How To Respond To A Girl Who Dumps You Over Facebook (or Text)

runner83

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Credit:

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/how-to-respond-to-a-girl-who-dumps-you-over-facebook/

Roissy said:
Many commenters ran with yesterday’s post about a girl who dumps a beta over Facebook and then reads his pitiful reply to a group of people at a house party who relish the opportunity to cruelly twist the knife. While the post was only meant as a report from the trenches of the modern mating scene, the commenters wisely treated it as if it were a test of their game, trying to figure out how best to answer a hypothetical email from a girl dumping them. I have looked at some of the suggestions and made a decision which are the best replies.


#1: No response. (Credit: Gorbachev)

90% of the time, and in 90% of situations, this will be your best option. Radio silence is a failsafe method for causing reckless hamster spin in a woman’s headspace. You have got to understand a couple of things about women and breaking up.

One, women initiate most breakups. I have read it is on the order of 75-85% of all breakups. Women also initiate 2/3rds to 3/4ths or more of all divorces.

Two, women secretly get a thrill out of the power they wield as society’s de facto hypergamous dumpers. When a woman dumps a man, she wants to know she got to him. Though she will never admit it, the act of gettting to a man is a blissful ego massage for the typical woman. Men are not like this (at least most of them). Talk to any man who has dumped women in the past for shallow reasons and he will tell you it was a distinctly uncomfortable experience, and he would have rather just kept her in his rotation, stringing her along forever instead of cutting the cord.

Knowing these two salient points about women and breaking up, it is in your interest as a man to deny any woman dumping you the satisfaction of your butthurt reaction. Why? Because reaction = beta. The alpha male with options galore doesn’t sweat any one break-up. Since women subconsciously know this about alpha males, they get flustered when their break-up messages to men they deemed beta generate nothing but indifference. They begin to wonder what is up, if perhaps they made a mistake in judgement of the man’s character.

I am now addressing the male readers of this blog who have experience dating three or more women at once. I have done it many times. Look back at those times and recall your reaction when one of the women tried to break up with you over a voicemail message or email. You grabbed your phone to read the heartfelt break-up text or listen to the pained vmail and, if you were like me, you muttered “yeah yeah yeah…” and deleted the message, never bothering to reply. You did this because YOU REALLY DID NOT CARE if one of your ladies fell through the cracks.

To my beta readers: THAT is the attitude you must strive to incorporate into every fiber of your manly essence. You really DO NOT CARE. And what does an utterly indifferent man do when he gets a long-winded overly dramatic break-up text from a chick in his rotation?

Nothing.


#2: “ok” (Credit: itsme)

This is a more proactive way to signal indifference, compared to the no reply option. Note the lack of punctuation. “ok” and no reply will both get under a woman’s skin, the thought of which will put a smile on your face. Send it immediately, so that she does not have reason to think you are trying to out-game her.


#3: “gay” (Credit: el guapo? el chief?)

Indifference expressed through humor can also work, if the context is right. “gay” (again, note lack of punctuation) is a great reply to a girl who has sent a long-winded break-up email filled with phony drama. It’s basically saying “I can’t believe you’re taking this whole thing so seriously”. It’s a subtle way to impugn her presumptive status as the dumper. The cutting “gay” reply insinuates to a girl who is melodramatically dumping you that she secretly thinks about you a lot as judged by the ridiculous amount of effort she put into her break-up email.


#4: “Breakup??? 3 dates. LMAO. drama.”, “drama queen!”, or “Srsly? It was three dates, lol” (credit: Evil Alpha/Ben Runkle)

Similar to the “gay” reply above, an insinuation that she is making a mountain out of a mole hill is a good way to get her ego invested in reclaiming lost battlefield ground. It’s a funny reply, and funny replies can work. But generally, you should follow the informal rule that any replies to a break-up message from a girl never exceed three letters in length.

And don’t expect sarcastic replies to make her come running back to you. This is strictly for the pleasure of inflicting emotional frustration.


#5: “nigga please!” (Credit: Josef Jonze)

Hey, that made me laugh.


#6: “8===D” (Credit: Ben Runkle)


Is there any pistols-at-high-noon dating situation where the ASCII penis won’t work? I’m having a hard time thinking of one.


***


Addendum: Do NOT send anything that could be construed as bitter, spiteful or the aforementioned butthurt, even if you think you are being sarcastically nonchalant. Her hamster will spin anything REMOTELY resembling bitterness as a victory for her ego. Examples of this school of thought include:

“yeah, know what you mean”

“good”

“don’t care”

“later”

“thanks. now I can go for a girl I really like.”

“Do I know you?”

etc.

The above mistakes illustrate the perils of thinking like a man instead of thinking like a woman. A manly maneuver is like a club wildly swinging in the direction of her head, bound to result in allies rushing to her side. But if you want to eviscerate her with scalpel-like precision, and excise her emotional organs for dissection upon your operating table of sadistic cruelty, then you must put yourself into the mind of a woman. Think like a woman to seduce her, and to vex her. They are two sides of the same coin.

