How to get my girl to have sex with me?

[sageproduct]

I'm 20, she's 23. I'm a virgin, she's probably not. She's the monogamous type, was in 4 relationships throughout college, each lasting about a year.

We've been going out for almost a month. We're not in a relationship but hit it off really well from day 1 and basically act like a couple, seeing each other 2-3 times a week and texting every day.

I brought her back to my place after our very first date and hooked up. Nothing has progressed past hand play...I had zero sexual experience prior, but apparently I'm doing a decent job as she seems to enjoy herself and tells me I'm good. She definitely knows I'm inexperienced due to a few telltale signs that I didn't care to hide.

How do I get it in? She hasn't given me head yet, is that a necessary prerequisite? I don't really care as much about that, I just want to fwck the sh1t out of her and please her. Do I just wait until she escalates? Do I straight up ask her/have a talk about having sex? Recently I've increasingly been dropping in sexual jokes (ex: i'm on top of her, both naked, then say "one of these days it's going to accidentally slip in."), but I hate how it can be construed as beating around the bush. I do not want to be a fwcking pwssy who beats around the bush, but I'm uncertain as well of just telling her I want to have sex and how I should go about it.

 

[JimmyBizzle]

Just go for it man. Laying on top of each other naked? How could it not go in???

Just take control and go for it.

 

[sageproduct]

^Her response when I made the joke about it slipping in: "It better not."

 

[Scars]

How in the hell do you both get naked and fool around but not fvck? This blows my mind.

-Scars

 

[sageproduct]

Look man, it might be baffling to you that we were naked and didn't have sex, but keep in mind that before meeting her I had never gotten a girl's shirt off nor had a girl's hand anywhere near my crotch.

I'm not a fwcking pvssy, but just understand: I like this girl, I *wanted* to take things slow sexually. At first. Forgive me but with my lack of experience I'm still learning the rules. Plus, trying to have sex with her like that would have really been incongruent with my behavior around her. I know that's not good, but its just how things played out.

 

[BeDJ]

Look man, it might be baffling to you that we were naked and didn't have sex, but keep in mind that before meeting her I had never gotten a girl's shirt off nor had a girl's hand anywhere near my crotch.

I'm not fwcking pvssy, but just understand: I like this girl, I *wanted* to take things slow sexually. At first. Forgive me but with my lack of experience I'm still learning the rules. Plus, trying to have sex with her like that would have really been incongruent with my behavior around her. I know that's not good, but its just how things played out.

Quoted for the truth, go back and look at your title.

4 relationships in college tells you she lays pipe. She wanted to have sex with you, stupid.

it better not = dominate me

Don't say anything, stick it in and enjoy, before she drops your Forest Gump ass.

 

[VladPatton]

How in the hell do you both get naked and fool around but not fvck? This blows my mind.

-Scars

LOL I second that. That's like chewing filet mignon and spitting out every bite.

 

[sageproduct]

Bring it on b1tches! Let's hear all the zingers to make fun of a guy who's worked hard to find himself first starting to get some success!

Serious advice is appreciated

 

[Mike32ct]

Stop thinking in terms of "How do I get her to have sex with me?"

Nooo.

Think in terms of "How do I get her soo turned on that she is begging me to stick it in?"

I'm a late bloomer myself. I was dating this girl from online for about six weeks. We we making out and I was on top of her one night. I got her shirt off, played with and licked her boobs, and we started dry humping.

That part is key. If you can grind a chick (with some clothes missing) and do that for a while with some heavy making out, how can she NOT want you to finish the job? They get VERY turned on when there is only a bit of fabric (maybe your boxers and her panties) preventing you from putting it in.

I mean full on face to face grinding, literally grinding your (still covered by fabric) junk between her legs while making out hard, not the lame grinding her butt stuff they do in the club.

Then you can even pull your boxers off and grind it bare against her panties. (Unless its something lacy, that's rough and abrasive.)

She will tell you when she is ready.

Be ready to hear, "I want you right now" or "F me" or "I need you inside me."

Don't worry about getting head. That has nothing to do with getting laid. Out of 7 chicks, only one gave me head.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Stop thinking in terms of "How do I get her to have sex with me?" Nooo.Think in terms of "How do I get her soo turned on that she is begging me to stick it in?"

What he said. Stop making it about YOU, and more about HER.

Foreplay is your friend. Go online and study erogenous zones - they are the ones you need to hit for her to beg you to go inside her.

Me, I find if I kiss on her neck, suck on her nips and fondle with her p-lips, it turns them on enough to want you. Real talk, I was on a date once with an Armenian girl who swore up and down she wasn't going to give me any action that night. Later on, I started kissing her neck (a.k.a. "my spot") and rubbing on her boobs at the same time... next thing I know, she's pulling off MY underwear and saying "f--k it, let's do it." Good, good times

 

[sageproduct]

^Thx guys.

