I have a bad feeling I'm losing the interest of nearly every girl I'm working on right now, probably because I've gotten comfortable with the position I'm in and my AFC tendencies are raging hard. Recently I've been getting extremely nervous around all of these ladies, almost like I'm trying to impress them somehow...its ridiculous because the effect is actually counterintuitive as I freeze up and say the dumbest things possible. For example, today with one of them after lunch the girl was carrying a cup of ice. Instead of saying something funny, the best I could manage is "why do you have a cup of ice"...derp. I mean seriously, I think the AFC in me is killing me right now, because I have a good feeling I'm starting to reek of envy and try-hardness. In addition, I think I have extremely high standards, so all of the girls I go for get shtloads of attention from all kinds of guys. How can I stand out without getting anxious or too obsessive? I'm trying to not give a sht but it's really getting to me. (AFC in learning, not sure how to distance myself)
How to get an edge over other guys?
- Thread starter Indy95
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NorwegianDJ
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You should never be too comfortable about girl's interest. Attraction fades over time; don't chill out in the egoistic glory of being wanted. Been there, done that.
Let's try to analyze some of this, however, I should be going to bed.
So you're nervous because you care a lot about what your girls and people think of you. Im glad you realize this. This causes you to be inside your head more, which makes everything less natural and more try-hard. The origin of neediness and all that jizz. Causes you to lose state, and all of this continues in a vicious cycle, lowering your state more and more, rendering you harmful and useless.
I guess my point is to just paint a picture of what's going on, now to the meat, how do we fix this? Ehhh. First off, this is about you, not any girls. You need to step back and look at yourself. Are you what you want to be right now? What can you do to revert back into the track you want to be? Chill out. Relax and take on a bigger perspective. Don't resist anything; don't force anything. Let everything flow, like this post, no matter how vague it is getting
Now put a smile on your face (You are allowed to force that; notice how you can control your mood. Your mood doesnt control you; your action controls your mood. Anger is caused by resistance). As I was saying: Put a smile on your face and go to spread some happiness. This one's for you and me, living out our dreams.
Night.
Let's try to analyze some of this, however, I should be going to bed.
So you're nervous because you care a lot about what your girls and people think of you. Im glad you realize this. This causes you to be inside your head more, which makes everything less natural and more try-hard. The origin of neediness and all that jizz. Causes you to lose state, and all of this continues in a vicious cycle, lowering your state more and more, rendering you harmful and useless.
I guess my point is to just paint a picture of what's going on, now to the meat, how do we fix this? Ehhh. First off, this is about you, not any girls. You need to step back and look at yourself. Are you what you want to be right now? What can you do to revert back into the track you want to be? Chill out. Relax and take on a bigger perspective. Don't resist anything; don't force anything. Let everything flow, like this post, no matter how vague it is getting
Now put a smile on your face (You are allowed to force that; notice how you can control your mood. Your mood doesnt control you; your action controls your mood. Anger is caused by resistance). As I was saying: Put a smile on your face and go to spread some happiness. This one's for you and me, living out our dreams.
Night.
@NorwegianDJ
There is a certain reason why I decided to base my journal along the lines of self improvement instead of women. Your same reason.
@Indy95
Assuming you are in High-School, start dressing better without being a try hard. Get out of those Asics, Skate shoes, or a shoe with a fad. Like Sperry, Polo, and Sanoks. Get a real nice pair of leather shoes. People will not stop noticing my leather boots. You will stand out much more.
There is my two cents. It is night time for me as well.
There is a certain reason why I decided to base my journal along the lines of self improvement instead of women. Your same reason.
@Indy95
Assuming you are in High-School, start dressing better without being a try hard. Get out of those Asics, Skate shoes, or a shoe with a fad. Like Sperry, Polo, and Sanoks. Get a real nice pair of leather shoes. People will not stop noticing my leather boots. You will stand out much more.
There is my two cents. It is night time for me as well.
My friend, if you are fully acceptant of yourself, not afraid to show it, and confident about it, you already have the edge. The thing is, in highschool, everyone is struggling to find themselves, the less popular people are less popular for a reason, and it is THAT reason that they are. The popular people are popular because (even though they not be FULLY actualized) they put themselves out there (Personality) and that's what makes them "Cool". As long as you can be yourself truely, and not give a fvck, then my friend the edge is all yours. It'll be a mighty sharp edge too.
Thanks guys...and yeah I'm pretty sure it's all a mental thing in my head where I feel the need to be overly accepted by other people. I guess I'll just have to work on being myself more. For the time being what should I do? I have a feeling the more I have these worth sht conversations with the girls the more I'm pushing them away. Should I just go cold turkey until I get myself in shape? Or should I try talking to them more?
Jack Wealthy
Master Don Juan
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Being cool is accepting yourself. Look at Tucker Max, he's a drunken douche who destroys social norms yet he is cool because he accepts himself. He still changes and betters himself (no really, he does) and so should you, just accept you're always you and you is always improving.
Pay attention to the little things. If you get a bunch of little things right with your appearance you start to stand wayyy above the crowd. One thing that no one mentions in any attraction work is combing your eyebrows. Girls seriously notice that, even though it doesn't look like much and takes two seconds.
Pay attention to the little things. If you get a bunch of little things right with your appearance you start to stand wayyy above the crowd. One thing that no one mentions in any attraction work is combing your eyebrows. Girls seriously notice that, even though it doesn't look like much and takes two seconds.