What if you've been playing the DJ game with a girl for a while, and you know she likes you, but you know she won't get physical without you two getting into a relationship. How do you guys ask a girl out, or to be your girlfriend, without losing any kind of that spark that you had before? It seems like if you voice out that you want a relationship, that it will ruin whatever unspoken connection you once had. Do you just wait for her to mention it? Or do you just try really hard to get into her pants without making things official?
how to make a relationship official
- Thread starter seth03
- Start date
If you know she likes you, then kiss her. What are you scared of, getting rejected? If she tried to kiss you, would you reject her? No, because you have high interest in her. She will get physical if she likes you as much as you say or think she does. You would only do the same. Now if you are sure that she likes you, take her out on a date, end of the night, give her a kiss on the lips. The first kiss should NEVER take place after you establish a formed relationship. The first kiss should be somewhat unexpected and all that romantic bullshit that girls believe in. After the first kiss, make out with her on the next date. Keep moving along.
If she wants you to stop, she'll let you know. But if you are sure she likes you, she'll bring up an exclusive relationship before all that. You shouldn't have to try very hard, she should be working for you. Just keep things cool, kiss her, make out with her, treat her like your girl without mentioning the word girlfriend. If she really does like you, then she'll follow suit and eventually ask you to make it official.
If she wants you to stop, she'll let you know. But if you are sure she likes you, she'll bring up an exclusive relationship before all that. You shouldn't have to try very hard, she should be working for you. Just keep things cool, kiss her, make out with her, treat her like your girl without mentioning the word girlfriend. If she really does like you, then she'll follow suit and eventually ask you to make it official.
slickjesse
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hey seth...ive gone through your situation before. the last time i was in it i took everyones advice and let her bring it up. we made out and fooled around so its not like we were just buddies. she was amazing. but after a while she wasn't bringing it up and i started to get bored cause it was going nowhere. i quit seeing her and got back with an ex-gf. while i was back with the ex, i spoke with this girl. our previous situation came out and through this conversation i found out that she would have been my girlfriend in a second, because she wouldn't bring that up, thats the guys job. (i know some people on here will think shes just screwing with me but i know her well, and she was not. those guys need more real world relationship experience anyway)
my point is that girls with low self esteem bug you about becoming a couple. bring up the topic of relationships in general to get an idea...if your fairly sure that she would want one with you , just come out and ask her (or tell her that you think it would be best). if she says yes, then she has a high interest level and your both happy. if she says no, then you two have different ideas of each other and youll be better off in the long run.
my point is that girls with low self esteem bug you about becoming a couple. bring up the topic of relationships in general to get an idea...if your fairly sure that she would want one with you , just come out and ask her (or tell her that you think it would be best). if she says yes, then she has a high interest level and your both happy. if she says no, then you two have different ideas of each other and youll be better off in the long run.
chicksrock
Master Don Juan
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I am starting to question the keyboard jockey's advice on this board..
i used to follow it stringently
i think the keyboard jockeys have differrent scenarios which doesn't at seem realistic to mine..
anywys .. i think do what feels best in your situation you would know best..
All these dj rules are to be used as a guide only
i'm now starting to think about my situation and yours
"don't be an insecure chump...ask the girl for a relationship...if she says no ..big sh*T... move on"
i used to follow it stringently
i think the keyboard jockeys have differrent scenarios which doesn't at seem realistic to mine..
anywys .. i think do what feels best in your situation you would know best..
All these dj rules are to be used as a guide only
i'm now starting to think about my situation and yours
"don't be an insecure chump...ask the girl for a relationship...if she says no ..big sh*T... move on"
strong like bull
Senior Don Juan
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ive gained a bit of experience on this issue. my ex and current gf are great examples; they are very different personality wise, yet made the same moves.
my ex, was an aggressive german exchange student. VERY upfront about her sexuality. on our first date, we were kicked back on my couch, watching a movie and having a drink. she turned to me, asking if i knew what the "drinking brotherhood" was. she showed me to cross our arms, drink. then she says "and we have to kiss." lol, i didnt mind that. we made out for a bit. first date.
my current gf is somewhat insecure. a bit shy, but warmhearted. LOTS of class, high morals. VERY careful upbringing on her parents part. didnt kiss close until second date. even then, she stopped after one kiss. i didnt mind, but later she explained how she isnt the type of girl to make out on the first few dates. i know shes a virgin; i know shed only made out with a guy for the first time 4-6 months before we started going out.
anyhow. point is, two different girls with COMPLETELY different sexualities. but what do they have in common?
BOTH brought up becoming exclusive, after 3-4 weeks of "dating." both questioned what we were doing, albiet in their own way, and where this was headed. both wanted to make it one-on-one.
personally, i was suprised the second girl knew to ask for being exclusive. shes inexperienced, and i thought she expected it to be bf/gf from the getgo.
guess i was wrong =). goes to show that most girls will want you all for themselves after youve established how great of a guy you are. stay cool, let her come to you about the topic. dont force it on her. i understand that a lot of things are a "mans" job to do, but... imo, and in my experiences, this is a move the girl should make. and WILL make, if you are the prize.
and to specifically answer your question, get physical ASAP. even with the shy, reserved gf i have now, she was very willing to make out, before wanting to be exclusive.
my ex, was an aggressive german exchange student. VERY upfront about her sexuality. on our first date, we were kicked back on my couch, watching a movie and having a drink. she turned to me, asking if i knew what the "drinking brotherhood" was. she showed me to cross our arms, drink. then she says "and we have to kiss." lol, i didnt mind that. we made out for a bit. first date.
my current gf is somewhat insecure. a bit shy, but warmhearted. LOTS of class, high morals. VERY careful upbringing on her parents part. didnt kiss close until second date. even then, she stopped after one kiss. i didnt mind, but later she explained how she isnt the type of girl to make out on the first few dates. i know shes a virgin; i know shed only made out with a guy for the first time 4-6 months before we started going out.
anyhow. point is, two different girls with COMPLETELY different sexualities. but what do they have in common?
BOTH brought up becoming exclusive, after 3-4 weeks of "dating." both questioned what we were doing, albiet in their own way, and where this was headed. both wanted to make it one-on-one.
personally, i was suprised the second girl knew to ask for being exclusive. shes inexperienced, and i thought she expected it to be bf/gf from the getgo.
guess i was wrong =). goes to show that most girls will want you all for themselves after youve established how great of a guy you are. stay cool, let her come to you about the topic. dont force it on her. i understand that a lot of things are a "mans" job to do, but... imo, and in my experiences, this is a move the girl should make. and WILL make, if you are the prize.
and to specifically answer your question, get physical ASAP. even with the shy, reserved gf i have now, she was very willing to make out, before wanting to be exclusive.
Nex
Senior Don Juan
I'd say jokingly, while looking around, "So this is what a relationship feels like..." and check her reaction.
squirrels
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If you're far enough along with this girl to be exclusive, you should already know how to steer her in that direction and how to know if she wants to go that direction with you.
You don't "ask for a relationship" like you ask for raise from your boss or like you ask for a Big Mac at the local McDonalds. Stop being so timid about it...take what you want. If she's not ready, she'll let you know...then decide if you want to wait or, if you think she'll NEVER be ready (be honest with yourself), look for somoene who WILL be.
You don't "ask for a relationship" like you ask for raise from your boss or like you ask for a Big Mac at the local McDonalds. Stop being so timid about it...take what you want. If she's not ready, she'll let you know...then decide if you want to wait or, if you think she'll NEVER be ready (be honest with yourself), look for somoene who WILL be.