Funny thing is tho, I already do all of that. I dry hump her so much I've made her *** from it a few times (I'm pretty sure). We've even dry humped completely naked...seriously.

I assure you the wording of my question doesn't really represent my attitude on this. I want to make *her* feel good. If I cared about me I'd be asking how to get head. She jerks me off usually, I'm actually thinking of having her stop doing that. I literally have been trying to get her that horny that she'll just do it but I don't know how to proceed. I do tons of neck kissing, boob and nipple stimulation, and fingering..she once apologized for "being so slow" (sexually)

 

[sageproduct]

Also, I forgot to add. I don't subscribe too much to PUA stuff, but I do remember something one of the guys said - to escalate to sex, it's about comfort, not attraction. Attraction is already there because she is in bed with you in the first place.

Based on what some guys have said, an image I have in my head is that we're in the moment, and then I say "I'm going to grab a condom," without prior discussion. That doesn't seem very congruent with how I am around her though...I could talk about it instead with her beforehand?

 

[Dominance]

Dont wait for her to escalate on you, you are meant to escalate.

How can you be laying on top of each other and not have had sex? If she opens her legs and lets you inside when that is the case it's pretty much on.

Don't say your going to grab a condom or talk about sex. Just go for it. She will tell you if she doesn't want it in the process.

Remember do a fair bit of foreplay, kissing, kissing her on the neck and all over, slowly running your fingertips over her body etc. Wait a while before you finger her and when you put your hand down there if she opens her legs then that is a good sign. From there it's just something you go for, move in between her legs and if she keeps them open she knows what's going to happen.

Hopefully that helps. I had to actually sit here and think how to explain it because it isn't really a conscious thing to me anymore.

There was a bonus book with David Deangelos Double your Dating about sex that helped me alot back when I was first having sex. If you can find that give it a read.

And be CURIOUS. Find out what she likes, try different things, ask her if she likes it etc..

 

[seethehoop]

Yeah stop beating around the bush and beat it around her bush!

If ya both naked then she wants it, she says it better not slip in cos she wants you to take control and the responsibility. You should have teased your d!ck against her playfully, she'd recoil if she really didn't want you to put it in. No recoil, slip it in.

 

[flashpoint]

(ex: i'm on top of her, both naked, then say "one of these days it's going to accidentally slip in.")

WTF? you are actually having sex without having any. that's a first, at least for me.

but I hate how it can be construed as beating around the bush.

that double entendre made me chuckle. isnt that exactly what you do, "beating around the bush"?

I want to make *her* feel good.

maybe that is the problem right there.

an image I have in my head is that we're in the moment, and then I say "I'm going to grab a condom," without prior discussion. That doesn't seem very congruent with how I am around her though...I could talk about it instead with her beforehand?

that is kinda exactly what you should do. of course it is not congruent with how you are around her, but how you have been around her didnt get you inside, did it?

take the lead, dont ask. respect objections, but dont just back off, have a say in what is going to happen as well. and dont just slip it in, put it there and tell her that you will do so. the main thing is there is something going on that you dont like and you dont talk about it, but just make hints and act a little scared of the confrontation. most of the time that is going to kill attraction in the end. so man up.

be aware that there is a faint possibility that she is a false virgin, some chicks are afraid of the pain and avoid actual intercourse but do all the other stuff, even in relationships. if it is something like that, you definitely want to talk about it.

anyways good luck. and good fock.

 

[Mike32ct]

I'm all about making sure there is consent. She either tells me she wants it (like i mentioned above) or when we are really close to doing it I say (in a very low key way) "You ready?" Then she usually nods yes or says "Yeah."

Then I grab the condom without mentioning it.

Don't say "I'm gonna grab a condom." When the time is right, just grab the condom.

I say that for two reasons:

1. You already know she wants to do it. Mentioning the word "condom" gives her more to think about. No point in doing that. There is a small risk of her changing her mind.

2. After (and even during) heavy foreplay like grinding and rubbing your junk on her, do you know what she is secretly fantasizing about? "I know it's naughty and risky, but I secretly hope he takes me raw." I'm serious. Even if she uses condoms religiously ever time, she still fantasizes about "forgetting the condom in the heat of the moment." So don't deny her that fantasy. Make her think you are about to shove it in bare (without mentioning anything about the condom). This will get her REALLY wet. Then at the last minute, put the condom on quick and get to business.

On the other hand, if she ASKS you if you have a condom, then obviously say yes. That's a great "I wanna F" sign. But don't mention it unless she brings it up.

Another good sign during heavy foreplay is when she suddenly stops and says "I have to go pee." She wants to relieve herself so she's more comfortable when you start F-ing. When she comes back from the bathroom, odds are, it's ON.

