How to get a girlfriend

[resonance]

I've frequented this forum for quite a long time without posting, and I have noticed a lot of confusion amongst posters/newbies regarding various techniques discussed and so forth.

Firstly, let me dispel the MYTH that the world is divided into 2 kinds of people (the DJs/the AFCs). WRONG! Everyone in the entire world is a combination of the two, because everyone posseses a combination of DJ qualities and AFC qualities, albeit through varying degrees. Particularly, people will naturally display AFC traits towards those they are highly attracted to or in "love with", and exhibit DJ traits towards those they are repulsed by. This undoubtly happens whether they are aware of it or not. Even in every relationship, it is constantly a power struggle between the two partners. He chases her in the relationship, she gets bored, when she chases him, he starts getting bored. The one who cares the least in the relationship, is the one who is most in control.

After seeing so many failures being posted on the forum, I will try to help out and provide an alternative method to getting girls, that has actually worked extremely well many many times.

BE AN AFC.

You heard me right! Be an AFC in the BEGINNING OF THE GAME. This works especially well for uglier guys.. Shower her with lots of attention, be extremely romantic, passionate, call her often.. etc. then, make her your girlfriend. *Note, at this early stage of the game, her interest is NOT HIGH at all! in fact, she is NOT in love with you yet. She may just keep you around until a better guy comes along.. or just doesn't want to be lonely, or is flattered by the attention, free dates etc. and believe it or not, you have better chances getting a girlfriend by being an AFC. really.

After the relationship gets comfortable, ie. you're both comfortable cuddling / holding hands and she has started developing "warm feelings" towards you, THEN pull out all your DJ tricks and techniques. Be less available, focus on your own life, friends, career etc, compliment less if at all etc. what happens is the girl, beyond reasons due to their control, will be utterly shattered and lost. And even though she was not attracted to you in the beginning, will ultimately end up "chasing" you in the end.

My point is, many people failed because they tried being a DJ TOO early in the game. This does not work well if you have less than average looks, no social proof and so forth. So, do use your DJ techniques, but only AFTER you've gotten the girl. Don't use it in the beginning of the game.

 

[becker]

You won't even get into the relationship in the first place if you're AFC, so this whole plan is useless. The girl is going to be running from you if you do that, I guarantee.

 

[Coolage]

this is the worst tip I have ever read. First of all, the girl will think you are playing games if you suddenly change.

Also, showering a girl with attention does not raise interest level.

 

[happyfrog]

cool

i actually like this tip.

it doesn't matter if you're being dumb and mess things up. everybody does. in the end, trying too hard to be a DJ is as degrading as trying too hard to be NICE. in fact, it's the same thing: trying too hard to be what you think could get you girls.

in the beginning, there was a guy. he wanted to get good at getting girls, so he developped a strategy, a set of techniques that he could apply everytime he wanted a girl. he became a NICE guy. he thought that would work, and it probably did work for the first few times. then the girls got bored and realized they were being fooled, because the guys started to apply the techniques systematically without necessarily feeling them at the same moment.

the same process repeats over and over again. the good true DJs act some kind of way that feels right to them, and they become the model of all a generation of sosuave.com members and the like. then, when everyone knows the pattern and apply the tricks, the girls start to unmask false DJs behind techniques that seemed good from the outside, and the good true DJs have to sit down and meditate about a whole new way of acting, which in fact comes naturally for them.

that's why i like this tip. it tells us that whatever we do, it is almost as good as anything else. that doesnt mean that the girl will appreciate it right away... actually it will take time to tell apart real DJs acting like AFCs, and real AFCs lost in their world of copying others.



do what you want, act like you like, in the end they'll discover the real you
you dont even have to make an effort to get better... all you will change is the outside, which is unimportant.
the only way to change your inside is by being free.

 

[VIVAlasVEGASBaby]

Although i understand where you were going with this, i have to disagree.

