How to handle "I thought you were different" game.

[Starrie]

We've gone out a few times in the last three weeks. Had dinner at her place once, kinda-sorta made out, her kid called crying about problems, no sex. We saw a movie since then.

Last week I told her let's get together and she declined, so I left it in her court and dropped it. Today she texted me (basically, 'hi'). I said let's get together. She declined. I asked what's up.
She said, "I thought you were different [etc.]."

I know she's just testing, because nothing's really gone awry to bring this about. For now I'm letting it be.

Also, would you handle it any differently if it was face to face?

 

[nismo-4]

AFAIC, she's upset that you won't take her offer for the friendzone (never gettin' sex) and your princess is in another castle.

Above all, she's not interested in you in anything other than friends. You need to spin more plates and go ghost on her. She'll call back if you were worth missing.

Case closed. Simple.

 

[BadNews]

I agree with Nismo. Go ghost, forget about her - if she's interested she'll contact you...happens all the time trust me.

 

[yuppaz]

AFAIC, she's upset that you won't take her offer for the friendzone (never gettin' sex) and your princess is in another castle.

Above all, she's not interested in you in anything other than friends. You need to spin more plates and go ghost on her. She'll call back if you were worth missing.

Case closed. Simple.

That isn't it at all... that's your go-to response foreverything on these boards.
OP -who knows what she's on about, maybe she text that to the wrong person...haha? Just ask her what she is talking about

 

[vatoloco]

Today she texted me (basically, 'hi'). I said let's get together. She declined. I asked what's up.
She said, "I thought you were different [etc.]."

See the bold part? Never do that again.

Once you do, you trigger defense mechanisms. It's easier to move on when you go Ghost. Because you will be moving on, right? I mean, she has already declined. Twice. Without a counter.

Also, would you handle it any differently if it was face to face?

Cool, no problem. Thanks for your time.

*turn around and walk away*

 

[floydb25]

Sounds like you're setting up too many plans... Too eager to keep going out... This signals too much interest. Not good, so soon. There's probably other behavioral patterns you're displaying along with this.

A lot of guys are so worried about being FZ'd and rejected that they go in full speed ahead. Bad idea. Let them chase and show some interest, too. Otherwise youre GOING to get rejected. Gotta chillax.

You dont need to date date date flirt flirt escalate esca... You get the idea. Just make your intentions known, make the proper moves, be assertive, escalate as necessary, and dont act too friendly. Thats it. No need to get all excited and anxious over the do's and dont's.

You CANT be a challenge or build anticipation or maintain a shroud of mystery if you're always showing interest, and wanting to go out, and touching, and whatever else you do to avoid the FZ. This just scares them away.

You dont want to be overly nice (weak, passive, etc), but also not overly aggressive, interested, and sexual. Especially when you make things sexual all the time. This doesnt tell them youre interested - it tells them youre only interested in sex.

Too much of anything is never good. And NEVER worry if someone likes you.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

You're 25. Stop dating single mothers.

 

[VladPatton]

That was a weird statement to drop on you all of a sudden. Go ghost. She also declined twice. You tried, time to let this one be.

 

[vatoloco]

Wait... this broad is a single mom!? Why the fuck are you wasting your time!! Single mommies are good for just one thing.

I'm out. Good luck to you.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Maybe she thinks its weird that you went out with her again after a SH!TTY first date. I mean, come on, no sex and her kid interrupted?? And you didn't have sex the second time?? Can't see why you're stuck on this one.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

,..her kid called crying about problems, no sex.

Well, here's your problem right here.

NEXT.