R-juan
I treat my wife like a date number 3 girlfriend ie I maintain frame, lead always, throw sh!t tests back in her face (they never stop the testing, EVER!), don't be too availible, have other things in your life (friends, hobbies etc), tease her, and goof around enough in front of her with other chicks to let her know that I 'could' if I wanted. Simple as that. NEVER loose control of the frame. Also you have to rock solidly in your head KNOW that you're not going to put up with BS and that you WILL WALK with no hesitation if she misbehaves even if that means all of the anti-man crap that comes with a divorce. I didn't use to be like this, I went total textbook AFC for a while and that almost killed the marriage but since redefining and extensively reframing I've turned it around and made it better than it ever was. ALSO with this mindset even if it were to crash tomorrow I know that I have the ability to pick up and move on. As selfish as this may sound you have to have it firmly in your head that YOU are still the most important thing in your life.Over and Out