How to deal with a prude girl?

[Who Dares Win]

I know this girl and already met her 2 times after the first day at a house party, she is very nice to me, she picks up the phone and is available anytime I call her and return phone calls and text really fast therefore I suppose her interest level is ok.

The problem is that she is very prude she doesnt even want to make out and once she whispered she doesnt know how to do it, probably cause she is 18 and coming from a conservative family doesnt help.
She told me that if I want her I have to be patient for weeks (there it comes a red flag waving)

I sincerly have no idea how to deal with that being myself used to deal with other "kind" of girls, anyone have any suggestion or experience about?

She is also paranoid about guys trying to take advantage of her for sex only.
The plan I come out with is to keep meeting her while dating other girls till she "feels" ready, dont know anyway if making her jelous or threatened from competition would help or backfire.

 

[Jariel]

It depends what you want out of it. You can either accept what she's saying, stick it out, enjoy her company, enjoy dating and build comfort levels until she's ready to go further, or you can move on and look for someone who will put out easier.

All these imposed time limits and rules about having sex by a specific date that we read about so often are utter nonsense, probably started by some PUA gurus with a point to prove.

I was friends with my ex girlfriend for 2 months before we kissed and we waited a month to have sex after we started dating. We were together for 5 years. I also waited a month with a previous relationship that lasted 3 years. One of my closest friends waited 6 months to take his girlfriend's virginity and they've been together 8 years and have been married 1 year.

On the other hand, I've rushed into sex with many girls and they fizzle out really quickly. For one, it feels like too much too soon and secondly, once you have sex, there's not much more to aim for. Plus, you find a lot of quality girls who are seeking a relationship will hold back on sex as a way of filtering out the players. Unfortunately, I have scared many of these women away by pushing for sex too soon.

I have to be honest, I really enjoy the tension that builds when you're dating someone and escalating towards sex. After several dates, making out, touching, that first time you have sex is explosive!!

Just ask yourself if this is a girl worth waiting for and who you want to keep around. If so, then just be patient and work on building rapport and comfort.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Sincerly I evaluated that option of simply waiting, problems are 2:

1)hard rock c0ck looking for satisfaction and worse:

2)what if she change her mind in the process so not only I dont get her but I also lose weeks of pleasure

The second case would really "p1ss me off"..

And what is your opinion about giving the idea of competition?

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Sincerly I evaluated that option of simply waiting, problems are 2:

1)hard rock c0ck looking for satisfaction and worse:

2)what if she change her mind in the process so not only I dont get her but I also lose weeks of pleasure

The second case would really "p1ss me off"..

And what is your opinion about giving the idea of competition?

I agree.

If Jariel believes his path leads to a better class of woman, then all due respect. Everyone has their own preference. However, I feel that any woman who withholds sex from me as an attraction technique would be a crappy girlfriend.

Sex is what adults do. You know the game.....The girl holds out for 2 or 3 dates. Maybe even 4. But at some point, as a sexually-healthy adult, she'll want sex, and it'll happen. The idea of dating a woman for 2 or 3 months without sex is almost insulting. As if she thinks:
A- I have no other options
B- She's so great that I'll wait around for her

Jariel, I'll repeat that I respect your path, but I think you'd agree that there are more stories of failure from a guy waiting around for a girl than success stories. Sure, YOU'VE had success in that method...but looking around, I'm not seeing a lot of that here. It's just that once we reach a certain age, it's normal to express your interest in a partner sexually.

Not to mention, just like you say that women withhold sex to filter out the players...well, I use sex to filter out the time-wasters. If a girl is serious about me, we'll have sex. No, not on the first date. But somewhere within the first 4. Making me wait around for 3 months just isn't realistic. In fact, the girls who have went on 5, 6, 7 sex-less dates with me are the ones who simply weren't interested and stopped calling. It's hard to get that sexual passion to a peak after you've spent a month doing nothing but kissing and talking.

It's like....wait, so NOW that i've talked your ear for 8 weeks, you're going to suddenly rip your clothes off in a fit of passion? I don't see it happening...

 

[Jariel]

Oh wait, I really need to clarify something...

Although I do believe waiting and taking things at a natural pace can lead to good relationships and land you quality women, and I actually respect a woman more if she makes me wait for sex I do not believe you should be pursuing her exclusively.

Until you're in a committed relationship, you should always continue spinning plates, dating other women and even having sex in the mean time. Like you guys said, many of these situations go nowhere and you don't want to be left with no other options.

But even if you're waiting for sex with this girl, you should be escalating, not just talking. If all you're doing is taking her out and chatting, then I agree, it's not going anywhere. You should be making out, fooling around and going a bit further each time you see each other. This is where the tension builds to that explosive first time.

 

[Jariel]

Oh wait, I really need to clarify something...

