How to effectively avoid “AFC BY ASSOCIATION”

[otr4]

I have two questions:

ONE: My friend is a total AFC. COMPLETELY. Just believe me on this one. I’ve been studying seduction for years and this is a very accurate definition of my friend John.
Have you guys noticed how it is nearly impossible to talk sense to a guy who has no clue about this DJ stuff, or women in general? A guy who is too stubborn to change their mind? A guy who is so completely wrapped up in the MYTHS of how things “should be” with women that they are unable to see a different perspective or change their behavior at all? How do you guys talk sense to a guy who is completely clueless and close-minded? I really want to help my friend out.

TWO: I happen to be around my friend John a lot and he gives off the WORST AFC vibes. However, John happens to know A LOT of hot girls. They, of course, think he is a GREAT friend, but he never gets laid, EVER, and is COMPLETELY frustrated.
My problem is, when I meet these hot girls he knows, and they find out I’m John’s friend, they seem to just TURN OFF on me–like it’s some sort of disease to be associated with my friend. They IMMEDIATELY act like I’m just another AFC as well, just like my friend, and I almost cease to exist. It’s that bad. THIS IS REAL, I SWEAR. There is no avoiding this situation because I’m not about to act like I don’t know my friend, just to get a woman.
Do you guys have any advice on how to most effectively deal with this type of situation?

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

That's an interesting phenomenon.

Perhaps you could try setting up some times when you meet or go out with this hot friends without him? Like say you have a group thing to go to the movies, and convince your friend not to go once or twice so you can show off your non-AFCness.

 

[blue17]

It's a good idea, but I don't think the AFC would buy it as he would probably be jealous of otr4 if he tried to make a move or anything like that.

 

[Easy Tiger]

Originally posted by otr4
I have two questions:

ONE: Have you guys noticed how it is nearly impossible to talk sense to a guy who has no clue about this DJ stuff, or women in general? A guy who is too stubborn to change their mind? A guy who is so completely wrapped up in the MYTHS of how things “should be” with women that they are unable to see a different perspective or change their behavior at all? How do you guys talk sense to a guy who is completely clueless and close-minded?

Essentially this is a question about leadership - how can you lead your friend to become more realistic in his views about dating and women?

Some people can have something explained to them and embrace it, others need to have things demonstrated before they get the picture. Try showing your friend the 'truth" about women by going out with him, hitting on random women and scoring. Lead by example. This should undermine some of his perceptions and lead him to reevaluate his opinions.

TWO: I happen to be around my friend John a lot and he gives off the WORST AFC vibes. However, John happens to know A LOT of hot girls. They, of course, think he is a GREAT friend, but he never gets laid, EVER, and is COMPLETELY frustrated.
My problem is, when I meet these hot girls he knows, and they find out I’m John’s friend, they seem to just TURN OFF on me–like it’s some sort of disease to be associated with my friend. They IMMEDIATELY act like I’m just another AFC as well, just like my friend, and I almost cease to exist. It’s that bad. THIS IS REAL, I SWEAR. There is no avoiding this situation because I’m not about to act like I don’t know my friend, just to get a woman.
Do you guys have any advice on how to most effectively deal with this type of situation?

Don't rely on him or his friends for sexual interaction. Get your own dates. Use his hot friends as social proof if you need to, but make sure you hit on other women outside you social circle. Chances are that having his hot friends hanging with you will elevate you in the eyes of other women, and success with other women will elevate you in the estimation of his hot friends.

Or you could just not go out with him when on the prowl....either way works.

 

[Island]

.....

**** AFCs. They will awaken in their own time. In the meantime, I suggest that even if you do not tool them, stay away from their beliefs. They can resent you for it, and even take action against you.

Make yourself VISIBLY different from him, and it'll show. Look different, act different, talk different.

 

[DeathDealer]

Re: .....

Originally posted by Island
**** AFCs. They will awaken in their own time. In the meantime, I suggest that even if you do not tool them, stay away from their beliefs. They can resent you for it, and even take action against you.

Make yourself VISIBLY different from him, and it'll show. Look different, act different, talk different.

uh how about just go to places without him?

association can be influential to other people. if you are by yourself peoplpe may think "oh he's a loser, all lonely" but if you appear outgoing and confident that gets thrown out of the window. BUT if you bring along a nerd/dork/afc person - no matter how confident/outgoing you are, they will judge you by the friends you keep.

I have this one dorky afc friend that I try not to bring to social events - nothing personal but he just stands there and doesn't want to talk to anyone or appear like he's having fun. i'm a quiet guy too but at least i make an attempt at being social and enjoying my time too.

 

[MindOverMatter]

here is a tip, stop depending on your afc friend to meet women. he knows a ton of hot girls, how come you don't?

 

[No Escape]

I have a friend who's 25, and he talks to these 3 girls all of whom are 19 and 20. They tease the sh*t of him and he never gets any. I always tell him to give it up, that these chicks are making a fool out of him, but he doesn't seem to care or get it. He insists that eventually they might down the road "put out" for him, so it's worth it to keep trying. This has been going on for a couple of years now with these girls. I've said to him, if they haven't "put out" for him by now, they most likely never will.

 

[MrCode]

I have some friends like this. One is particularly annoying in that not only will he never listen to my advice, he is convinced I have no skill with women and will even say sh!t to try and bring me down. It really pisses me off, so I'm just trying to get him out of my life but the circumstances make it really hard.

I think a person can totally outgrow a friend and at that point you do yourself and them a favor by cutting them out of your life. Of course most of the time they won't like this, especially if they are as lame and needy as my friend. I shouldn't even call him a friend anymore actually. Maybe leech would be a better term. Or life sucking vampire. Or monkey on the back. Obviously I have some issues here and need to do something to get rid of this negativity.

 

[Fenderules]

MrCode:
" think a person can totally outgrow a friend "



yeah tell me about it. I'v cut friends like crazy. For a while there i had around 25 ppl i could hang out with. But most of them i grew out and a bunch turned AFC or even worse. Just complete emo's that just want to play video games. Terrible. I cut it down now to like 10 now and they are still going down





i need to find new friends that want to party and have fun with chicks.

 

[manicmaximum]

i also have such an AFC friend and i also have friend who is a bona-fide natural. whenever we're out in a group and we meet girls, the natural will just stand out. he's more aggressive (more kino, huge c&f).

the thing is, if youre a true DJ you don't have to worry about this, because your frame will overcome their perception of you.

 

[Synthesize]

Yeah, I don't hang out with my AFC friends anymore. They bring me down.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Why should I care about my freinds' sex life?Unless he was coming on to me or some sh!t I don't even ask.

But if they are tottaly repulsing women then I just don't PU women with them that's all.I'm not gonna alter my whole life just to get some pvssy.I've done enough of that already.

 

[MrCode]

Originally posted by Tha Realnezz
I'm not gonna alter my whole life just to get some pvssy.I've done enough of that already.

I can see the logic of that. Bros before hos after all. In my case the monkey on my back brings me down in other ways besides women. It is just jealousy and negativity, which is sh!t I don't need to deal with. I've got some more true "friends" so I know what it should be like.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

although them associating you with your freind will make things harder for you, if you got your gane together they will very quickly adjust there oppinion of you.

as for him not beliving in all this stuff, well i would have thought he could see his lack of success and realise somthing must be wrong...