 

[sageproduct]

I definitely want to make sure there is consent as well.



I can definitely see myself escalating in the manner you described, mike. She did excuse herself to go pee once right before it was obvious we were going to do some hooking up.

Can you elaborate a bit on how to make her think I'm about to do it? Because I've been fingering her for like 4 weeks now and that's the norm. I've tried to go down on her several time but she tells me no or pulls my head away every time. This girl is incredibly sweet to me but always backs down sexually. When I speak sexually/seductively, whether it be in person or via text, she never joins in with me. She'll ALWAYS laugh and diffuse the sexual tension, and last time I kept persisting speaking seductively until she told me to stop.



Does fingering her actually hurt me here by getting her off? I'm pretty sure last time I got her off 3 times, twice by fingering and once by dry humping.

To make her think I'm about to stick it in, do I just kind of position myself to do so and everything but at the last moment grab a condom? I'm pretty sure she knows I'm a virgin btw it took me so long to even start being able to take her bra off.

 

[backbreaker]

]

I'm all about making sure there is consent. She either tells me she wants it (like i mentioned above) or when we are really close to doing it I say (in a very low key way) "You ready?" Then she usually nods yes or says "Yeah."

yeah this 10000000000000000% fvck

it better not = dominate me

yeah **** that ****, that's how dudes end up at a police station with a rape charge, then the same dudes are crying about how half the rapes in america are not real rapes. there is a lot of gray here but this is not something i **** around with, i ant to hear out of her own damn mouth "okay" or something along those lines. this goes beyond game this is your life.

 

[Neil Skywalker]

You say she had 4 relationships of one year before and so we can assume she had sex with them (did you ask?)

It's hard for me to get a mental picture of this. You're dryhumping completely naked. How can you rub your **** on her and NOT get it in. It should almost happen naturally.

My advice would be to not even ask anymore. Next time you're "dryhumping" just slip it in and see what happens.

If this doesn't work, you should freeze her out for a while and not be to concerned with her feelings. You're making all the newbie mistakes there are. Either you bang her the next time or move on.

I would normally never give this advice but I wouldn't even bother with a condom at this point since you're the virgin and you seem to trust her. If you bring up a condom then you give her the chance to say no and to think about it. Just go for the bang.

 

[sageproduct]

Just grabbed condoms from my school's wellness center. They had a couple different kinds, so I grabbed at least one of each. Except for the XL size
I've never even held a condom in my hand before, gonna go try them on...

] yeah this 10000000000000000% fvck

Sry internet speak not translating well. Are you agreeing with Mike or disagreeing with him? I'm assuming agree.

40 Year Old Virgin

I appreciate the insight, but I can tell you that to the best of my self-knowledge, that fear, if it exists within me at all, is very small and is not holding me back.

I have worked my fwcking a$$ of for this. I have fought for every fwcking inch of my success with women. I am NOT a sh1thead who has suddenly gotten lucky. I am not a good looking guy, I am not particularly tall, I am not naturally charismatic, and I am asian (she's white btw). But I DO work out enough that I have a decent body, I DO make an effort (recently) to dress my personal best, I HAVE developed my social skills to find my own brand of humor, but ABOVE ALL, I pushed the fwck out of myself to cold approach women no matter how busy I am. Upwards of 200 cold approaches in the last 6 months. No bullsh1t asking women for directions and then ejecting, no getting drunk then going to a bar/club and muttering retarded sh1t to women/trying to grind on them without a word. Fwck no, I've been doing direct daygame, I open by saying "You are absolutely adorable and I had to come meet you", and I always at least try to get at least a phone number. It took me 2 months before I ever got a number. Then another 2 months before any number ever turned into a date. Then another 2 months before I ever got a kiss from a date.

Sure, I've gotten lucky in the sense that I've met a great girl who can appreciate my personality. But, I met her while I was out sarging, and I worked my fwcking a$$ off to put myself in a position where this was even possible, and I had to use every bit of what I've learned along the way so far.

I know I want this. I don't necessarily care about the sexual gratification. Jerking off is great, I've been jerking off since I was 10 and will keep jerking off until my d1ck is a shriveled raisin. What I DO care about is a chance to experience the passion, intimacy, maybe even romance of sex. And creating that experience for this awesome girl.




To anyone even entertaining options where I rawdog her or do anything that should make me REMOTELY worry about rape charges, I'm sorry but our belief systems are way too different for me to seriously consider any of your advice.







Anyway, I'll keep you guys posted. Nothing will be happening for a few days because both her and I have some stuff going on, but in due time my friends.

On a side note, do I need to go get tested for STDs first? Do I need to get her to go do it too? Obviously that would change everything because it would involve us discussing sex first.