises from time to time. there are tons of ways to say "I love you" without having to be there. pick her up on a rainy nite. buy a rose. leave a voice mail. things that show you care. you can also throw in a little C+F from time to time, but make sure she knows ur only joking.