First off, if you can be a DJ later in the relationship, why not be it in the beginning. Why would i act differently (AFC) when im happy the way i am (DJ). Teaching someone how to get a girlfriend is generally a short term high that quickly drops.

You shouldn't need to worry about acting differently to get a girl. It's not that difficult. Choose who you want to be and be that person whether your single or in an ltr. It shouldn't change. You should be the same guy 1 week into the relationship as you are 1 year into it, unless of course you decide to change to benefit yourself and your happiness.

Change should happen because you want it to happen, not so you can attract a chick.

I do agree with the first part of post though. Good stuff there.

I had a post a while ago that was entitled "be an AFC"; run search if you want to see it. Anyways the intent of that post was to give guys a different way of viewing themselves, because in my opinion that is the first step in change, knowing who you want to be, but more importantly who you are. I like this post in the sense that it calls people to rethink their actions. However, changing who you are and how you act specifically to hold onto a chick is where i have to disagree.

 

[NRM]

Being a DJ means you are content with life and have no problem attracting women. DJ traits attract women. AFC's pursue women. If you do a complete 180 on a woman later in the relationship, the only thing that could happen is she'll do a 180 on you.

You shouldn't have to mask yourself in the beginning or at all. You are who you are. The whole DJ principle is about self-improvement and improving yourself is what ends up getting you the ladies. A DJ does not care if he is shot down because he knows there are other ladies that do want to get with him. An AFC will wonder what he did wrong for the next few weeks. It's all about you.

You shouldn't be a DJ or an AFC when you approach a girl. You should be you. It isn't an on/off switch that you can just pull. You should improve yourself in all likes of life and be happy for who you are, not chase a woman around hoping to get into her pants.

And no, you do not have a better chance at getting a girlfriend by being an AFC. Especially not an attractive one who can get attractive males who are not complete pansy wimps who will let women walk all over them. It's just not what nature intended.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

this tip does sound very odd and i do not think i will use it on purpose but i have noticed i have made girls that do not like me very much go to saying there in love with me, but i also noticed it was often a temporery thing and with in a week or 2 they where not attracted anymore.

 

[tristan22]

I sort of see your point, but being a longtime AFC i have actual proof that it doesn't work. I've been an AFC to hot girls and average girls and each and every time it blew up in my face. During my AFC i really degraded myself by doing some of the most ridiculous stuff you could ever imagine.

Although i've ditched the AFC persona, i've yet to reap the benefits of being a DJ.

 

[jonny football hero]

Originally posted by check_mate_kid_uk
this tip does sound very odd and i do not think i will use it on purpose but i have noticed i have made girls that do not like me very much go to saying there in love with me, but i also noticed it was often a temporery thing and with in a week or 2 they where not attracted anymore.

You do not make sense, did you learn how to use punctuation at school?

 

[biker_gixxer]

Originally posted by becker
You won't even get into the relationship in the first place if you're AFC, so this whole plan is useless. The girl is going to be running from you if you do that, I guarantee.

I agree 100%

 

[Trance]

Originally posted by NRM
Being a DJ means you are content with life and have no problem attracting women. DJ traits attract women. AFC's pursue women. If you do a complete 180 on a woman later in the relationship, the only thing that could happen is she'll do a 180 on you.

You shouldn't have to mask yourself in the beginning or at all. You are who you are. The whole DJ principle is about self-improvement and improving yourself is what ends up getting you the ladies. A DJ does not care if he is shot down because he knows there are other ladies that do want to get with him. An AFC will wonder what he did wrong for the next few weeks. It's all about you.

You shouldn't be a DJ or an AFC when you approach a girl. You should be you. It isn't an on/off switch that you can just pull. You should improve yourself in all likes of life and be happy for who you are, not chase a woman around hoping to get into her pants.

