How to make her talk the most on a date?

[Comatozed]

I've been on a few dates lately, and they've gone ok in the sense that awkwardness was avoided and I feel perfectly fine meeting girls for the first time etc.

But, I often find I do most of the talking which isn't great. Usually, I will be leading the conversation but I go into story teller mode. Either I ask a question such as tell me about a time you embarrassed yourself..and then she will say and you, or something in her response will trigger me to tell a related story.

I feel this is leading to too much of a comfort/friendly vibe. Which I don't want.

I understand this is vague, but does anyone have any input? Is it as simple as 'Tell me about your xzy (friends/dreams/fears)' and then aim to ask follow up questions, rather than answering the same question back to her?

And how do i make her qualify herself, or do i qualify her? So much to learn, help appreciated.

Also, why is it bad to be the one talking too much?

And is sometimes silence better? I think i'm that keen to avoid silences that I may be missing out on chances to build sexual tension with eye-contact? Kinda like yeah it may be more uncomfortable but that also can lead to more attraction. Accurate?

Also, what's qualifying? Do I make her qualify herself or do i do it? And How?

 

[jimmy18]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=40241

The less she knows about you, the more mystery you have and the more she will want to know about you. Don't give her your life story like all the chumps who by doing so automatically lower her interest in you.

Avoid talking about yourself by:

-giving elusive answers to her questions (e.g. make her guess your age if she asks it)
-asking her open questions that keep her in the spotlight
-talking about topical events

 

[Krueg]

Its easy! Ask questions about her. Women are KING at communicating. Ask what her goals are, what her favorite color is, her dream vacation. Keep the focus on her, when she ask something about you keep your answers vague. Dont give away too much at first. Most relationships end within the first 8 weeks, you gotta find out if you like her or not and root out the ones who arent that into you. Sometimes you will have to carry on the conversation a little bit, but some girls can also be shy around a guy they really like.

 

[jurry]

Haha thinking way too much.. Then you make yourself nervous and just talk about nonsense to fill the void and she can sense you are uncomfortable. Then she is uncomfortable. Vaginal constriction. No second date.

Surrender to the moment. Accept that you are what you are, and she may or may not like you, and thats ok. You cannot control her opinion of you, you can only be true to yourself. Go with what comes to you, and remember that she must impress you and be worth your while as well. Most of all, have fun!

 

[Tictac]

Ask her about her favorite subject - her.

 

[Mr Wright]

Remember in school when you learnt "who, what, where, when and how" use something similar to that. Throw in a few assumptions about the stuff she's talking about e.g. I bet you were really naughty in school.

To get her to qualify herself, which is just her trying to show you that she's cool. You just ask her questions that if she answers with more than yes/no, she's qualifying her. The typical ones are you adventerous, are you the jealous type, can you cook? I ask all of these questions on dates and some girls have monologues to reply with. The good thing about these questions are that you can use them to set a frame for the whole relationship/interaction. If she says she's adventurous, you can use that later on to get her to do something she's unsure about.

 

[Tomo]

Ask questions and this is when you build your listening skills because you pick out something they've talked about during their reply and follow on i.e. 'Ahh k, that's so cool. So that means you know how to paint? Where did you learn that...'

When a girl asks you a question, simply brief answer will do before returning the question back onto them and carrying the conversation from then forth.