How to deal when women start to discuss their problems with you?

[FruitLoops]

Quite often we find ourselves in situations where women starts to discuss their life problems and all the issues going on in her life.
My question is, how do you deal with it. More precisely what do you say?
I know one should not be her psychotherapist and start to solve all her problems, cause thats a major turn off for women.

 

[AttackFormation]

A key thing to understand is that women dont talk about problems in order to solve them. They just want to express what they feel and feel acknowledged.

Let her talk and periodically ask her reaffirming questions like "that mustve been hard", "really?", "Howd that happen" And so on. Make some comments. Its not hard - they just want to vent.

However if she talks about things she really wants to solve, then you can come up with a solution if you feel like it. You can tell because such a subject small or large may be presented as a mutual problem/question, rather than just hers, and she'll probably ask you outright what to do rather than just vent.

 

[Frozen799]

Quite often we find ourselves in situations where women starts to discuss their life problems and all the issues going on in her life.
My question is, how do you deal with it. More precisely what do you say?
I know one should not be her psychotherapist and start to solve all her problems, cause thats a major turn off for women.

I see it from different point of view, if it's someone you are interested in and she only talks about issues in her life, basically she is just using you as a male girlfriend to complain and have small interest in you.
If she was interested in you she wouldn't tell you any major "issues" in her life, she will try to impress you and show her good side.

If it's a woman friend then it's ok to listen reaffirm and etc, basically what AttackFormation said, just like like a regular friend.

 

[backseatjuan]

Ask her if she likes sex.

 

[Hal9000]

Tell her the other woman's a ***** and pour her a glass of wine. You'll be htting it in no time.

 

[AJ84]

If she’s just venting she can do that with someone else. Like a girlfriend. Maybe sympathize in the way that attack formation said then ask her what her friends suggest. encourage her to talk to them about it. If she pouts that she wants to talk to you say you really don’t know what to say and don’t want to say the wrong thing ( but would sure like to make her feel better with (food, sex, one of her favourite activities etc). If she still pouts then be more direct so you set the frame that you ain’t putting up with that and you gave her options to talk to someone else or let you make her feel better with a fun distraction.

Don’t try to solve stuff either.

I had an ex boyfriend who vented a lot. The occasional vent is natural but it got old very quickly. I didn’t expect him to be happy to lucky mr positive man 24/7 but like someone said above it is a downer if that goes on and you are typically a positive person. Finally I just kept asking him, “so what are you going to do about it?”.

From my experience people like to vent about the same crap that they never do anything about, otherwise there would be no reason to vent about it.

 

[BURT MCQUEEN]

Quite often we find ourselves in situations where women starts to discuss their life problems and all the issues going on in her life.
My question is, how do you deal with it. More precisely what do you say?
I know one should not be her psychotherapist and start to solve all her problems, cause thats a major turn off for women.

Act like you're uninterested and bored, and change topic of the conversation, lead it.

Let her talk about their problem to her friends, orbiters and emotional tampon/s, she gotta talk of their problems with them, not with you

When she is with you she gotta think she wants to please you sexually, her imagination gotta run amok thinking of you, you gotta have fun with her, you gotta excite her.

Otherwise you'll get in the friend-zone, don't get in it

 

[Kotaix]

I have a tendency to just respond with a smile and something like 'yeah but did you die?'. An absurd/funny response is a valid answer to bitching for the sake of bitching. If someone complains all day long then they're not worth your time.

 

[BURT MCQUEEN]

You shouldn't talk about her problems in first place, if you get there, you're doing something wrong beforehand.

 

[Billtx49]

Listen if you want to, it’s a great source of amusement. Women do vent frequently, but No advice given unless it’s asked for…

 

[FruitLoops]

Listen if you want to, it’s a great source of amusement. Women do vent frequently, but No advice given unless it’s asked for…

Does patiently listening to them turn them off?

 

[Billtx49]

Does patiently listening to them turn them off?

Women are social creatures and listening is a polite and necessary social requirement, what do you think…

 

[Trump]

However if she talks about things she really wants to solve, then you can come up with a solution if you feel like it.

Wouldn’t do that either.

Even when asked, NEVER offer advice. Just listen to everyone’s problem like a therapist.

 

[2Rocky]

Wouldn’t do that either.

Even when asked, NEVER offer advice. Just listen to everyone’s problem like a therapist.

Watch "it's not about the nail" on YT.

If it is a woman you care about and you have a long term future, then "Cheer the hero's and Boo the villains"

 

[devilkingx2]

3 options:

1. Troll her until you get bored, run out of material or she gets annoyed, then give your take or change the subject. (Hate that b*tch at work? Kill her. Need money? Rob a bank. Looking for a job? Lets do amateur porn! Etc.)

2. Give your opinion/advice then change the subject. (This is if you think you can give her helpful useful advice, that's only if her problem is somewhere in between hopelessly petty and far too much for a non-professional to handle. For the former or the latter see #1)

3. Find a nice way of saying "shut the fvck up, who cares? Suck my d!ck or talk about something interesting, else I'm going home"

#3 is a last resort if you grow tired of #1 & #2 because she endlessly drones on about things you don't care about that aren't worth discussing. The first two options are for when it's not much of a problem, the third is if it becomes a problem.