How to break up with a girl?

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Soo yeaa i'm pretty sure its come to this point but its not like i didn't see it coming. Just wondering how to go about it now..

TBO, i rly feel like just texting her right now and saying, "its over" like someone else did in another post("I just broke up with my g/f") but i wouldnt want her sayin, yea he pussed out and broke up w/ me thru txt cuz we have a cpl mutual friends. Thats the only reason i havent done it yet. I'm just sick of her lies and I feel like i can't trust her for shyt.

Today while she was telling sum story where she changed all these "minor" details i couldn't help it and just kinda bursted out and called her a 'flucking liar'. She got all upset and a fight ensued blah blah then later that day(today actually) i got the feeling she wanted to ditch me for this bar and i was pretty hurt can't lie, but now i know what i gotta do, i just dont know how to do it.

Damn i can't front tho i'm gunna miss certain things like the sex and companionship plus she bought me alotta shyt but it seems like shes one drunken night away from cheating on me or sum dumb shyt like that.

 

[Matt281]

Do yourself (and her) a favor and just do it face to face next time you see her.

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Yea i've just been thinkin about things(certain actions and signs she sent out) and it got me thinkin and kinda pissed actually and made me wanna break it off immediately, like yesterday. I just have no idea when i'm gunna see her next now after our fight today and i hope she doesnt pull sum shyt and try to do it first lol. thats the only thing i'm worried about at this point.

shes works all day tomm but i feel like just calling her there and telling her over the phone sumtime tomorrow, that can't be as bad as a text breakup.

 

[Real Talk]

Okay.

I know its hard to do but you gotta do it in person if its something she doesn't see coming. If she cheated on you or wronged you in some way (intentionally) you can do it any way you like, but otherwise it's best to do it in person, it gives things more closure. Would you want to be fired from work over the phone?

The main things to touch on are why you are dumping her and the conditions of the breakup. As for why, you can be as general as possible. If you get specific she will begin to bargain with you (dispute your statements, etc). example: if the relationship just ran its course just tell her its not working out, and you don't want to date her anymore.

Most important are the terms of the breakup. If you want a FB just say something like "we can still hang out, etc, but we are through as bf/gf". If you want nothing to do with her, just say that you need space and would rather not let her try to contact you.

 

[cavedweller]

Don't get into a big p1ssing contest with a lot of drama..Just tell her it is not working out and the relationship is over.

Then put it behind you and move on.

 

[m.brian]

Do yourself (and her) a favor and just do it face to face next time you see her.

this one very nice idea,..

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Thanx for the advice fellas. And oh she def. sees it comin too, i guess just since i'm the man, i hafta be the one to do it. One of many signs but we were supposed to go to this wedding next month and idk i dont feel like goin into it but she said on weds. maybe its not a good idea for me to go cuz all her ex's friends are gunna be there blah blah blah and i was like uhhh, ok then why'd u ask me to go in the first place but i knew why she said it.

just sucks now i gotta wait around allll day till like 6pm to do it. and tbo i wanted to do it last night so bad so i texted her at 1am to see if she was stiill up.. good thing she didnt respond till much later cuz she "feel asleep" which i also dont believe at all but whatever, not my problem anymore.

kailex if ur out there man holla!

 

[Kailex]

I know it sucks to wait around all day, but just think that you'll have it over with and you're done with that.

Whenever I have "dumped" someone, I try to do it on neutral grounds. I avoided doing it at MY place at ALL costs.

Why? Because walking away is the best tool you have in that Batman-like utility belt. Whenever you are breaking up, you want to be brief, to the point, and stick around for the LEAST amount of time possible. If you do it at YOUR place, there is NO walking away. You are stuck there.

If you do it at her place, she will be on her territory and might feel bolder, but at least you can still walk away.

On neutral ground is optimal.

Also, the less of a chance to give her to talk, the less damage done. The last thing you want to do is seek closure and give her the chance to blab on and on. Since you are the one doing it, she'll either try to use shame tactics or to lower your value in order to keep hers high.

Just do it like a Navy Seal would, swift, sweet, and with the least amount of damage possible... and preferrably, no casualties.

