So I met new people and started talking to them. I thought I had figured out who had the highest 'social ranking' - the girl was fairly pretty, smart and seemed to get attention even though she acted like an absolute prat.
Afterwards, when she left this was completely overturned when everyone started *****ing about how much of a prat she was. She never really had any social ranking, because people only entertained her - they didn't respect her.
What really stood out for me was that the people who actually had social ranking never gave off the impression of this. They weren't the centre of attention in the slightest. They were content to sit in the background and relax, yet people seemed to gravitate around them.
That seems incredibly paradoxical to me, although it makes sense. Those people never proved themselves and as such they were making a statement of 'I'm better than this'.
It almost seemed magnetic. These were two people specifically, and they never seemed to be the centre of attention, but they just seemed to relax and go with the flow, and somehow I ended up respecting them above everyone else.
The problem is, how do you achieve this? Surely you have to first prove yourself before you can achieve this mentality?
Perhaps you just need to prove it to yourself, and others will recognise this through body language and your character?
Clearly, since I don't act in this way, I haven't achieved this clarity of mind. I can get people to like me very easily, but respect? I don't think I'm there yet.
Should I try to emulate these people, and act incredibly laid back? The danger with this is that I may simply fade away into the background - what separates those that fade into the background, with those that are magnetic (whilst being just as quiet)?
On another note, I've found I really need to be more articulate - it makes people listen to you. Do you guys have any tips to improve this? For now I'll just try to talk more slowly and listen intently to what the other person is saying, and to some degree think of what I'll say before I say it.
Also - if I see a person acting like a dumb *****, I'll call them out on it. I'm pretty sure everyone in that group WANTED to knock the prattish girl down, just nobody stood up to it. Neither did I, I guess.
Afterwards, when she left this was completely overturned when everyone started *****ing about how much of a prat she was. She never really had any social ranking, because people only entertained her - they didn't respect her.
What really stood out for me was that the people who actually had social ranking never gave off the impression of this. They weren't the centre of attention in the slightest. They were content to sit in the background and relax, yet people seemed to gravitate around them.
That seems incredibly paradoxical to me, although it makes sense. Those people never proved themselves and as such they were making a statement of 'I'm better than this'.
It almost seemed magnetic. These were two people specifically, and they never seemed to be the centre of attention, but they just seemed to relax and go with the flow, and somehow I ended up respecting them above everyone else.
The problem is, how do you achieve this? Surely you have to first prove yourself before you can achieve this mentality?
Perhaps you just need to prove it to yourself, and others will recognise this through body language and your character?
Clearly, since I don't act in this way, I haven't achieved this clarity of mind. I can get people to like me very easily, but respect? I don't think I'm there yet.
Should I try to emulate these people, and act incredibly laid back? The danger with this is that I may simply fade away into the background - what separates those that fade into the background, with those that are magnetic (whilst being just as quiet)?
On another note, I've found I really need to be more articulate - it makes people listen to you. Do you guys have any tips to improve this? For now I'll just try to talk more slowly and listen intently to what the other person is saying, and to some degree think of what I'll say before I say it.
Also - if I see a person acting like a dumb *****, I'll call them out on it. I'm pretty sure everyone in that group WANTED to knock the prattish girl down, just nobody stood up to it. Neither did I, I guess.
