How to get out of this rut - money, disability and my future

[yungahdubz]

I feel as though the situation I'm in is beginning to consume my life.

My mother has a condition called Fibromyalgia, it has many effects on her body, but the main two being she gets very poor sleep which results in her sleeping a lot during theday, and her muscles cause her to be in excruciating pain 24/7. It's gotten so bad that she cant stand up in shower, and is unable to walk to the bus stop which is 5 minutes away.

I feel terrible that she has this condition, and I would give anything for her not to have it.

I also feel terrible about the fact that i get angry at her as this has such a big impact on my life too.

Because of her condition, she is unable to work so our only source of income is through benefits. These are not enough to live on, and as a result, the debts keep piling up. A counciller came over a few weeks back and i overheard her say she is £9k in debt, that's like $18,000. This means that i cant go out with my friends nearly as much as i'd like to.

Also, thinking about this all the time gets me stressed. A way of relieving stress i love is to work out, but i can't because even a crappy gym membership costs too much, and i've gotten to a point where using just a barbell isn't causing me to progress. I've tried looking for a job ever since my NI card came through, that's four months, but with the economy in the state it's in with the recession and credit crunch etc. jobs are hard to come by. I've managed to get myself a couple interviews, and applied to so many places, but haven't actually obtained a job yet.

Furthermore, i don't know what kind of an impact it's going to have on my future. I'd like to go to uni, but that costs a fair bit of money. My bro has just gone off to uni and i hate to think what his debts will amount to at the end.

That's another thing. Considering my mom has no way of getting money apart from what we get through benefits, it will most probably be up to me and my brother to sort them out, but im guessing mostly me.

I don't know what to do, i cant go out, work out, im always stressed and have no way of getting money, no matter how hard i try.

 

[user43770]

At your age, there's only so much you can do to help. I'm assuming you're in grade school and would have to work part-time. I'm not sure about the UK, but in the states, the military is an effective way for someone to pay for school.

 

[Gaucho]

Ah yes, a condition of the nerves.

Some of my family suffer from similar conditions.

All you can do is live your life, enjoy it. That is what your mother would want. Find a part-time job while you finish school (I'm sure there is one out there for you). Don't just give up cause 'the economy is tough'.

Then think about what you really want to do. Do you want to go to Uni? Do you want to manage in the hospitality industry? Do you want to learn a trade?

Do what you want. If you want to go to Uni, just work part-time and do it. Once you have a part-time job to fund your own expenses, it will be a lot easier for your mother.

Nerve conditions are terrible, unlucky to get one, but you really have to live your life and work out what you want. You are in no different situation to many of kids born into middle class or below families. Doesn't mean you can't make something of yourself. 9 grand is really not that much if you chip away at it. But for now, worry about your own life. A small debt like that can wait.

As for your mother, look at the strength she puts up every single day dealing with such a condition, she is a real life, true warrior! You should find inspiration in her, not get angry.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Your problem is that you see your challenges as overwhelming and you feel you have no options and no ability to effect changes in your life.

I want you to google "The Magic Story" and start reading. It will change your life.