 

[mikeyb]

@Kailex: Great tip. If I'd known that sooner it would have saved me a very awkward situation!!

OP, make it quick and simple and above all don't pull cheesy lines like "it's not you, it's me" etc. Just say the truth: it's not working out and you don't want to date her anymore. If she argues or protests walk away as soon as possible and don't give her the chance to drag things out.

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Ok so i think i kno what i'm goin to do here. Gunna hafta go to her place tho, not sure how i'd go about telling her to meet me somewhere neutral cuz she almost always just comes to me when we would chill. soo she'll prob know before i even get there but f*ck it. will hafta remember my bootcamp training.. in n out.

and i'm thinkin of goin with the "were thru as bf/gf, it aint werkin" type statement just so that the possibility of keeping her as a FB is there still somewhat and not go into any detail at all. not gunna lie tho, gunna rly hafta bite my toungue not to tell this girl off! :cuss: :nono: lol thnx guys.

 

[TizZle]

If you have any of her stuff show up with it in a bag. Sit the bag down when you get in front of her. Then, tell her, "I don't want you anymore". Then walk away. Short and simple.

I text'ed my g/f, "its over" because she wouldn't answer her phone nor did i know where she was at, at the time.

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

So prob being too honest here buuttt yea wow I def. pussed out tonite... Idk wtf.:nervous:

 

[Kailex]

Let me guess, you two had sex.

 

[Maxfarsigth]

Heres a couple of comments.

I broke up with my LTR 3y two days ago.

I think that the simple fact of considering to break up with her is enugh reason to doit as soon as posible.
Thats why I acted in a very post-like kind of way: waited all day sitting and talking to myself then just stood up and walked to my car, to her place an said it all. She was very surprised and didnt have it comming. Maybe its just my case, but I think its really hard to tell how is she going to react.
I was also thinking stuff like: whats her family going to say, who is going to be with her on her graduation (PR), who will be her couple on her cousins wedding. All those little details dont matter when you start talking face to face (the way I recommend).

Oh, also, never breakdown or regret! I felt like doing it because she was so hurt when my words started comming out.
I do feel some pain! but I know that I did it for a greatter good: towards manhood!

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Sooo yeaa idk wtf happened that night. she started cryin and i started feelin like crap and i'm rly not in a good, strong place right now personally but now i know i'm bein played one way or the other. the only thing is today i got confirmation of that.

yes kailex we had sex but it wasnt even immediately after our 'breakup'. i;ll be honnest i just felt like shyt and have been feeling extremely lonely. I've been workin only part time and made sum serious loot in that time but that work is done now that summers over.

we're supposed to go on vacation THIS wkend to this wedding and i'm feeling so ****in conflicted.

SOO unto what i found. We play softball together and sum chick happen to hit her up and i answered sayin we're on our way but before i could close her phone i see this back n forth texts to sum dude titled "hot justin" in her phone. its sum dude i know she was talkin to when we first started chillin, that lives acrosss the country. so OBV i had to read the txt's and damn it wasn't good. first of all she been hittin this dude up all throuughout the last 2 months or so and i saw an actual txt that said our relationship is, quote "goin nowhere" and that she thought she'd give me a shot but she still thinks of him all the time (he lives in cali).

this right here is all i need to say. sadly it goes on but nothin worth rewriting here. i'm just wondering like we planned this 2 months ago. should i go on the trip n break up with her after? or should i just like do it tomm or sumthing and say **** our plans?

whats REALLY crazy TOO is (and this is for all u out there that think certain women aren't F"INNN PSYCHO) she got all drunk last night and she reluctantly told me that she loves me n wanted to know if i love her too?!~?!1? To which i had no response. but than i found that txt the NEXT morning and was like wow, u RLY are f'in crzy.

so besides feelin like a total douche i just feel RLY dumb cuz i shoulda followed my original instinct. i think its just that i feel so weak right now not havin steady work and no car that i let myself be played a lil bit. we chilled tonite actually but with male frineds of hers and it was all good cuz i was basically ignoring her but like they, this one male friend, was like plaY wrestling with her n shyt n was touchin her in ways that, if it was sum other chick, i'd would have blacked the f out on. which means to beat their azz basically i just didnt think it was werth it