Now some of you may be thinking, what can I do to bring her back into my orbit of indulgence? After all, wasn’t there a post here about winning back one’s ex-girlfriend? None of the excellent replies offered above guarantee she will come back to you. But they are a necessary if not sufficient tactic in any overall strategy to re-attract her. If you want a shot at converting a lost prospect, you don’t want to shoot yourself in the foot with a needy beta reply as seen in yesterday’s post. A nontrivial number of women who receive no reply or “gay” to their break-up emails are going to be so flustered and ego-bound to extracting a reaction from you that they will text, email or even call you again a day or two later asking if you got her message.

And once she has done that, she’s buzzed straight into your sticky spider web. Now she, and her invested ego, is yours to entwine. The rules of the game have decidedly shifted in your favor.
 

Jariel

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I've always found a friendly, but indifferent response works best, such as:

"Ok, no hard feelings. Take care. x" or "No problem. All the best. x"

I like to make it sound upbeat and carefree, whereas one word replies without punctuation would indicate that I'm upset and appear kinda sulky.

In many cases where I've used the above responses, the girl has tried to pick a fight with me and some have gone on to become obessed with me. I'll reply to her provocation with cool indifference, i.e. "You're right, we didn't click, so it's cool. All the best. x"
 

WhitePimp

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No response usually works for me. It's funny when they text/call to 'confirm' that I got the breakup text a few days later! LOL
 

Huffman

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Well if you got dumped then it doesn't really matter what you say does it ;) I mean if you really got dumped then there's no need to waste time on 1337 PUA techniques, hehe.
 

ARrocket

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As an aside...we can type "nigga" on this forum but we can't type "****" or "*****"? Interesting.
 

Pdizzzzzzle

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no response is probably the best method. It'll most likeely get her wondering what you're up to, which will prompt the "hey did you get my text" message someone was talking about above.

Oh, and I'm so busting out the 8====D next time this happens. Just need a good follow up....
 

Mile High Club

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You guys are missing the point.

The point is not to make her think, "why isn't he not responding".

This is wrong, the correct thinking behind this is, What kind of person breaks up with someone over facebook/text?

This is my issue, and the correct answer is NOT to respond at all. She is definitely unworthy of your time. I haven't met one person who was mentally/psychologically stable who broke up with someone over facebook/text. Something is wrong with them .. RUN!

Move on .. you have more important things to do.
 

Sabol

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The long answer is that it shouldn't matter at all. You are an alpha male, you will not get back with her, you will never contact her again, and you do not care what she thinks of you.

A mature way is to wish her the best and hope she lives a great life.

But if you want to mindfvck her write "thank you :)"

Back in the day, I was a bit of a sadist and would love to make that hamster wheel turn.

Now however, the mature way is my method of choice.
 

comic_relief

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"Cool, tell [best friend] that I can finally give her a call"

- comic_relief
 

OnTheWayUp

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This thread is very relevant for me atm. I've just sent a message to a girl who I've got with 4/5 times over the last 5 months or so. She started off with a very high IL, but her last couple of messages seem to hint (in a typically understated female fashion) that she doesn't want to see me anymore. This is fine by me: whilst the girl in question is probably the best-looking I've ever been involved with, I have plenty more to keep me busy. This is more about ending our "relationship," such as it was, like a man. If she comes back, great. If not, that's fine as well.

My message:

"okay. if you find time, get in touch, and if i have time as well, we'll meet up and do something together in [your city] or [mine]. and if i don't hear from you again: i enjoyed the time we spent together and wish you all the best."


Do you guys like it? I think it's non-needy and puts the ball in her court.
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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^ Hell No. You sent a pretty simpful message.

Especially @ "I Enjoyed the time".

You should have just not sent a message at all.
 

Victory Unlimited

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When it reaches the point where guys feel like they have to start checking Facebook for "updates" on their relationship status with some chick, then they'd better realize that they actually have BIGGER issues going on than WHATEVER that particular woman chooses to type onto some random social media platform.
 

f29d6h

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I had this happen just recently (text break up), and didn't say a word... no text response, no call... nothing.

I remember reading somewhere else on this site that I should ignore any emails or texts, and only respond if she actually calls. Seems like sound advice, but what's the best course of action from there?
 

Credos

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f29d6h said:
I had this happen just recently (text break up), and didn't say a word... no text response, no call... nothing.

I remember reading somewhere else on this site that I should ignore any emails or texts, and only respond if she actually calls. Seems like sound advice, but what's the best course of action from there?
Date new people? Unless you like stroking the salami...

Back to the OP, I used to be a douche about it when I got dumped but it can backfire, thus I like to just not reply...
Should they come over to my place and tell me it's over I alwayse totally agree with them...

It's funny though, if they ever see you again, they alwayse start yapping how much of an @sshole you are, while it was they who dumped you... Why is the world filled with so many loonies...
 

European-DJ

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What about a plane simple;

" ;) "

I think this would fvck up the poor girls mind?
- I would like some response to this answer please!
 
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