I used to struggle with this alot
The fear and shyness comes because you are too concerned with yourself. You are concerned about your ego because if you look bad, embarrass yourself, and get rejected, you won't "conform" to society's expectations of guys being "dominant" and "alpha". You're afraid you won't be socially accepted and looked down upon for failing with women and being lonely/single
So how do you break out of this fear so you can talk to women fearlessly, or at least stop beating yourself up for not being able to attract the woman you want? By accepting the possibility that you may be lonely, unattractive to women, and even end up like the 40-year old virgin! Seriously, Hollywood produces so much poison it's sickening. Why is there something wrong with being a 40-year old virgin? Why? Will he automatically get shot and have his brains blown out just because of that? Will his parents die in hell for eternity because of that?
If you tell yourself a relationship is not something you're 'lacking', then you have power over women because you don't need to get anything from them. Ironically, that'll make you more attractive to women because they'll see you already have a good life
I'm willing to bet there's some Buddhist monks who've never been in a relationship their entire lives, yet they're way more happy and free than some people like celebrities/rock stars/athletes who can get a girlfriend anytime they want. Some of those celebrities/rock stars/athletes are so miserable that they have to resort to drugs and alcohols just to numb the pain of their miserable lives, even though they can easily get any attractive woman they want!
If having a girlfriend will always make a guy happy, then how come so many guys get cheated on by their girlfriends/wives, berated on by their girlfriends/wives, waste tons of money on a girl just using them, and so on?
There's a ton of things in your life you should already be happy about. There is nothing you're lacking! You're fortunate enough to have access to the internet, be in good health, still be young, have healthy parents who love you, etc. Women will not fill some "void" in your life, because there is no void! You're just imagining it to exist because of society pressuring you to find a woman. You should instead focus on sharing and giving because that will get you out of your nagging ego that tells you you need to be masculine and dominant and you need to have a women to be accepted by society as a non-creep
So let's say you are "exposed" and publicly shamed for not getting the girl you want, for being a virgin, for being unable to marry and have kids, etc. You can just leave those people and find better people to associate with. You can just let those people "win". You do not have to insult them back or one-up them because you already are an awesome guy with a ton of things going well for you. If those people need to humiliate you so they can "win" so badly, then you can just pity them and see them as being like beggars.
By having an ego of something you're good at (for example, let's say you've been told you're "smart" or "intelligent" your whole life), you live in constant fear because you have to protect that ego, you have to constantly worry there might be someone smarter than you, and you would get very jealous and defensive if you sense someone might be smarter than you
This is probably hard for you to swallow (it was extremely hard for me to accept this at first) because we live in such a competition-based society. We admire the athletes who win, and mock and shame those who lose.
So your nervousness with asking out women or wondering if a certain woman likes you comes because you think you need to fit the image of a guy who is straight, masculine, alpha, and dominant. You DON'T. You already have a ton of things to be grateful and happy for. You are already an awesome person
The fear and shyness comes because you are too concerned with yourself. You are concerned about your ego because if you look bad, embarrass yourself, and get rejected, you won't "conform" to society's expectations of guys being "dominant" and "alpha". You're afraid you won't be socially accepted and looked down upon for failing with women and being lonely/single
So how do you break out of this fear so you can talk to women fearlessly, or at least stop beating yourself up for not being able to attract the woman you want? By accepting the possibility that you may be lonely, unattractive to women, and even end up like the 40-year old virgin! Seriously, Hollywood produces so much poison it's sickening. Why is there something wrong with being a 40-year old virgin? Why? Will he automatically get shot and have his brains blown out just because of that? Will his parents die in hell for eternity because of that?
If you tell yourself a relationship is not something you're 'lacking', then you have power over women because you don't need to get anything from them. Ironically, that'll make you more attractive to women because they'll see you already have a good life
I'm willing to bet there's some Buddhist monks who've never been in a relationship their entire lives, yet they're way more happy and free than some people like celebrities/rock stars/athletes who can get a girlfriend anytime they want. Some of those celebrities/rock stars/athletes are so miserable that they have to resort to drugs and alcohols just to numb the pain of their miserable lives, even though they can easily get any attractive woman they want!
If having a girlfriend will always make a guy happy, then how come so many guys get cheated on by their girlfriends/wives, berated on by their girlfriends/wives, waste tons of money on a girl just using them, and so on?
There's a ton of things in your life you should already be happy about. There is nothing you're lacking! You're fortunate enough to have access to the internet, be in good health, still be young, have healthy parents who love you, etc. Women will not fill some "void" in your life, because there is no void! You're just imagining it to exist because of society pressuring you to find a woman. You should instead focus on sharing and giving because that will get you out of your nagging ego that tells you you need to be masculine and dominant and you need to have a women to be accepted by society as a non-creep
So let's say you are "exposed" and publicly shamed for not getting the girl you want, for being a virgin, for being unable to marry and have kids, etc. You can just leave those people and find better people to associate with. You can just let those people "win". You do not have to insult them back or one-up them because you already are an awesome guy with a ton of things going well for you. If those people need to humiliate you so they can "win" so badly, then you can just pity them and see them as being like beggars.
By having an ego of something you're good at (for example, let's say you've been told you're "smart" or "intelligent" your whole life), you live in constant fear because you have to protect that ego, you have to constantly worry there might be someone smarter than you, and you would get very jealous and defensive if you sense someone might be smarter than you
This is probably hard for you to swallow (it was extremely hard for me to accept this at first) because we live in such a competition-based society. We admire the athletes who win, and mock and shame those who lose.
So your nervousness with asking out women or wondering if a certain woman likes you comes because you think you need to fit the image of a guy who is straight, masculine, alpha, and dominant. You DON'T. You already have a ton of things to be grateful and happy for. You are already an awesome person