How to find out if she has a bf?

[MaudGrimes]

Just needed some quick advice guys - there's a new hottie at my work who I'm going to start letting loose the chat on but I want to check she hasn't got a BF so I don't waste my time. Any good ways I could find this out in a subtle way? Nobody else in the office will know so I won't be able to find out from them...

 

[OnTheWayUp]

In general, it is not your concern whether a girl has a bf or not, it is hers. As men, it is our job to find out whether a woman is sexually interested or not- regardless of whether she is "in a relationship" or not. It's the woman's relationship to defend, not yours- it's super easy to reject you. Your question is, therefore, an invalid one. You want to find out whether she likes you? Invite her out, and make a move on her (ie try and kiss her).

However, it's been said many times on here, and for good reason: don't hit on girls at work! There are plenty of other available women out there, so why risk getting involved with someone who could wreck your career if things go wrong? You only have one job and there are billions of women out there... think over that carefully. Use your hobbies and your social circle to meet girls.

 

[ilikecharlene]

Ask her what she did on the weekend, and if she went with her boyfriend. If she says "I don't have a boyfriend", then there's your answer.

Make sure though that your inquiry is an innocent by comment or small talk, as an example:

 

[horaholic]

I usually just wait till she's off her phone, and ask if her BF is checking up on her. You never have to wait too long these days.

 

[Aaron B]

"are you single?"

 

[f283000]

Just needed some quick advice guys - there's a new hottie at my work who I'm going to start letting loose the chat on but I want to check she hasn't got a BF so I don't waste my time. Any good ways I could find this out in a subtle way? Nobody else in the office will know so I won't be able to find out from them...

You can't really wuss out of this in a work situation. This is what you are trying to do in finding sneaky ways to find out if she has a bf cause you don't have the balls/and or are scared of the consequences.

If you were not scared you would ask her out. That's the #1 way to find out if she is single/not single and if she finds you attractive.

Because you are at work it doesn't matte what way you go about it people will still find out. So stop trying to weasel yourself out of possible embarrassment and just be a man and ask her out. You will respect yourself more in the process when you realize that pushing the envelope is what men are supposed to do.

 

[SharinganUser]

If she is attracted to you, she won't have a boyfriend. If she isn't, then she will have one.

 

[nismo-4]

Hopefully she likes you enough when you make your move.

If she does find you attractive, then she's single.

If she does not find you attractive, then she's got a boyfriend.

Don't ask her or anybody else if she's single. That's just a wussy move. You need to quickly build comfort and attraction and make a move. Don't be scared to take risks.

Case closed.

 

[evansblue]

Co-workers around the same age sooner or later start hanging out with each other and socialize outside of work. I would just play it cool for a while. When it comes to cold approaches, you obviously have to go right up to them and show interest. But it's different when it comes to social/work circles. I wouldn't just start hitting on her right away, or trying to find out if she has a boyfriend. That's a bit amateurish. You'll come off as too eager, especially considering that she's new at your work. Talk to her for a while, get to know her. Make her wonder if you have a girlfriend, what you do on your off time, etc.

 

[Deep Dish]

ilikecharlene:
Ask her what she did on the weekend, and if she went with her boyfriend. If she says "I don't have a boyfriend", then there's your answer.

I personally take the subtler approach of just asking about the weekend. If she frames her language with “We…” then I know to move on, whereas interested ladies attracted to you will frame themselves with “I…” Women communicate with subtle nuances.

 

[MaudGrimes]

I personally take the subtler approach of just asking about the weekend. If she frames her language with “We…” then I know to move on, whereas interested ladies attracted to you will frame themselves with “I…” Women communicate with subtle nuances.

I actually asked her this today and she said "I went to the movies with some friends" so I think that shows she's single...

 

[bigneil]

If she is attracted to you, she won't have a boyfriend. If she isn't, then she will have one.

So true.

 

[runner83]

Hopefully she likes you enough when you make your move.

If she does find you attractive, then she's single.

If she does not find you attractive, then she's got a boyfriend.

Don't ask her or anybody else if she's single. That's just a wussy move. You need to quickly build comfort and attraction and make a move. Don't be scared to take risks.

Case closed.

I actually believe this should be adjusted to read:

If she does find you attractive, then she's single or it doesn't matter that she has a boyfriend, she'll want to be with you regardless.

If she does not find you attractive, then she's got a boyfriend, or it doesn't matter that she doesn't have a boyfriend, she won't want to be with you regardless..

Either way, I agree with the last bit partly. Do not ask if she is single...that will just remind her of her boyfriend if she actually one.

But it all depends on how much you value your job, as to how aggressive you should be.

I have banged 3 chicks from work before (1 married) and in each case, I made sure that she followed you in the level of interest.

The last thing you want is to go all out and get involved in a s!xual harassment case.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I usually just wait for the boyfriend card to slip out in conversation. Usually doesn't take too long.

 

[SharinganUser]

If she does find you attractive, then she's single.

If she does not find you attractive, then she's got a boyfriend.

Haha almost what I said word for word! Stop riding my coattails man.

I actually believe this should be adjusted to read:

If she does find you attractive, then she's single or it doesn't matter that she has a boyfriend, she'll want to be with you regardless.

If she does not find you attractive, then she's got a boyfriend, or it doesn't matter that she doesn't have a boyfriend, she won't want to be with you regardless..

Yes that is exactly what it means. But when you put it that way it doesn't exactly roll off of the tongue.

 

[nismo-4]

Haha almost what I said word for word! Stop riding my coattails man.





Yes that is exactly what it means. But when you put it that way it doesn't exactly roll off of the tongue.

I knew what to write when I read the op's post. Good thing you're smart and have an understanding for the game!

 

[Zerro]

I usually just wait for the boyfriend card to slip out in conversation. Usually doesn't take too long.

The last time a girl mentioned her boyfriend to me without having to be asked was sophomore year of high school.

Even the times I have found out indirectly the only way to confirm it was to bring it up when talking to her. Even then often they'll be hesitant to talk about him as they know that a guy is likely to stop paying attention to her once it's confirmed that she isn't available to him.