Although I do believe waiting and taking things at a natural pace can lead to good relationships and land you quality women, and I actually respect a woman more if she makes me wait for sex I do not believe you should be pursuing her exclusively.

Until you're in a committed relationship, you should always continue spinning plates, dating other women and even having sex in the mean time. Like you guys said, many of these situations go nowhere and you don't want to be left with no other options.

But even if you're waiting for sex with this girl, you should be escalating, not just talking. If all you're doing is taking her out and chatting, then I agree, it's not going anywhere. You should be making out, fooling around and going a bit further each time you see each other. This is where the tension builds to that explosive first time.

 

[Jariel]

Oh wait, I really need to clarify something...

Although I do believe waiting and taking things at a natural pace can lead to good relationships and land you quality women, and I actually respect a woman more if she makes me wait for sex I do not believe you should be pursuing her exclusively.

Until you're in a committed relationship, you should always continue spinning plates, dating other women and even having sex in the mean time. Like you guys said, many of these situations go nowhere and you don't want to be left with no other options.

But even if you're waiting for sex with this girl, you should be escalating, not just talking. If all you're doing is taking her out and chatting, then I agree, it's not going anywhere. You should be making out, fooling around and going a bit further each time you see each other. This is where the tension builds to that explosive first time.

 

[Fly By Night]

To me it sounds like she is not even sure if she wants to put out for you. Most prude girls I know are doing that to filter one-track minds so I hope you are looking for a LTR with her (you met her at a house party?) otherwise you might find yourself in some drama after you get her panties off. I definitely agree with what Jariel said: if you keep escalating interest in her, I'm positive she will put out.

 

[Who Dares Win]

So apart the dating other girls, what is the best way to operate in this case?

Keep going out with her and trying to escalate? make her jelous to speed up the process? any hint?

 

[runner83]

If she is attracted to you s!xually, she will let it happen.

If she isn't attracted to you s!xually, then it won't happen.

Your role as a guy is threefold:

a) Pursue other options at the same time

b) Continue gradual escalation and see if she goes with it - if she is inexperienced (and don't necessarily accept that is true, could be b/s), may take longer than usual

c) Don't get too overly emotional about it either way

 

[ilikecharlene]

She is who she is, so move on and find somebody else. if she's a prude/conservative type, then she would only give it out in marriage or something.

 

[old_skoolr]

It scares me abit when u say "paranoid" dude, be careful

Ive had girls say wait for me in the past...I always reply yes, for the reasons below

a) **** test, to see what u want, if u want just sex, and say no, u lose out
b) since shes testing she doesnt plan to wait that long either,
c) women cant resist me for that long

so wait if u think shes worth it, but yeh make sure u keep your mind occupied with other girls as well

 

[old_skoolr]

It scares me abit when u say "paranoid" dude, be careful

Ive had girls say wait for me in the past...I always reply yes, for the reasons below

a) **** test, to see what u want, if u want just sex, and say no, u lose out
b) since shes testing she doesnt plan to wait that long either,
c) women cant resist me for that long

so wait if u think shes worth it, but yeh make sure u keep your mind occupied with other girls as well

 

[DonGorgon]

she is just being a prude with you because she does not like you you so you don't deal with her..

 

[Who Dares Win]

Update: I stopped contacting her as much as I was doing and limited my self to few messages here and there, in all the cases replies arrived right after or in few minutes at the most (I get it as a sign of interest).

She invited me to a party but it was her crew so I realized it could backfire to go in someone else house where a already made group was gathering and stay in the middle of the fire or fail the "girls approval test".
She called me the following day to tell me how good the party was and how I should have had come, I replied that I was invited out with other people.

I'll be meeting her on the week-end and update some more.

Any critique or suggestion?

 

[yuppaz]

Keep doing what your doing. If your into her then be patient(ish) if you don't care either way and just want to bang her then just cut bait - it's d1ck to her if your just waiting around to f*ck her then bail on her.

 

[Who Dares Win]

UPdate: we keep talking to each other and the fact that she saw me with an other girl at a cafè somehow increased her interest a little bit.

We were supposed to meet on friday but didnt close the deal in the afternoon, she is probably still angry at me cause I once did a little flake on her (we were supposed to talk about the evening one day but I didnt called her for the details due to a football match).

 

[PapiChulo]

I would ditch her, hence it sounds like bull****. She withdraws sex on purpose.....tell her you are cool with it and don't let it phase you out, start playing other women that put out and put her in the friendzone because you aren't really intimate.

 

[bigneil]

How do you deal with a prude? You don't.

 

[Serg897]

Unfortunately, I have scared many of these women away by pushing for sex too soon.

Agree with Jariel. There comes a certain point where sex no longer becomes the end goal, the only goal you aim for. I to have scared girls away like this.