How to connect with non-emotional woman

[OrioleMagic]

This is my first post here, so I'm not familiar with all the terms here. The forum are really good, I wish there was something like this when I was growing up. Dr. Phil, Oprah, etc want to turn men into giant walking v@ginas.

My question is how do you use these techniques on a non-emotional woman. I know 99%+ of American women have no control over their emotions, but the woman I am interested in does. She's from Africa, so not really American at all. We go to school together (I'm changing careers), and are friends (I know the kiss of death). We met last semester, and her father had just died, so she didn't want to date anyone. We did talk and joke around in class and talk on the phone some. I went out with her a couple of times to lunch, more just talking than a real date. She has told me she is not impressed by men that buy her things. She seems like she has a wall built up against men, but I'm pretty sure she likes me. Last semester I always heard here talking about me to her friends (heard my name a lot) Any techniques or advice would be a help. From my brief reading of this site, this situation requires graduate level DJ techniques.

 

[Vulpine]

There's no one "this is how". The "How to use this site" thread would have you read the DJ bible, among other things. "In your brief readings" you haven't even scratched the surface. Read the bible, read the articles, do the boot camp. You know this African woman, we don't. By the vagueness of your question, I would say you have a lot of work to do. Good luck on your journey to DJ-dom.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Read this.
The Desire Dynamic

 

[OrioleMagic]

Thanks, that was useful info. I talked to a woman on the internet I had been wanting to get to know. I also am making plans to talk to another girl at school, who is also African. I still like that girl, but I'm tired of playing games, and don't really have the time to learn the level of macking ability the guys in here have. Who knows, maybe that girl will be more interested when she sees me with another woman. (Might be too late for her then)

 

[OrioleMagic]

Update. The African girl has been out of town, visiting her mother. I talked to her on last Friday for a few minutes, and she said I'll call you back later. Of course later was not until today. The interesting thing is I have notes she needs for a class. One of us failed a class last semester, but it wasn't me. She called me today, but I didn't answer. I figure 2 people can play these games. Whether she gets the notes or not, I will still pass. I've decided to act more confident and be friendly with more women. I tend to suffer from what the DJs here call oneitis. I'm just trying to remember the advice I got here. I have a copy of the 15 rules in my wallet.

 

[Cruise]

How to get over oneitis: See other chicks. A LOT of other chicks. Expand options. Don't remain closed.

 

[MightyMate]

Just have fun with her but dont show emotions at all. Shes gonna fall iun lvoe soon.

 

[OrioleMagic]

Interesting observation about this girl. I saw her at school about a week ago. I smiled at her and gave her a lot of eye contact. I might have hugged her, but I just had surgery. After talking for a few minutes she saw a friend of hers, that she ran over to and hugged her about hard enough to break her spine. The next day, she was talking to me by phone and said that she didn't care much for that girl, and felt she was always spreading her personal information.

What is the meaning of the above interaction?

 

[Jamo]

well

What is the meaning of the above interaction? - There is that kiss of death again my friend :trouble:

 

[OrioleMagic]

I would think it was more of a transferrance of her emotions towards me onto that woman, but I guess I will find out.

I went out to lunch with her today. We were meeting up to exchange notes for school. She mentioned that I looked good today. I was severely overweight about 3 or 4 months ago, but have lost 20 pounds since then and working on losing more. (So now, I'm just fat. lol) Since we are friends, its easy to talk to her and I had a good time. I tried not to stare, but I gave her lots of eye contact. She told me to cut my hair and I said "Is that my girlfriend telling me to cut my hair. I think I'll grow out longer and cut it and give it to you." I am always ragging on her like that. When lunch was finished, I went to her car with her because she wanted to show me some boots she had bought. I told her they didn't look too good (they cost $12). She said she would take them back if I didn't like them. I also saw a bra in the bag of clothes she had and asked if she had bought that to show off to me. I wanted to kiss, but didn't want the worst feeling in the world--Denied!! You know, when you try to kiss a girl and she turns her head so you only kiss her cheek. I gave her a good hug and rubbed her back while I was hugging. Damn, this girl has skin like silk. I am feeling much better about her than a week ago. Also, she told me she is looking for a boyfriend--she hasn't had one in 4 years, since she was 19. I also forgot to mention earlier that she is a virgin.

 

[SoCalMike]

I would think it was more of a transferrance of her emotions towards me onto that woman, but I guess I will find out.