And no, you do not have a better chance at getting a girlfriend by being an AFC. Especially not an attractive one who can get attractive males who are not complete pansy wimps who will let women walk all over them. It's just not what nature intended.

word

 

[Weeuweed]

hey guess wut..

that's how i managed to get my first and current gf

by being a bit if not a lot of afc..

of course.. im not that afc anymore...

especially after she complained im too 'insecure'
i was so dumb at times.... keep asking .....her do u like me?
i wanan puke ....

then we broke up coz of..... my insecurity, i swore at her.. being cold at her ...

man, is there any worst bf??



but 3 months later, she come back
she is making all the moves now

 

[Weeuweed]

Originally posted by biker_gixxer
I agree 100%

when i asked her to get into a relationship with me....
she didnt even had a tiny bit of feelings on me ..
the expectation was little and low..
she only agreed coz she wanna gimme a chance =/

and now.. the girl loves me

i wonder why.....
well.. i did called almost everyday.. and i think she got bored at me...

hmm.. this is confusing

 

[DJ_Dork]

I was expecting to see a list or steps on how to get a girlfriend. Then I read " JUST BE AFC " - that is a dumb ass tip ever. now you got boys like ivanchin99 who think being an AFC like himself (calling everyday, hogging her time) is the key to having a relationship.

It's alright, even physically (cough cough emotionally needy) needy people get relationships.

 

[Capi Crimini]

This almost feels like Pooks Jerk/Nice Guy post... except a LOT shorter an a LOT stupider.

 

[Capt.Jack Sparrow]

Re: cool

Originally posted by happyfrog
i actually like this tip.

Wait a sec.. what in the...

This is one bad tip. Look at that! A newbie is taking this advice!! SOmeone do something quick. Before any other newbies listen to him.

 

[Weeuweed]

It's alright, even physically (cough cough emotionally needy) needy people get relationships

so u're saying DJ not even needy for a relationship?
then
WHY ARE ALL OF U HERE LEARNING TO BECOME A DJ ???
im sick of the statement DJ dun need girls...
that's jus a mind set.. dun even a reliality

lol, if that's so true..why become a DJ ?!?

I was expecting to see a list or steps on how to get a girlfriend. Then I read " JUST BE AFC " - that is a dumb ass tip ever. now you got boys like ivanchin99 who think being an AFC like himself (calling everyday, hogging her time) is the key to having a relationship.

did i ever say that's the key??
mind u ... there're tons of things that i do that i DID NOT MENTION
u THINK the way i get a girl is being complety AFC over her??

i read the bibble and know when to / not to go overboard..


i was labelled 'AFC' by u coz u found 2 or 3 AFC traits in me .... u dont even know me..
bla i got 2,3 parts of me fits into the AFC type??
and i was called AFC instantly?? how funny

ppl started calling names when u become a mix of df/afc/freak/normal..

u're really good.. u can judge ppl in one sentences


And Stop assuming by not being a DJ.. u're an AFC

there are MORE THAN 2 TYPES OF PPL in this world
unless u only live with 1 person
do i even need to tell u that??

he explain better than me :

Firstly, let me dispel the MYTH that the world is divided into 2 kinds of people (the DJs/the AFCs). WRONG! Everyone in the entire world is a combination of the two, because everyone posseses a combination of DJ qualities and AFC qualities, albeit through varying degrees

resonance's tips is not even completely wrong..
it may works in certain places.. certain type girls.

there are MANY ways of getting a girl..
of course there is!!!
We wont even be here if there arent .
u can be a bit of unpredictable, sometimes needy, romantic, nice blablabla......

THE KEY IS NOT EXAGGRATING SOMETHING U DO!!
nice guys methods works as long as u doesnt become 'too nice'
allow her to even kill u

and Jerks methods works too .. as long as u have ur limits...

Mods: calll fireman!!! they gonna flame this room off

 

[Weeuweed]

gee.... wut a waste of time..

arguing something that's not gonna have a winner


we could cancel each other's reply back for years..

and if u dun mind.. i have an exam to study

why dun u ju accept the fact there're a lot of diff ppl out there who get bunch of girls beside DJs..