OddManOut85
Don Juan
ok.so as i sit here,i have alot on my mind.i just turned 21,and i feel like nothing is going for me.for various reasons.your probably thinking your 21,you should be out having the time of your life.well,im not.i think it is cause i cant look forward.im caught up in looking into the past too much because it feels like nothing has moved on or progressed for me.like im stuck,im trapped.and i have been feeling this way for quite a long time now.since i was 16.since then,i havent done much to improve myself.havent improved my confidence,my game,etc.
no.just moped around.and wallowed in self pitty.not good to do is it? so yeah it happened when i was 16,i got depressed.im not as depressed as i was,but i feel kinda hopeless.like all this time has gone bye,and i havent been taking advantage of it.like i missed out on,not just well chicks,but life in general.
i see everyone around me and it seems like theyve got it all so good.there in school,succeeding on in life,chicks like them,theyve got there great group of freinds,which i have some close freinds,but i have always felt like my social networking could be larger.like i wasnt,and i know this sounds cheesy,that popular in high school,which was a social nightmare for me,ill leave it at that.and you would think,well hey college,but no.cant go to college.cause i havent passed certain educational requirements in order to graduate.
so thats like for 2 years now i have had to put my life on hold.now with women,well,i am what you would call a late bloomer.was never good at talking with girls,kinda developed crushes,and all that.pretty much had my first everything last year,in the 19 to almost 20 period.so you see where i am in terms of that.they were all met from online.and had to go through a few frogs till i found my princess,but she left me,acted too clingy and needy a bit,put myself down,and like seeked validation.ok enough about that.im no bradd pitt,but i aint sloth from the goonies either.one thing thats also bugging me is not having gotten in shape sooner,cause lets face it,women are attracted to masculine men,both in body and mindstate,so yeah.im overweight,but not obese.
and thats probably not helped much either.or it could be cause i just havent tried that much to begin with.i mean,what do you do when no one seems interested in you like that,or feels you like that? i know if i was in shape,it would be different.ive started to lose weight.now its like a whole year has gone bye,and no gf,ive met some,but nothing happened.had a ons in april,but that just went eh.and it seems like everyone else around me is meeting chicks and stuff,and im not.and in some ways i am a tad jealous perhaps.i have been using myspace,say what you want,it is a good resource for meeting girls.ive asked some out,some said yes.it is taking the easy way out,but i think most want to get beyond that.im trying to stay positive minded,its hard,but i try.it feels like ive always been behind everyone else in life.its felt like whats wrong with me?
like i have social developmental problems.know what i mean? im not sure if i explained this way i originally thought it out.but i think it speaks for itsself.i know its long,and i appreciate any feedback.and i dont mean to sound like im bi-tching,but its like why me? why did this happen to me? what can i do to feel better? get better etc? ive never had any sort of ltr.is that bad? what does that say about someone? am i worried about that too much? i mean,i heard a saying once,dont think,just do.i suppose that would work.any one else who can relate? what has worked for you? what hasnt?
no.just moped around.and wallowed in self pitty.not good to do is it? so yeah it happened when i was 16,i got depressed.im not as depressed as i was,but i feel kinda hopeless.like all this time has gone bye,and i havent been taking advantage of it.like i missed out on,not just well chicks,but life in general.
i see everyone around me and it seems like theyve got it all so good.there in school,succeeding on in life,chicks like them,theyve got there great group of freinds,which i have some close freinds,but i have always felt like my social networking could be larger.like i wasnt,and i know this sounds cheesy,that popular in high school,which was a social nightmare for me,ill leave it at that.and you would think,well hey college,but no.cant go to college.cause i havent passed certain educational requirements in order to graduate.
so thats like for 2 years now i have had to put my life on hold.now with women,well,i am what you would call a late bloomer.was never good at talking with girls,kinda developed crushes,and all that.pretty much had my first everything last year,in the 19 to almost 20 period.so you see where i am in terms of that.they were all met from online.and had to go through a few frogs till i found my princess,but she left me,acted too clingy and needy a bit,put myself down,and like seeked validation.ok enough about that.im no bradd pitt,but i aint sloth from the goonies either.one thing thats also bugging me is not having gotten in shape sooner,cause lets face it,women are attracted to masculine men,both in body and mindstate,so yeah.im overweight,but not obese.
and thats probably not helped much either.or it could be cause i just havent tried that much to begin with.i mean,what do you do when no one seems interested in you like that,or feels you like that? i know if i was in shape,it would be different.ive started to lose weight.now its like a whole year has gone bye,and no gf,ive met some,but nothing happened.had a ons in april,but that just went eh.and it seems like everyone else around me is meeting chicks and stuff,and im not.and in some ways i am a tad jealous perhaps.i have been using myspace,say what you want,it is a good resource for meeting girls.ive asked some out,some said yes.it is taking the easy way out,but i think most want to get beyond that.im trying to stay positive minded,its hard,but i try.it feels like ive always been behind everyone else in life.its felt like whats wrong with me?
like i have social developmental problems.know what i mean? im not sure if i explained this way i originally thought it out.but i think it speaks for itsself.i know its long,and i appreciate any feedback.and i dont mean to sound like im bi-tching,but its like why me? why did this happen to me? what can i do to feel better? get better etc? ive never had any sort of ltr.is that bad? what does that say about someone? am i worried about that too much? i mean,i heard a saying once,dont think,just do.i suppose that would work.any one else who can relate? what has worked for you? what hasnt?
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