I went out to lunch with her today. We were meeting up to exchange notes for school. She mentioned that I looked good today. I was severely overweight about 3 or 4 months ago, but have lost 20 pounds since then and working on losing more. (So now, I'm just fat. lol) Since we are friends, its easy to talk to her and I had a good time. I tried not to stare, but I gave her lots of eye contact. She told me to cut my hair and I said "Is that my girlfriend telling me to cut my hair. I think I'll grow out longer and cut it and give it to you." I am always ragging on her like that. When lunch was finished, I went to her car with her because she wanted to show me some boots she had bought. I told her they didn't look too good (they cost $12). She said she would take them back if I didn't like them. I also saw a bra in the bag of clothes she had and asked if she had bought that to show off to me. I wanted to kiss, but didn't want the worst feeling in the world--Denied!! You know, when you try to kiss a girl and she turns her head so you only kiss her cheek. I gave her a good hug and rubbed her back while I was hugging. Damn, this girl has skin like silk. I am feeling much better about her than a week ago. Also, she told me she is looking for a boyfriend--she hasn't had one in 4 years, since she was 19. I also forgot to mention earlier that she is a virgin.

My friend, this may sound harsh, but depending on how attractive this girl is, you may have to lose more weight in order for her to be attracted to you physically. It's sounds like she likes your personality but not so much your looks. But she commented you look good after losing weight which almost surely means "keep losing it".

My advice is this - do not worry about this girl, or ANY girl until you are where you want to be in terms of your physical appearance. If you truly desire women who are at a certain level (not overweight), you must also be at that level.

I don't mean this in a harsh way, I've been through similiar problems and you have to focus on YOU first. Girls should be the last thing on your mind right now.

And one more thing, NEVER sit around analyzing a girls actions, if they mean they like you or not, etc. If a girl likes you, she will show it and it will be very obvious.

Hope this helps.

 

[OrioleMagic]

Good points Mike. I have been working on me. Almost 20 pounds in less than 4 months is pretty good. I am also working on getting my degree and building up my self confidence. I realized recently that several relatively hot women at school always say hi to me and I never have anything to say back except hi. I'm going to start being more friendly in those situations, even if its a woman I don't really want to date. If nothing else, my interaction with this woman is good practice. When a woman who is young and gorgeous hasn't dated in 4 years, she is throwing up serious roadblocks. I figure I will keep practicing interacting with women I meet. Who knows what will happen. Anything is better than being engaged to the b!tch from hell which is where I was 5 yrs ago. Let's just say I had a high level IQ of feminine hygiene products. I was a WBAFC, I think I am almost up to AFC now.

 

[SoCalMike]

Good points Mike. I have been working on me. Almost 20 pounds in less than 4 months is pretty good. I am also working on getting my degree and building up my self confidence. I realized recently that several relatively hot women at school always say hi to me and I never have anything to say back except hi. I'm going to start being more friendly in those situations, even if its a woman I don't really want to date. If nothing else, my interaction with this woman is good practice. When a woman who is young and gorgeous hasn't dated in 4 years, she is throwing up serious roadblocks. I figure I will keep practicing interacting with women I meet. Who knows what will happen. Anything is better than being engaged to the b!tch from hell which is where I was 5 yrs ago. Let's just say I had a high level IQ of feminine hygiene products. I was a WBAFC, I think I am almost up to AFC now.

Hey it sounds like you're doing really well. Keep it up... we've all got ways we can improve. I believe we all have more potential than we realize. If she's around 8-10 you have to be around that level in looks or make up for looks with other things (social status, money). But of course the best plan is to look the best you can AND attain the most money, social status that you can. That's just reality bro.

Yeah, keep interacting with women, even if it's just casual chatting with no intention of asking for her number, or to go out. I've found this is a good way to determine if a girl is even worth asking out...i.e. is she *****y, has issues, or friendly? is she interested in you...you can find this out just by chatting usually.

Good luck!

 

[OrioleMagic]

I want to give an update on my situation. Thanks in large part to this site, I have been having a lot more success talking to women. I was at a conference today and just walked up to a HB8.5 and started a conversation. It didn't go anywhere, but a few weeks ago, I would have never thought of doing something like that. Also, after not talking to the African woman this thread was about for a week, I called her up and we talked for about an hour and a half (she almost never talks on the phone for more than 5 minutes). Everytime I have seen her I give her little negative comments, but in a light-hearted way. Such as joking about her "chicken legs". She has also told me that she has been talking to her mom about me, always a good sign. She also has taken to calling me "her man". I would like to think this website has had a good bit to do with the improvement in her feelings toward me. In the past if I was this strongly attracted to a woman, I would call her like a 100 times, buy her a bunch of gifts, try to smother her with affection, and make her hate me. Surprisingly, I have never had a restraining order because of that AFC sh!t I pulled. Regardless of how things work out with this woman, this website has helped me see the light.