How to put serious one-itis behind you?

[faeyt]

There are some days when I can go out and try to better myself. Lately, on those good days, I'm getting more into what I can do in terms of self improvement. But there are some days where the drastic clutch of a one-itis makes me feel like I can't go on without that specific b*tch. I think this could benefit other beginner sosuavers too - what do you do on those days where you feel useless?

I'm trying to bring myself to reach a point where I can be happy with my life, with or without women. But the recovery period is bullsh*t and I don't want to have to wait until I'm over her. On the days when you feel low, what do you guys do to bring up the DJ inside to put it all aside and say you're better than that broad?

 

[fuko2007]

well man...i can tell you. as of yesterday i was rejected ...and told i was not good enough by this bi*ch i had been seeing for 2 years. And that really all she wants is an fb wich is all i wanted to start but she wanted more and got it then threw me out. Anyway im at a low point right this second. Got that feeling in my tummy and all that.

But im at work so not much i can do in the way of cheering my self up. But i like to make plans with my good friends who are single and like to go out and do stuff. We all have boats so we call some girls up and hit the lake for a bit. Ive found that sunlight is a good thing to. It helps with your vitimin D wich can perk you up. I dont know if you work or not but having something to do after work is a good thing also especially if your like me and spent those days with the evil bi*ch.

But the main thing is ..is friends esp guy friends that are single that dont give a fvck and will tell you like it is and say forget about her never speak of her again. Thats how mine are and they took me out and showed me a good time. Dont get around a bunch of negative ppl because they will bring you down and add to you already ****ty feeling. But main points..do something you like to do. keep all extra time taken up. talk to other girls and try to get laid if possible. hang with your good friends for a while. and avoid the evil woman at all costs. even if yall pass each other on the road...look the other way. wish u the best of luck man.

 

[SirFratserlot]

Ya I'm dealing with oneitis right now too. Same situation where girl baited me with high interest then later left me on the curb. I still think of her constantly, but I have like random spouts where I'm just in a shvtty mood and don't want to do anything.

 

[fuko2007]

Ya I'm dealing with oneitis right now too. Same situation where girl baited me with high interest then later left me on the curb. I still think of her constantly, but I have like random spouts where I'm just in a shvtty mood and don't want to do anything.

hahaha...i know what ya mean...i got garunteed pvussy tonight and tomorrow night and was all happy and giddy abt it yesterday ..then today im like sh*t i dont feel like doing anything. even goin to the beach this weekend ..and next weekend...then the weekend after that a man-cation. and for some reason all im thinking about is my one-itis and how depressed i am and all that bull.

i think the best thing sometimes is to just force oyurself to go do something. it speeds up the healing process i think by making you have a good time in the periods your down. but it sucks that crap is on my mind right now.

 

[switch]

just accept that oneitis is there, it exists, dont fight it and let time heal your wounds.
start finding another woman to date.
but as i always say , once created, oneitis cannot be destroyed it can only be transfered from one girl to another.
so yeah even the guys who are spinning plates usually have a "favorite" plate they like to hang-out with, guess what? its a pre-oneitis

 

[SirFratserlot]

hahaha...i know what ya mean...i got garunteed pvussy tonight and tomorrow night and was all happy and giddy abt it yesterday ..then today im like sh*t i dont feel like doing anything. even goin to the beach this weekend ..and next weekend...then the weekend after that a man-cation. and for some reason all im thinking about is my one-itis and how depressed i am and all that bull.

i think the best thing sometimes is to just force oyurself to go do something. it speeds up the healing process i think by making you have a good time in the periods your down. but it sucks that crap is on my mind right now.

The worst type of oneitis is when you've actually done stuff with the girl. I look back thinking my previous oneitis were nothing because I got teased. This time I was pretty intimate with this girl, so whenever I look at people kissing and shvt it makes me think back.

 

[lamobatsman]

i dont know whats worse- one itis with a girl u never did anything with or one u did. I always think if i slept with her would i feel better cos is it an ego thing? or i feel sad cos i genuinely liked her? at least u guys ****ed ur girl i never even got to kiss her? does that make it worse for me as a guy u think?

 

[SirFratserlot]

i dont know whats worse- one itis with a girl u never did anything with or one u did. I always think if i slept with her would i feel better cos is it an ego thing? or i feel sad cos i genuinely liked her? at least u guys ****ed ur girl i never even got to kiss her? does that make it worse for me as a guy u think?

nope, you'd just keep thinking about the times you slept with her and miss her even more.

 

[fuko2007]

The worst type of oneitis is when you've actually done stuff with the girl. I look back thinking my previous oneitis were nothing because I got teased. This time I was pretty intimate with this girl, so whenever I look at people kissing and shvt it makes me think back.

oh yeh..me n this girl were very intimate. to the point of when we were leaving in the mornings we gave a good bye kiss. I know what you mean. Everytime i see a guy and girl holding hands walking down the street i want to f-ing trip them haha..but yeh it sucks...even the fact of getting laid tonight isnt the same because im so used to my one-itis.

 

[faeyt]

Personally, I think it sucks when the emotional connection was strong for a one-itis, but it's extra worse when you've done things with them. I've had oneitis with girls where nothing happened and the oneitis I have now is the girl I lost my virginity to. It sucks more when you've done things with her and you don't have another girl(s) to focus on, because whenever you think of sex, you're thinking of her.

 

[SirFratserlot]

Personally, I think it sucks when the emotional connection was strong for a one-itis, but it's extra worse when you've done things with them. I've had oneitis with girls where nothing happened and the oneitis I have now is the girl I lost my virginity to. It sucks more when you've done things with her and you don't have another girl(s) to focus on, because whenever you think of sex, you're thinking of her.

thisssss so mucu

 

[fuko2007]

Personally, I think it sucks when the emotional connection was strong for a one-itis, but it's extra worse when you've done things with them. I've had oneitis with girls where nothing happened and the oneitis I have now is the girl I lost my virginity to. It sucks more when you've done things with her and you don't have another girl(s) to focus on, because whenever you think of sex, you're thinking of her.

or who she is fvucking now...that really sets me off

 

[faeyt]

She has a boyfriend. And she said she only cheated on him with me, but like the DJ bible says,
listen only to a girl's actions, not what she says,
or something along those lines. And sometimes it kills me when I think she's sleeping with another guy, or even with her own boyfriend.
And on a bad day that makes me feel sh*tty. But on a good day I realize what the situation is - I'm not trying hard enough to better my own life. She can do what she wants - she had a choice between him and I, and she made her choice. I shouldn't be hanging around like a pathetic insect.

At the end of the day, I should be..we should be trying to better ourselves every day, even on the days where we feel like sh*t and we just want to stay indoors. Going to bed a better man than the person we woke up as that morning, you know?
One-itis is infatuation, realistically speaking. But here, they make it sound like a disease for a reason - it's bad for you, and it consumes you.

 

[fuko2007]

well i agree with you on the infatuation...but is bad for you and it does eat you up....thats why NC and other girls are the way to go

 

[faeyt]

well i agree with you on the infatuation...but is bad for you and it does eat you up....thats why NC and other girls are the way to go

Yeah. In this case I'm honestly torn...I know NC is the best way to go, but me and her help each other out with very serious emotional issues. But I mean that does not sound healthy at all, being emotionally tied to a one-itis. I just have to stop being a little b*tch about it.

I don't know if this is a good idea, but instead of complete NC, I was thinking of telling her I needed a couple of weeks alone. In those weeks we would NC each other and I could focus on moving on, because she's still a friend I don't want to lose. Or I could be wrong, and the thought of talking to her again would screw me over. Sigh, in the end things are only as complicated as we make them.

 

[fuko2007]

Yeah. In this case I'm honestly torn...I know NC is the best way to go, but me and her help each other out with very serious emotional issues. But I mean that does not sound healthy at all, being emotionally tied to a one-itis. I just have to stop being a little b*tch about it.

I don't know if this is a good idea, but instead of complete NC, I was thinking of telling her I needed a couple of weeks alone. In those weeks we would NC each other and I could focus on moving on, because she's still a friend I don't want to lose. Or I could be wrong, and the thought of talking to her again would screw me over. Sigh, in the end things are only as complicated as we make them.

thats how it is with me. we talked about very serious things...now its like a void and i have no one to talk to. but thats why this place is here. Dont do limited NC it does not work. you will just make a full circle and be right back here. read some of my old threads about this girl and see what everyone said...go NC drop her...i didnt and they said ok see you back here soon crying about this woman again...and look they were right. REad them and learn from them....stay strong brotha and keep us posted.
oh yeh and if she is a good friend when your done and healed she will still be there.

 

[BeDJ]

You'll realize that the qualities you found in your one-itis can also be found in plenty other women. It might be a phase, but I mentally treat all women the same. Getting over a One-itis takes time and a sh!tload of women.

 

[HalfAddict]

Guys, you will hear this over and over at SS.

These are the most common answers to this questions.

No contact. No contact is just that, no more contact with your oneitis. Not a birthday text, not a phone call, not helping the ***** move, not responding to emails. No contact whatsoever.

The way it sounds to me is: girl shows high interest, guy has no other girls, therefore guy jumps on the girl with an initially high IL and becomes a desperate needy AFC. Now her IL is gone. That is why you need to:

Spin plates: Spinning plates is the practice of dating multiple women at the same time. The purpose of this is literally to stop oneitis and if a girl does not want you anymore it's OK because you have others you are interested in.

Remembering she is a human just like you. Know all those problems you have? She has to deal with that **** too, her problems may not be the same but remember she has her own set of unique issues too. To go deeper into this... stop and think about everything you do every day vital to your survival. She does all that stuff too, she is not special or different.

Just get over it, realize this is not that important and stop ****ing investing so much in interactions, it is your own fault you get oneitis. I realize sometimes you just really like that girl and you get those butterflies. But that **** is lust not love. Just occupy your mind and you will be fine.

 

[JoeMarron]

Spinning plate along with no contact is usually the advice given for this but I think it has to go beyond that. Being content with life regardless of whether a woman is in it and having good friends and family to talk with is the real cure. Part of the reason women tend to get over breakups easier than men is probably because they have more emotional outlets. Men tend to want to handle everything alone. I'd imagine that having a good friend or family member to vent with would go a long way towards letting past issues stay in the past. If you use to talk about things with your girl that you didn't share with anyone else and she leaves, all the hobbies and HB10's in the world aren't gonna be able to fill that void.